Muzings From The Edge

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It happened Wednesday evening. I still cannot believe it. I will forever be jeered, cajoled, harassed, and verbally kicked around by my “real” sports friends. They will be merciless and relentless in mocking my fall from their ranks. I shall hold my head in shame in every southern sports bar I enter where they know my secret. But I could not hide from this reality any longer. I had to come out of the closet, so to speak.

I think by now all of you folks know that I am, at heart, a good old southern boy, born and bred. I grew up playing baseball, football, basketball, a little tennis when public courses were available, and a whole lot of marbles. I even kept my favorite “toy” and my favorite “breaker” marble until I was old enough to join the Marines. For those of you not in tune with the marble world the “breaker” was the one you used to break up a bunch of marbles clustered together, and a “toy” was the one that you picked off the singles with to knock them out of the circle. I mean I got into everything that I thought a person could get into that was considered a sport by normal folk. As I got a bit older I even took up the “sport” of golf until about 6 years ago. There are still folks who will debate the issue of whether or not golf is a sport, but that is beside the present issue. There was one thing that I never, ever, even in my wildest dreams thought I could show any interest in … Curling. Yep! Shuffleboard on ice. Four grown men or women with a big, specially made piece of granite and brooms basically playing shuffleboard on a big long piece of ice. I sorta got hooked.

It all happened one night when I was waiting between heats, actually a commercial break, of one of the downhill skiing events. You know, one of the real sporting events. I flipped over to CNBC and there was Canada and France going at it all out with these 42 pound granite discs. I still don’t know all the rules so don’t ask me to explain them, but as the Canadians slid their “rocks” down the ice you would think you were in Bryant-Denny Stadium on the University of Alabama campus and Mark Ingram was running 100 yards for a touchdown. The 5,000 Canadian fans in that building were going wild. They were standing, jumping, and cheering, and waving Canadian flags. It was absolutely awesome. The hair stood up on the back of my neck and I could feel chill bumps in places you are not even supposed to feel chill bumps.

I was truly impressed, and that is saying something for an Alabama boy who has stood amongst 94,000 fans at the aforementioned football stadium on a fine fall Saturday afternoon watching the Crimson Tide kicking the crap out of some team. I got caught up in all of the cheering and the flag waving. I mean all I needed was a 20 ounce plastic cup half full of diet coke and half filled with Jack Daniels and I would have been right there on the fifty yard line. I started wondering, does America have one of these Curling teams? Sure enough, we do. Now I am searching everywhere to find out when they are going to be televised. I mean, really folks we have a men’s and a women’s team. I know, it’s sad isn’t it. A really true, born and bred southern sportsman has fallen to the “sport” of … Curling. OMG!

About Post Author

Bill Formby

Bill Formby, aka William A. Formby, PhD, aka Lazersedge is a former Marine and a former police officer. He is a retired University Educator who considers himself a moderate pragmatic progressive liberal, meaning that he thinks practically liberal, acts practically liberal, and he is not going to change in the near future. But, if he does he will be sure to let you know.
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14 years ago

LAZER – Check this out HERE

14 years ago

Z I really like you. I am somewhat aware of your version of bowling. Never tried it but I am sure the skill and strategy make it equally as exciting as Curling or American Bowling.

Z
14 years ago

Er, no, that’s ten pin bowling. Bowling, or bowls, is done outside – you first roll a small bowl (the jack) to the other end of the green and then take it in turns to roll other balls, which are slightly asymmetrical to make them not roll straight unless you do it particularly hard, as close as possible to the jack. It can be played indoors in the winter on mats.

it’s just exciting as curling. But more English, so there’s not all the shouting.

Z
14 years ago

Well, in Scotland. In England, we’ve got bowling instead, which is done on a bowling green. Exactly the same principle, but without the brooms. Or the ice.

Reply to  Z
14 years ago

Hey we’ve got bowling Z. Except we do it indoors on highly polished wood with ten pins. That what you mean.

Bee
14 years ago

Well, there was that whole Jack the Ripper thing…

🙂

Reply to  Bee
14 years ago

Good point Bee. They say the reason he was never caught was because he fled to America. Figures. Give us your tired, your poor, your killers, etc.

14 years ago

My ‘Z’ is a babe of the highest order…so be nice!

Reply to  fourdinners
14 years ago

4D my comment was meant with the highest respect. I think highly of all Brits, except Tony Blair of course. He was corrupted by Bush. After it was the Brits that brought us James Bond.

Z
14 years ago

Hello, Hill – no, I’m another Z. Since I’m English, you could think of me as Zed, to tell us apart.

Reply to  Z
14 years ago

English are ya. Well then, another great big welcome to you Z, or Zed. You folks do a bit of Curling over there don’t you?

14 years ago

Z, are you the same Z that comments at The Unruly Mob?

🙂

14 years ago

That didn’t post where it was supposed to post. My comment was in reply to MadMike’s “I always thought curling was something women did with their hair :)”

🙂

Reply to  Hill
14 years ago

lol Hill. Well whichever you think it might be I never thought I would be watching it as an Olympic event on television. Hell, here in Alabama we couldn’t put that many ice cubes together.

Admin
14 years ago

I always thought curling was something women did with their hair 🙂

Welcome “Z”

Reply to  Professor Mike
14 years ago

lol That or weights exercising biceps. But like Bee said, it can be additive. Really weird.

Reply to  Professor Mike
14 years ago

Me, too…

LOL!

🙂

Bee
14 years ago

Curling always struck me as probably being addictive, like that card game Hearts. I have enough addictions, so I try to stay away from anything new 🙂

Reply to  Bee
14 years ago

It actually is Bee, but it is only for another week or so. Can’t be that bad. And it is one of the few addictions the Republicans haven’t outlawed yet.

14 years ago

I get a real kick out of the sweepers. They can come over my house any time!

Reply to  Will "take no prisoners" Hart
14 years ago

I’ll vote for that Will. Man, they can really do a scrub routine. Like I said I don’t get it all yet but those folks really do get busy.

Z
14 years ago

My first visit here (being a pal of 4D’s) and I don’t know what to say. Curling. Um.

Reply to  Z
14 years ago

Thanks for your visit Z. A bit off the mark here, but that’s why I stay on the edge.

14 years ago

Oh dear.

Oh dearie dearie dearie me.

And you sounded like such a normal chap as well.

You never can tell can you?

Curling is like watching the grass grow. If there was any grass. Which there isn’t.

Reply to  fourdinners
14 years ago

Or perhaps watching ice melt. lol 4D Living in Alabama I doubt that I will ever take this up as a sport, but it is what it it is. I never thought I would like your version of football either but I love it as well.

Admin
14 years ago

Yea Scotch!!

Reply to  Professor Mike
14 years ago

Right on Mike. Double, on the rocks with a litlle splash of water.

14 years ago

LAZER – Like that other “sport” golf, curling has its origins in Scotland, curling I think is older than golf, going back to medieval days. The Scots have a lot to answer for, golf, curling, Scotch and haggis.

Reply to  Holte Ender
14 years ago

Yeah I know Holte. I used to make fun of golf. “A great way to spoil a nice walk, etc.” Maybe its my age but It does take talent.

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