Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality, CURE – To fight in the upcoming British General Election
About Holte EnderHolte Ender will always try to see your point of view, but sometimes it is hard to stick his head that far up his @$$.
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The upcoming British General Election, has taken an encouraging twist, no more politics as usual.
The regular guys are all there, Labour, Conservative, Lib-Dems., UKIP, and a few minority parties, but we have a new kid on the block and they will be contesting at least five seats in the House of Commons. CURE which is an acronym for Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality. CURE is in effect, the Zombie Party.
Glad to see, at last, someone is taking politics seriously and treating it with the respect it deserves.
To prove they are not pranksters and a waste of voters time, they have gone to the trouble of writing a Manifesto for the electorate’s consideration.
The CURE Manifesto
We’ve submitted our application to the electoral commission, which is exciting. As part of this, we had to include our manifesto. We wanted to say “well, it’s obvious: no-one is taking the rights of Zombies seriously, you idiots” but thought that probably wouldn’t get CURE approved as a political party.
So instead, we came up with these, which are pretty good:
- To give the undead equal rights to the living
- To make cemeteries more comfortable for its inhabitants
- To invest in the discovery of a cure for Zombie bites
- To increase the minimum statutory retirement age to beyond death
- To permit the marriage of living and the undead
As you can see they mean business and are not just in it for the laughs. One of their winning slogans is: We Work from Cradle to Grave – Why Stop There?
The Monster Raving Loony Party has a real fight on it’s hands.
The Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality – CURE Website
osori
April 25, 2010 at 12:52 am
The dead and the teabaggers share a number of traits, not least among them being pungent odor, no observable thought processes and rotting flesh.
Holte Ender
April 25, 2010 at 10:06 am
Another difference between the CURE Party and the Teabaggers is humor.
fourdinners
April 25, 2010 at 6:35 am
Can’t beat a bit of necro….er….so I’m told….um…can I start again?……
Holte Ender
April 25, 2010 at 10:07 am
Not sure that Zombies are into that sort of thing, not as though there is anything wrong with that.
SJ
April 25, 2010 at 10:45 am
can you keep collecting government benefits if you’re dead but still walking about?
These guys might be on to something…
-SJ
osori
April 25, 2010 at 11:05 am
Hey if athletes still get paid for riding the pine-why not? Same deal man.
MadMike
April 25, 2010 at 11:52 am
LOL! True! Not that there is anything wrong with that
Frank West
October 5, 2010 at 2:08 am
if ever a zombie outbreak happens This will kill us all ZOMBIES ARE NOT HUMAN ANYMORE