5 Weird Porn Perversions Enabled By the Internet
About Morgan WilliamsOne of the best (or worst) things about the interwebs is the ability of weirdos on the fringe- who might otherwise lead an obscure, repressed, and lonely life in their parent’s basement- to find each other. If you think of the early web pioneers, who were they but single, nerdy guys?
So naturally porn quickly became an enervating force behind the internet’s rapid growth in popularity, starting with the sex-obsessed nerds and spreading to the rest of the sex-obsessed populace.
Even before computers I had certainly heard of S & M, bondage and domination, swinging, water sports, and dungeons catering to leather-clad, crisco-toting guys burning with the desire to go where even proctologists fear to tread. But there were some paraphilias of which I had never heard. Possibly they existed well before the internet, but in numbers too small for enthusiasts to find each other easily.
Once the web made them available, their popularity began to grow. Trust me, no matter how weird or demented you may think it is, there is someone, somewhere in the world who gets off on it. Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. If not, then porn will be made of it as soon as someone hears what you are looking for.
Furries
It all began innocently enough. Fans like to dress up as their favorite characters. Not everyone outgrows this desire, even when Halloween candy is no longer a motivating factor. Go to any SciFi convention and you are bound to see at least one Klingon, someone in a jedi outfit, or a stormtrooper. Fans of anthropomorphic characters like to dress up too. They have their own conventions, fundraisers, fan art, and magazines.
This is all fine and dandy- but many of these furries don’t identify themselves as completely human, and eroticism between people pretending to be animals is dangerously close to eroticism with animals. Mostly harmless, but totally weird.
Body Inflation
This involves getting off on the inflation, or “ballooning” of individual body parts. 
Naturally breasts and butts are popular choices, but some like to see the entire body (think Violet, the blueberry girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) at maximum density. The Japanese take it a step further with guro- inflating a person or part until it explodes. There are even special double-walled rubber suits made for enthusiasts to inflate themselves. (And I just thought this guy farted in his gimp suit!)
Delilah Complex
Obviously if Freud had a name for it, the perversion must date from before the internet. The X-files andCourage and the Cowardly Dog both features sinister characters with a hair cutting obsession. In its extreme form the hair is completely shaved. It is important to note that handling or coiffing the hair in this case is less important than the act of cutting or shaving it off. So braiding the hair on a Barbie Styling Head isn’t weird, but jizzing in your pants because you watch a redhead shave her pits crosses the line into fetish.
Chubby Chasers and Fantasy Feeders
There is nothing unusual in modern day America about being in love with someone who 
is overweight or obese. Pretty much 75% of us fall into those categories, so fat has almost become “normal” for adults in the USA. But we all know that no matter how comfortable we are in our own blubbery skins, it is not a healthy way to be. Unnatural processed food diets and sedentary lifestyles are mostly to blame. Many of us have gotten this way despite our best efforts to remain thinner, as age and entropy take over.
Being fed and eating does have a sensual aspect to it. The scene in 9 1/2 weeks is quite erotic, and many foods are famously thought of as aphrodisiacs.
The pathology begins when a person takes on the project of creating their very own obese sex toy- fattening them up not unlike the witch in Hansel and Gretel. They may dominate a partner, spoon-feeding him or her until the feedee grows too obese to move, becoming reliant on their caretaker for everything. Or they may meticulously plan a gaining program for their partner, carefully recording every statistic as their “laboratory subject” gains weight. While there may be an element of benevolent, though excessive nurturing here, the end result is a distended, helpless, disturbingly unhealthy individual.
Drowning Fetish
Sex underwater might be a more slippery equivalent of the mile high club, not an uncommon feat for newlyweds on a tropical honeymoon. Most people are also aware of autoerotic asphyxiation- the lack of oxygen and neurotransmitter release heightening the sexual experience. Combine the two and you have something akin to watching a person drown. The serial killers in the movies The Cell and Cabin By the Lake took this fetish all the way, drowning their victims for their own sexual gratification.
A real case in Miami involves a man arrested for trying to talk an undercover cop (posing as another freak) into letting him sexually gratify himself by watching her daughters drown. A different perv was caught trying to recruit people for an “underwater sleep apnea” experiment. Had he been more intelligent or resourceful, he could have simply have contacted one of the many porn providers who could have supplied him with a video! Entire subgroups ranging from breath-holding to watching the pulse under the skin gives eerie credence to the thought that snuff films aren’t dead, they are merely sleeping.
