God’s Little Corner: A Question for the Believers
About Michael John ScottMichael Scott's greatest passion is his web magazine. He loves the company of the many talented writers and is grateful for the new friendships that have blossomed as a result of this next great adventure.
View all posts by Michael John Scott →
We will now take literary notice of the “fact” that there is a God. So, given that we all now believe in the existence of an all powerful deity here is the question:
Can God create a bigger rock than he can roll?
Please leave your response in comments and don’t forget you are only being asked to believe in God on Friday.
Holte Ender
April 9, 2010 at 5:39 pm
If any omnipotent deity creates a rock so big he cannot roll it, then he is not omnipotent deity, no matter what day it is.
MadMike
April 9, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Well for Jesus’ sake Holte. A real Jumper would never have been been able to come up with that. Regardless the question is “can he” not “would he?”
Gwedolyn H. Barry
April 9, 2010 at 5:42 pm
We watch the same tv MM!! LMFAO
Holte Ender
April 9, 2010 at 5:42 pm
What TV?
MadMike
April 9, 2010 at 5:55 pm
LOL! I had Tiveoed it Gwen and just saw it a little while ago. I thought…now that is one hell of a question.
Infidel753
April 9, 2010 at 6:02 pm
If God is omnipotent and omniscient, can he surprise himself?
If God is omnipotent and immortal, can he kill himself?
If God is omnipotent and all-good, can he choose to do evil?
MadMike
April 9, 2010 at 6:15 pm
So the questions beg the question Infidel: Can God answer all of those questions?
Infidel753
April 9, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Not now. He slipped and hit his head on that un-rollable rock.
MadMike
April 9, 2010 at 8:11 pm
You are assuming that God can slip. If he can, in fact, slip, can he slip on the his own rock that he made bigger than he can roll??
fourdinners
April 9, 2010 at 6:41 pm
You mean you didn’t know God exists and has since the late 60′s? I thought everyone knew! I even touched his foot once at his last Ziggy concert. Didn’t wash my hand for weeks!
I’m shocked. You didn’t know God existed!
I will forward your apologies to Mr Bowie forthwith.
MadMike
April 9, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Long live the queen!
osori
April 9, 2010 at 6:42 pm
if God set out to make a rock bigger than He could roll, He would do so and not be able to roll it.If He then chose to be able to roll that unrollable rock, He would then roll it.
Of course, consider the source-I’m a true believer. Just one of the non-controlling non-judgmental kind. You can spot us by the LA Dodger hats we wear.
MadMike
April 9, 2010 at 8:10 pm
That’s it! That is how “rock n’ roll” was invented! Sweet
osori
April 9, 2010 at 8:26 pm
you know they got a helluva band!
Bee
April 9, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Back in my old AOL chatroom days, I used to like to argue creationists. I hammered at a few of them one night for a hour or more, trying to force them to answer the following question:
If god chose to do so, could god have used evolution as a means of creation?
They couldn’t answer no, because then god would be powerless. They couldn’t answer yes, because they were so invested in the creation crap. So, in short, their heads spun, and they would invariably devolve into a “you f’ing bitch” rant.
Ahhhh, those were the heady days of dial-up
osori
April 9, 2010 at 8:50 pm
Bee you were kickin’ ass and taking names even then!
Bee
April 9, 2010 at 9:44 pm
HEHE, that’s how Mr. Bee fell in love with me
We met in an AOL chatroom.
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 11:42 am
Bee that is so cool.
The Lawyer
April 9, 2010 at 9:05 pm
No.
The Lawyer
April 9, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Or, rather the answer is, Mu! Zen koan stuff.
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 11:41 am
Yes! Karn ieaa limpusdickus.
Holte Ender
April 9, 2010 at 11:45 pm
The omnipotence paradox is a family of related paradoxes addressing the question of what is possible for an omnipotent being to do. The paradox states that if the being can perform such actions, then it can limit its own ability to perform actions and hence it cannot perform all actions, yet, on the other hand, if it cannot limit its own actions, then that is something it cannot do.
One version of the omnipotence paradox is the so-called paradox of the stone: “Could [an omnipotent being] create a stone so heavy that even that being could not lift it?” If so, then it seems that the being could cease to be omnipotent; if not, it seems that the being was not omnipotent to begin with. A common response is that since God is omnipotent, the phrase “could not lift” doesn’t make sense and the paradox is meaningless.
Thomas Aquinas asserts that the paradox arises from a misunderstanding of omnipotence. He maintains that inherent contradictions and logical impossibilities do not fall under the omnipotence of God. J. L Cowan sees this paradox as a reason to reject the concept of absolute omnipotence, while others, such as Descartes, argue that God is absolutely omnipotent, despite the problem.
SO THERE.
osori
April 10, 2010 at 12:01 am
Good stuff Holte!
