Obama tells NASA to explore Mississippi

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According to an open letter from last Tuesday signed by Neil Armstrong, Commander of Apollo 11; James Lovell, Commander of Apollo 13 and Eugene Cernan, Commander of Apollo 17, President Obama’s proposed overhaul of NASA is “devastating” to U.S. space exploration efforts. The letter echoed sentiments voiced last year by the Augustine Commission on Space Exploration, led by former Lockheed Martin CEO Norm Augustine.

In a press conference at the White House this morning (April 20), President Obama spoke of his reasons we should not be too disappointed about his canceling the NASA moonshot.

His opening Statement:

Just because we have decided not to go back to the Moon in the foreseeable future, does not mean we do not want our brave astronauts to experience strange and hostile environments and get the feeling of being millions of miles from home. There are plenty of places right here in The United States where this goal can be achieved.

They would experience a very agitated local population, speaking in strange dialects and it would be perfect training for when we finally reach out to make a first contact with alien cultures out there in the Cosmos.

During questions he was asked what parts of the United States would he and NASA consider appropriate for exploration. He said he would leave it up to NASA to make those decisions, but he added:

The vast areas south of the Mason-Dixon Line and east of the Mississippi are under consideration, plus patches of land in the northern, central and southern plains and certain parts of the Rockies. But the District of Columbia would not be explored until we have been to Mars. We would not risk our expensively trained personnel by putting them into such a dangerous and extremely volatile area until we have more knowledge of how much punishment the astronauts can take.

Minutes after the press conference The Southern Governors Alliance called an emergency meeting and sources close to MMA say they will be lobbying for a taste of this NASA cash.


Astronaut training is in full swing for their voyage to Mississippi

This is an update of a past story (February 16) on the canceled Moonshot

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Holte Ender

Holte Ender will always try to see your point of view, but sometimes it is hard to stick his head that far up his @$$.
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3 years ago

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[…] Read More Infos here: madmikesamerica.com/2010/02/red-states-to-nasa-explore-us/ […]

13 years ago

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Michael Scott, Holte Ender. Holte Ender said: RT @madmike1 Obama tells NASA to explore Mississippi http://bit.ly/a7UpuZ […]

Truth 101
14 years ago

For diehard republican states those southerners sure love government dollars.

14 years ago

What is happening to my comments??? I left a good one, now I can’t remember what I said! I might have to swarm.

14 years ago

They all speak in Urdhu and Ben­gali and Somalian.

Good language-interpretation software ought to be able to handle those. Th English spoken in the Newcastle-on-Tyne area might be a bit more of a challenge.

14 years ago

*scratching her head in wonder* gee, ah, he said that huh? Good work. 🙂

14 years ago

Whew! That sounds like a dangerous mission for NASA, exploring those alien red states. Who knows what sort of scary critters are lurking there. I think NASA should hold out for the relative safety of Mars or Pluto.

“The aliens over here make damn fine Possum.” And don’t forget the candied crawdads and deviled hawk eggs.

Admin
14 years ago

Yup! South Georgia and “Hicktard.” One and the same!

14 years ago

Might I suggest Southall or Bradford in England?

No Englishman has a bloody clue what anyone is on about in those towns.

They all speak in Urdhu and Bengali and Somalian.

Now that’s what I call alien!!!

(mind you they do make damn fine curries)

14 years ago

West Central Alabama is a great start although many of these rednecks would probably run over the “rover” with there 4-wheel drive trucks. Also, the hills of Budweiser cans are really difficult to climb. The South Alabama and South Georgia swamplands might be a good start though. Just steer clear of the stills amd pot forms.

14 years ago

Bad idea. The primitive natives of the planet Hictard would think the landing module was full of humanoid lizard aliens from FEMA, and shoot it down with their assault weapons.

Admin
14 years ago

LOL LOL LOL!

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