THE (ENGLISH) EMPIRE STRIKES BACK : OUR MIKEY & MY CAZ
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“How are you enjoying this guest posting thing on that American chaps blog?” asked the wifey, aka Carol aka Caz aka Short Arse (don’t tell her that last one or I’m in trouble again)
“Bloody marvellous” I replied truthfully, “but I seem to be upsetting people occasionally”
“And?” asked Carol succintly and, somewhat worryingly, knowledgably.
“Well…I inadvertently belittled their oil disaster and suggested Manatees came before fishermen and this nice chap who runs the show is an ex cop and suggested he would shoot me….apart from that it’s good.”
“He won’t shoot you.” said Carol, with extraordinary confidence.
“Well, clearly not imminently” I agreed, “but I am going over there in the New Year and I would rather like to meet as many blogmates as I can and I might even end up meeting Mike and he might shoot me then.” I explained.
“No he won’t” answered Carol with complete confidence.
“How do you know?” I asked reasonably.
“He hasn’t talked to me yet” said Carol, “and I haven’t offered him a price yet.”
Marriage is a two way street – unless you are male. Then it is a simple case of “Yes dear.”
The two words that make for a marriage of longevity.
‘Yes dear’
‘Yes dear’ is the difference between living in a one bedroom flat with no money and supporting your ex wife and children or living in your nice house with your wife and children….
It may also be the difference between being shot…or not.
If you are having any immediate thoughts on the benefits of marriage and you are male….think carefully.
It may save your life….or not…;-)
It’s saved mine anyroad…for 25 years this coming March.
As I am apt to often say – ‘You live, you die, the bit in between is called life. Enjoy’ (Grant Naylor / Red Dwarf)
Si thi later…..
4D
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SJ – The Drunk Punk Show is still 9pm UK time every Saturday night (that’s somewhere betwee 1pm and 4pm across the USA depending on where you are)
http://www.scooter-forums.com is the site. Just click ‘listen’ and you’re in.
I’m moving to Tuesday nights in a month or so. The station owner thinks he’d better hide me away for a while after one or two complaints….can’t think why? The music’s great! There’s only me apart from the music so what’s to comlplai….er…oh
@4D,
Great post. I’m still unmarried though. I’m sure the grass is always greener for all souls responding to this post.
-Are you still doing your radio show by the way?
I just missed The Specials here in New York last week. Brutal.
-SJ
Yes dear? Bah. That’s why I invested in a bulletproof vest. Hey, this tea tastes funny….
You’re an f’ing nut, and I like you. I know what you mean about the whole marital dynamic thing. One of my favorite writers, John Mortimer of Rumpole of The Bailey fame, always referred to his better half as, “she who must be obeyed.” It just makes life easier, doesn’t it?
I loved that show!
4D
As and ex Hit man I say to you don’t worry bout being shot.
This is America, just be careful of stairs and windows.
Hey accidents happen…
All kidding aside my friend, keep writing from the heart..
This Mike fellow picked good….
Well looks like I did something right 🙂 Thanks Tim 🙂
ROFLMAO!!! I love this. Write more like this and you are a lucky many indeed. Very, very lucky. 🙂 I think we like Carol at MMA. Not always you, but always Carol 🙂
…and then some..;-) nite all….
fourdinners,
you’re a lucky man-it appears the lovely lady took pity and married beneath her station. Her loss but your gain!
Cheers mate!