I think Mike could have asked a better question, such as if God created an enormous rock, would mankind be better served if said rock rolled over a teabag convention or if it dropped on the convention?
Holte Ender
April 10, 2010 at 12:08 am
Good old Wikipedia.
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Yea! Why didn’t I think of that?
Infidel753
April 10, 2010 at 5:22 am
Such problems arise because of the way religion uses language. Words like “omnipotent” and “omniscient” refer to abstract absolutes which don’t correspond to anything in the real universe which language normally tries to describe.
The few absolutes that really do exist, such as the speed of light, have to be defined so that they don’t contradict each other, since the real universe those definitions describe doesn’t contradict itself.
It’s very easy to use language to describe something which is impossible because its qualities contradict each other, such as a four-sided triangle, but such descriptions can’t correspond to anything in the real universe. Religion, because it uses so many absolutes, routinely runs into the same problem.
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 11:41 am
I think, Infidel, I would more readily understand the concept of the four-sided triangle before I would accept the presence of an “omnipotent” being.
Jerry Critter
April 10, 2010 at 11:48 am
I would be tempted to call a 4-sided triangle a rectangle.
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Hey yeah! Wassup with that anyway? So what is a four-sided triangle?
Jerry Critter
April 10, 2010 at 12:04 am
If god is omnipotent, then why are his followers so stupid?
Holte Ender
April 10, 2010 at 12:12 am
IF there is anything like an omnipotent anything, it abandoned Earth many years ago.
osori
April 10, 2010 at 10:41 am
Jerry,
Good question! Maybe the warranty on mankind expired a long time ago?
That would be a good thing for theologians to discuss.Was there a divine service contract offered which we didn’t take advantage of?
And did it include free oil changes?
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 11:39 am
LOL Oso. Personally I believe our warranty has long since expired:-)
Krell
April 10, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Yes God could do this…The big fucking God rock, now referred as the BFGR, is created in a superposition quantum state.
Because of the uncertainity of the physical nature of the rock created in Hilbert Time-Space, the rock is both rollable and yet also unrollable.
The BFGR state would continue in this flux of quantum coherency until measured or observed. Once observed, the quantum nature of the BFGR collapses into a definable state of Holy Roller-ness. But because God chooses not observe the BFGR, the question can be answered with a obvious yes/no.
Hey, what can you expect from someone that responds to questions with answers like “I am what I am”?
Infidel753
April 10, 2010 at 12:24 pm
You sound like that Schrödinger guy who used to do nasty stuff with cats…..
Krell
April 10, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Actually, Schrodinger initially wanted to use his brother-in-law for that mind experiment but was later changed to a cat.
As for me, I am still in constant struggle with the “Chicken and the Egg” paradox.
Butterfly
April 22, 2010 at 3:15 pm
The paradox “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” is an easy one for me. Eggs have been around for millions of years; reptiles hatch from eggs. What most people mean, but don’t actually ask is “Which came first, the chicken or ITS egg?” That’s much harder to know.
The trouble with most paradoxical questions is in the wording. Could God lift that super heavy rock? Yes, even if it was too heavy for Her to lift. That’s what the human concept of omnipotence encompasses. God is an all-powerful being that can create rocks too heavy for Herself to lift, then, lift them when she chooses.
The thing about God, I believe, is that the faithful have no trouble seeing the two sides of this rock at the same time. Schrodinger’s cat is both alive and dead. Those who are questioning can only see the rock as being too heavy or God as being able to lift it. God is all things. And being all things requires a finesse that only the innocent or over-analyzers can come to terms with. Other folks call it coincidence.
osori
April 10, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Krell,
If you’re referring to Popeye, “I yam what I yam” used to seem kinda prophetic to me.
Krell
April 10, 2010 at 2:49 pm
LOL Osori
I think it was something like “I am what I is” that Yahweh said to Moses which seems sort of vague and lacking in proper sentence structure.
Actually “Ehyeh asher ehyeh” or “I am that I am” seems a lot more confusing than Popeye’s constant wood for Olive Oyl, so I leaning towards the “I yam what I yam” as the more prophetic.
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Geez! I prefer Popeye to Yahweh but I guess that is the whole point eh?
MadMike
April 10, 2010 at 7:44 pm
BFGR..That is who we represent from this point on
I wish we could turn it into an acronym. As you know that is not an acronym. It doesn’t make a word..
scott
May 14, 2010 at 10:55 pm
im trying to come to terms with this. if such a deity were to make such a rock, then wouldnt its purpose be to stay put?. i mean a rock is nothing more than a big large grain of sand right? ..a big nough wind can move gazillions of tons of ..sand.. in the big picture a desert full of other un movable grains of sand.. just need the right wind ..in the right galaxy ..jes sayin..