Animal Fat and Testicles Wrapped in Synthetic Skin is ‘Bad For You’ Say Doctors
Consumers have been left shocked after learning that eating processed animal genitals soaked in saturated and fat wrapped up in synthetic bags known as ’sausages’, increases the likelihood of heart disease, according to a recent study.
The news is likely to come as a shock to many consumers who, if the results are news to anyone, believed that eating sausages was a good way to ‘eat yourself healthy’.
Lead researcher Renata Micha told us, “What we have discovered is that consuming minced hooves, anuses and eyeballs – whose taste is disguised with copious amounts of salt – is bad for you. I know, I couldn’t believe it when we got the funding either.”
“Our studies also showed that sausages also caused significant vomiting, but only when we explained to the test subjects exactly what was in them.”
“We honestly thought people already knew sausages were like the contents of a particularly low-budget bush tucker trial – minced, smothered in salt, and forced into a small synthetic bag – but we found there are significant numbers who pretend not to know how they are made.”
“They’re a bit like holocaust deniers in that respect. We’re sure that deep down they know exactly what happened, but for some reason have chosen to block it out.”
About Post Author
Holte Ender
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I’m missing my papaya hots from NYC… thanks a lot! LMFAO I think everyone knows that sausages are kinda ‘iffy’…. let alone carcinogenic. Am I right?
I’m in NYC, and I have hot sausages and hot dogs more often than I pray to Gods…
I’ll think of you when I’m having some tomorrow Gwen.
Nutsacks and buttholes are not good for anything but the metaphorical consumption that occurs when you read my articles at MMA. Even my daughter refuses to eat “lips and assholes wrapped in bung” (hot dogs).
No! No! Not hot dog too???
Oh crap…after hot sausages, hot dogs was my second love…
[…] Consumers have been left shocked after learning that eating processed animal genitals soaked in saturated and fat wrapped up in synthetic bags known as ’sausages’, increases the likelihood of heart disease, according to a recent study. The news is likely to come as a shock to many consumers who, if the results are news to anyone, believed that eating sausages was a good way to ‘eat yourself healthy’. Lead researcher Renata Micha told us, “What we have discovered is that consuming minced hooves, anuses and eyeballs — whose taste is disguised with copious amounts of salt — is bad for you. …Read ahead […]
How about what is in the picture, some kraut, and a nice cold beer? Just this one time….
As I say to the wifey…a sausage is a sausage…;-)
Those sausages in the picture look like breakfast to me.
To me it looks like a heart attack or stroke just waiting to happen, all that grease.
Actually, sausages made of testicles is tailor-made for teabaggers.
It’s necro-teabagging (and necro-rimming with the anuses) — sounds like the kind of thing a Bible-thumping preacher or Republican politician would be caught doing.
Sarah anyone?
I don’t know what the problem is. The article made me hungry!
How about some “DIGGS” guys??? Just click the little thumbs up thingie 🙂
Begging and nagging, nagging and begging not a good look, it’s equal to the ugly cry. I keep forgetting to do that, but since you are totally all bossy about it, dug.
Thank you dearie 🙂
I left myself a daily calendar msg, if you go to Mike’s house, digg everything. Rinse and repeat, so you are not found dead from bossiness and your cats are eating you 3 weeks later, on voice mail. Hubby asked what are you laughing at and when I had him listen to the reminder, I got the, only J’s husband can deal with this, eye roll. I keep myself humored and occupied for the most part leaving myself silly messages. Simple things, they say, delight simple minds. We’ll see if the reminder sticks.
=^_^=
Digg! Facebook! RSS! SEO! Reddit! Bah, humbug! I’ve barely just figured out what Twitter is. They’re inventing new internet stuff too fast to keep up.
Alas, I have yet to figure out twitter…so this diggs stuff sounds like sausages, in that I don’t know what it is or is in it.
The only reason I know anything about Twitter is that I’ve read about how the Green uprising in Iran uses it to organize. I myself have never actually twoten (twitted? twat? what’s the past participle of that?) anything.
Since Mike is so into Digg, I figure it’s some kind of old Germanic plural of “dog”.
What shocks me is people who did NOT know what goes in the food.
Jess – Have you ever seen the movie Food Inc?
AYUP and I tell people they should watch it, see what they are eating. I always like to know what is going on with my food and what I put in this body. I only get one while I am here, so I want to keep this one in good shape.
I wouldn’t be surprised to find Glen Beck is made out of those same ingredients.
Oso – Glen Beck is made of frogs and snails and puppy dog’s tails. Sounds French to me.
Thanks, Holte. Next time I sit down to some sausage and eggs, I will think about balls (eyes and “you know”), anuses, and fat! Ummmmmmmm! Pass the haggis please.
Jerry – We don’t live to be old guys like us by paying attention to what we should or shouldn’t eat. Everything is bad for you.
@Holte,
-next thing you’re going to tell me I shouldn’t watch C-Span to find out how particular laws are being made and how.
Party pooper.
-SJ
SJ – Those sausages would be a whole lot tastier than watching C-Span, especially with a couple of eggs.