Lies of Newt (VIDEO)

Preceding the political drama to bring down President Clinton, a convoluted road that started in a patch of land in the Ozarks and ended with a knob-polishing Jewish girl in the oval office, I was not particularly interested in politics. I remember registering to vote in 1988, faced with the choice between declaring myself a Democrat or a Republican.

To that point in my life the Republican presidents had been Nixon, Reagan and H.W. Bush. I quickly decided that hanging out with that line up of guys that to me seemed to collectively personify the archetype of the creepy old uncle, would never get me laid. Nothing seemed less sexy than confessing to be a Republican. At least I could sort of imagine hanging out with President Carter in a peanut field somewhere smoking a joint, and saying, “Wow, Jimmy, check out that sunset, man.” “Pretty cool, huh? Let’s go to town and chase some pussy,” he would say. Thus, I checked the box next to “Democrat.”

Politics popped up on my radar screen in 1997-98 when all hell broke loose. There was the stained, blue dress, allegations of cigars being put where they don’t belong, a young girl named Monica who had engaged in executive level fellatio, Ken Starr (another candidate for the creepy-old-uncle archetype), and behind it all, orchestrating one of the most expensive witch hunts in history, a philandering bastard in his own right, Newton Leroy Gingrich, Republican Speaker of the House.

In a way, I have ol’ Newt to thank for my unwavering dislike of the GOP. What Clinton did was stupid, but the way Gingrich and the Republicans exploited Clinton’s infidelity was sickening. The bringing down of Clinton wasn’t done out of some pious principle, but rather to elevate party above country. While Gingrich was hustling about, talking small-government smack, and expressing moral outrage over Clinton’s conduct, Gingrich was cheating on his wife who was sick with cancer in the hospital.

Gingrich eventually resigned his seat in Congress after an ethics investigation, and went on to live out his days appearing on talk shows, mostly spouting vacuous right-wing talking points, writing a book entitled Rediscovering God in America, and teaching college history classes. What would one of his classes be called? Completely False Bullshit 101?

I hadn’t thought of Newt in a while, but caught him being featured in this The Daily Show Clip this morning. Watching it, I thought, oh yeah, that’s why I can’t stand the odious little prick. Thanks for all the memories, Newt.

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Posted by on April 9, 2010. Filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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20 Responses to Lies of Newt (VIDEO)

  1. MadMike

    April 9, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    I heard Newt’s speech to this silly GOP gathering. What an idiot. At the moment I am listening to the queen of idiots, The Palin. Normally I would not abide this screecher on my televisions, because she scares the dogs, but I was getting ready to change the channel when a couple of phrases caught my attention. I realized this empty headed fool could be entertaining and she is. Unbelievable but funny.

  2. Will "take no prisoners" Hart

    April 9, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    While I don’t agree with Mike that Gingrich is an idiot, I do in fact question his sanity (the eyes, it’s all in the eyes) and judgement. That, and, yes, the Lawyer, he’s just about as partsan and divisive as a politician can get. I don’t particularly care for that, either.

    • MadMike

      April 9, 2010 at 3:55 pm

      You are right Will. The problem is that when there is a gathering of idiots everyone tends to be an idiot.

      • osori

        April 10, 2010 at 11:52 am

        Mike-the eternal debate manifests itself in Gingrich:

        Is he an idiot, or does he just suck?

  3. TomCat

    April 9, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    No many how many GOP scandals come and go, Clinton’s BJ will ever remain the ultimate unforgivable sin in their eyes.

    • The Lawyer

      April 9, 2010 at 4:06 pm

      Republicans don’t like blow jobs. It’s antithetical to God’s will that sex is only for procreation.

      • MadMike

        April 9, 2010 at 4:08 pm

        Well that explains everything. No wonder my Republican neighbor is unhappy all the time.

      • Infidel753

        April 9, 2010 at 4:36 pm

        Then what about this lady teabagger with her immortal sign? I always figure that’s why she has her mouth open so wide…..since she doesn’t like the other option…..

        • Krell

          April 10, 2010 at 11:45 am

          Why do I find myself strangely attracted to that woman with the sign?? I haven’t been the same since that damn toad video. With those stupid eyes andAll HAIL THE HYPNOT…NO NO I can beat this….

  4. Holte Ender

    April 9, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Gingrich must teach “Hypocrisy 101” or “Wife Dumping 101.” Along with you Lawyer, my distrust and dislike of the GOP, is mainly down to down to Newt. What an appropriate name. No offense to any amphibians who might read this.

  5. fourdinners

    April 9, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    Awwww! Don’t be horrible to old Ronnie! We rather liked him over in England.

    Let’s face it, anyone who can survive acting with a chimpanzee and still become Prez has to be a pretty strong chap!

  6. osori

    April 9, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    I have a tendency to dismiss people like Gingrich for saying obviously wrong things as an idiot which is taking the easy way. It’s just ideology with them, it doesn’t matter how big the lie is if the end result is swinging votes your way.

    Occasionally he tries to paint himself as reasonable for conservative Republican support,but then goes off the deep end again with the teabaggers to maintain his credibility with their simpleton beliefs as well. Trying to keep a foot in both boats, is the analogy I guess.

    Thing is, he’s intelligent. Not just cunning, very intelligent. No intelligent person,IMO, can believe the really insane things right-wingers say.Maybe a kind of cognitive dissonance, able to simultaneously believe opposite things?
    Or could be just no conscience. Can lie all the time cause he’s a sociopath.

    • SJ

      April 9, 2010 at 8:57 pm

      And some people lie all the time because it pays well.

      • osori

        April 10, 2010 at 10:46 am

        SJ! Yes you’re right.$+greed=most politicians.Gingrich just seems to be a particularly egregious example.

  7. Bee

    April 9, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    Mr. Bee has been reading me pieces from Republican Gamorrah…I’ve come to the conclusion (for the 9000th time this week) that the GOP is a party of Grifters, Oxycontin whores and Pricks.

    • The Lawyer

      April 9, 2010 at 9:01 pm

      Good book. David Fromm goes a long way to explaining the sociopathy.

      • Krell

        April 9, 2010 at 9:42 pm

        That was a good book and that reminds me. I need to return it to you, Lawyer!

  8. Krell

    April 9, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Excellent point, Lawyer. The whole Clinton Lewinsky cigar thing to me seemed a little unseemly, sort of embarrassing behavior for a national leader. But they WERE 2 consenting adults. It should have got 1 or 2 days of our tabloid media. But it consumed most of his last term in office and put the government on stall for a year. The Republicans did it not for the good of the country or even some sort of moral thing. They were willing to sacrifice the best interests of the nation for this??? That was the prime indication that politics has changed from differences in political ideal to back and forth “gotcha with some embarrassing,5 minute sound bites for the media”

  9. Lazersedge

    April 10, 2010 at 6:00 am

    Wait a minute now, who said Repubs don’t like blow jobs, they just prefer males, or so it seems. You know it seems that by now we would all be used to the fact that anything on Fox news about Obama is going to be distorted or an outright lie. This is not “Breaking News.” Rupert Murdock knows their is an audience out there who will tune in just to here the President trashed by anybody who will do it so he encourages it being done. He doesn’t care if it is correct or not it is all about ratings and it is attracting ratings. It is just like Sarah Palin. If you are a conservative and you want to draw a crowd, pay Palin to show up and speak and the little creatures will follow and drool over her every word. They do not care if she knows not of what she speaks, they just want her to speak.

  10. Will "take no prisoners" Hart

    April 10, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    The last “reasonable” conservative we had was Jack Kemp.