Dear Maddy and the Forlorn Phallus
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Dear Maddy,
My wife is studiously avoiding sex. We have been married for 25 years and have always enjoyed a most active sex life, until about a year ago. When I ask her about it she says she is going through a phase and that I should be patient with her. I can see being patient for a couple of weeks but a year? When I try to talk to her about it she gets mad at me. Anyway I don’t know what to do but I need sex. Do you think it would be wrong for me to look elsewhere?
Worried in Wichita
Dear Worried,
While you don’t tell me your wife’s age I am guessing somewhere close to the big “50.” It is not uncommon for women to experience a “cooling off” period as they approach menopause. Of course she could also be having an affair, but there are warning signs of wifely dalliances and you don’t mention them so we won’t go into that. I recommend you continue to be patient a little while longer but let her know how you feel despite the verbal storm that may ensue. As to having an “adventure” keep in mind that this ain’t the 60’s when sex was safer. The last thing you need is to contract a raging case of the clap, or worse, only to find out your wife is all of a sudden horny. So if you plan on nibbling on the neighbor or barking a bit at the local bar I recommend you be careful and make sure that the Sheik becomes your best friend.
Good luck!
Maddy
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Damn good advice Lazer. I will have to remember it 🙂
In all my years of trying to figure women out I must admit that am yet to know what really make them actually tick. However, I am sure of one thing, women do not suddenly wake up one day and decide that they no longer want sex. The problem is either some real or imagine wrong with her physically which she is needs to see her OB-GYN about and is hesitant to do so (or perhaps has and is concern about), or she is no longer interested in riding the horse she has in her stall because another one gallops better. My suggestion is a bit crude but may well find out which way the wind is blowing.
Prepare a nice light dinner for you and the lady in question with a couple of the lady’s preferred pre-dinner drinks. Be sure to have an abundance of good wine or champagne on hand for dinner and a nice after dinner dessert wine. That’s right, the idea is to get her a bit on the drunk side and then she will tell you what you need to know. If the news is bad it will be a tearful confession, but odds are it will be the truth. By the way, you need to stay sober as possible.
I am with Truth, he should wait and take care of himself. Or wait talk to the wife! He may have not been up to snuff for her all these years and she is tired of suffering thru it!
Well I don’t know about that. I think it’s her fault 🙂
If this is too frank then I understand if you trash this bit of advice MadMike.
Worried guy: She isn’t home all the time. If it’s that bad lock the doors, find some free naughty stuff on the web and take care of business yourself. No STD’s and as long as nobody walks in on you your reputation is safe.
She’s probably just as frustrated as you are with her lack of libido. Getting on her case for something she may well not understand isn’t going to help and may make matters more difficult for her.
Not too frank at all Truth. Good advice actually. I hope “Wichita” is looking at the comments.
I have to admit it sounds fishy to me also Sue. My first thought was another man, but apparently Maddy didn’t want to explore that possibility beyond the casual mention.
Mr. Worried and Maddy may I chime in?
Speaking as a woman in her 50’s I can understand a womans cooling off period, but NOT for a year. Something else is going on and I suggest you visit her doctor together. Even if your wife isn’t horny she should still be there for you and your needs, why isn’t she at least making her self available like that? Something else is going on, it all sounds very fishy to me. How is the relationship out of the bedroom? Does she seem distant in all aspects of the relationship?
Please don’t venture outside of the marriage for sex, you will regret it! See her doctor or a psychologist.