I was abducted by Alien Teabaggers
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It happened this morning about 6a.m. I was at the grocery store extra early to beat the mob, when a blinding flash of light swallowed me up and transported me to, what I assumed immediately to be an alien spaceship in high Earth orbit.
I rubbed my eyes and looked around. The Aliens were checking me out, and me them. There were whole families, grandpas, grandmas, kids and everyone in between and some pretty decent rock and roll playing in the background and then it hit me. They were Alien Teabaggers.
How did I know?
They were holding signs that said “All Earthlings Are Communists” and “Keep Your Worldly Hands Off My Intergalactic Pension.” I started to fidget around a bit, and must have looked nervous, which I think encouraged a medium sized Alien to step up to me and said, in a computer generated voice with a distinct southern accent: “OK man, relax, we just wanna talk, my name is Daisy.” I asked “Are you a female?” “No man, you being funny?” said Daisy.
“W-W-How did you learn to speak English” I spluttered, “From your 1970s Telecasts, the signals reached us and we loved them so, we decided to seek out the people who would create ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’, ‘The Bionic Women’ and ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ such high art” gushed Daisy.
Another Alien named Steve continued: “Due to sonar interference we have not received your telecasts for many of your years, so we came to see for ourselves, we have been observing you from double secret high orbit, and we see you have some new shows about protests and news and people shouting, very fascinating, anyway we want to meet your leaders and we have chosen you to take our message, we are taking the Earth over, we need immediate unconditional surrender, but before we send you back, we wish for you to dine with us.”
Terrified, but hungry, I accepted their invitation to eat, and wondered what Aliens did for food. Marshmallow, plates and plates of marshmallows, mountains of marshmallow, I love ’em so I got stuck in, then I heard a familiar voice saying: “Get up you lazy bum, and stop chewing on the pillows.”
Don’t get sucked in this April 1st.
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Your alley is your business old bean. I’ve enough trouble with mine right now…;-)
Yeah, right, like alien teabaggers could even get here. Their spaceships would all be rusting and up on blocks in the front yards of their trailer parks back on their home planet.
Never thought of aliens as being stupid, watching the alien equivalent of Fox News, scratching their alien backside and bitching about the government.
As Carl Sagan would say if he were still with us, with all the billions and billions of planets out there, there must be another one on which stupid life has evolved.
I (still) love Carl Sagan, a giant of a man. Totally off subject one of his quotes appeals:
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
It would be funny if the alien teabaggers’ only messages from Earth were telecasts of the Three Stooges.
Would have been ear-twistingly funny.
LOL! Happy April Fools Day Holte!
A day for fools, right up my alley.