Musings From The Edge: Dumb Headlines
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Like many of you I get a lot short stories, jokes, cartoons, religious sayings, and those always annoying political comments through e mail. Most of this I give a chuckle and delete but since we here at MMA are in the business are putting out news of a sort I found one of these particularly interesting. Actually, one might even call it instructive in how not to write a headline. Since I do not a clue where these originate, nor can I even attest to whether they ever appeared in print, I cannot give appropriate credit to the writers. But, if you recognize you work and will let me know I will be glad to let the world know the name of the dumb ass who wrote it.
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
While I can’t be completely sure about this but this was either a really neat trick or someone got the order of this whole thing backwards. OK, it could be that he forgot and his ghost came back and finished the job.
Now this is going a bit too far. I know that jaywalkers can be annoying but good grief, just shoot them.
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
And while we are on the topic of the justice system it seems that we are really going off the deep end in this country.
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
I am not sure what the kid did but what happened to sending the kid to bed without any dinner. Well, it is one sure way to make sure to reduce the number of adult criminals. BAM! Take that you brat. And what do we do with the bodies of the little malcontents? That’s easy.
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Be careful though, those tasty little morsels can lead to problems in life.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
I guess those in the study were not obese enough so they needed to increase the size. Cut out the kid snacks.
On another front there has been been a remarkable, unforeseen development,
War Dims Hope for Peace
I bet you never saw that coming did you. Sometimes, the obvious is right in front of you and you just never notice it. I mean, what meteorological genius thought this up?
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who was the editor anyway?
That is only a sample of the troubles facing us today. Imagine you are a ten year old reading the paper for a class assignment and you read this,
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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In your head you are visualizing these very tall doctors standing in court yelling. Or perhaps you come across this little gem,
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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Most likely you suddenly feel certain that you are definitely going to graduate from high school. Actually this headline may have a positive impact. Unlike this last one which could leave everyone scratching their heads.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
And you expected…?
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Really rich….~! People make you laugh! 🙂
LOL! These are great.
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
My best friend in the world, sends me these things ALL the time. I swear he has nothing but time on his hands. I saw one last week or week before, along the lines of Drunk gets nine months in violin case. You just cannot help but laugh at some of them. Stolen painting found by tree, was another favorite of mine from a while back.
I know Jess. I really love these things.