Fart Huffing 
Personally, I’ve never been aroused by anything that also makes me laugh. Sex is relatively serious, and if my partner were to rip some sheet-burning effluvia at the wrong moment it would definitely break the mood. Of course I find the antics of frat boys lighting their gas and Mr Methane hysterical, so no way can I understand the sexualization of farts. It is simply too ridiculous.
But apparently there are people out there obsessed with hearing, watching, and yes, smelling people’s farts. Some guys even want to get a red-eye view of farts at ground zero!
There is something fundamentally wrong (excuse the pun) withpeople into scat, and a fart fetish is to scat what lite beer is to beer. Not as intense, but it is still beer, and they both smell like shit. A fart sniffer one day may well ask for aCleveland Steamer the next. Just oneDutch Oven in childhood and you may scar a kid for life, saddling him with a burning desire for unwholesome netherwinds. And though most fetishes, when consensual, are harmless, that doesn’t mean that the people who are into them are mentally healthy. Seriously, if they couldn’t indulge in their fantasy, would taking a skin mag into a filthy porto-potty serve just as well- for ambiance at least?
Next week Mother Hen guides you through the freak show of perversity spawned by Japan’s banning of penetration in pornography.
Tim Waters
June 3, 2010 at 5:29 pm
I have no idea what the hell water sports are.
I must be a bump on a log.
Mother Hen
June 3, 2010 at 5:32 pm
The relatively tame practice of peeing on, or being peed on by your partner. I say “tame” because wait until next week’s column. The Japanese have taken perversity to levels even Larry Flynt could never dream up!
Jess
June 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm
I almost choked on some cheese, crackers and water, when I opened this up. Note to self, when you see it is MH and the word perversion is there, no eating or drinking allowed anywhere near the monitor.
=^..^=
Krell
June 3, 2010 at 11:15 pm
or the breakfast table! Trust me on that one…
Jess
June 4, 2010 at 12:19 am
Oh I have one of those at home too. There has been many a morning since I have been married, I have almost choked laughing so hard, at some of his statements after I say something and we go back and forth.
osori
June 3, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Mother Hen, I was horrified by the fart video but am even more horrified that Jess actually eats cheese crackers! I thought they just kept those things in Quickie Mart display cases for laughs.
Jess
June 3, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Phhhhllllllttt!! to you
. They are Carr’s water biscuit crackers with cheese. I corrected my sentence above with proper comma placement. It should have been cheese, crackers instead of cheese crackers. No, not the fancy stuff from the can either just so you know.
Krell
June 4, 2010 at 2:57 am
No le’whiz fromage frais?
Jess
June 4, 2010 at 4:16 am
Nope, let’s just say, after I ate that, I could probably play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata without sitting at my piano to do it.
Krell
June 5, 2010 at 7:15 am
LSHIPMU!!!!! (laughing so hard I peed my UnderRoo’s)
Stimpson
June 3, 2010 at 7:56 pm
I have just two words to add to this discussion: scrotal infusion. Google it, if you dare.
Jess
June 3, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Why would someone willingly do that to themselves, I Googled, because that is just how I am? It’s like getting breast implants and what if you were to get a bad batch of saline? I am not a guy and it makes me say ouch, after seeing the photo on the site I went to, wouldn’t that hurt? I thought I caught a spelling error the other day from a friend of mine when we were talking via email. He made some comment about tribadism and I thought he meant tribalism since we were talking about groups doing this that or the other. Nope, there is in fact a whole group of people into tribadism, lesbians mostly.
Mother Hen
June 3, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Of course I know about scrotal infusion, and raise you a goatse.
It (the SI) is another form of that perverse inflation thing. But I was trying to keep it safe for work, at least make the NSFW something you had to click to get to. I’m saving actual body modification, like that and penile bifurcation, for another post.
osori
June 3, 2010 at 9:44 pm
OH NO!! Hijo la chingada-WTF?
I mean hell just getting a hard tap in the nuts is enough to put me on the floor in agony. Why would anyone do that? And that other thing Mother Hen-why would anyone do that and post it?
Jess these things are so much worse than cheese crackers.I’m afraid to stop at any more red state convenience places in the middle of nowhere again for fear they’ll have lines of ball inflated spread ass White guys waiting to purchase cheese crackers.
Jess
June 4, 2010 at 12:16 am
AYUP and those ball inflated white guys, will be farting through Hermes silk scarves for the delight of those non homoseckshual republican homoseckhuals, that just don’t admit their fetishes. That woul be after they have cracked open some of those nasty cheese crackers, so you know what the smell will be like. Peee ewww
Damn, I love this place and all the great writing here. You are always learning something new, which is a good thing(in my best Martha Stewart impression)
=^_^=
osori
June 4, 2010 at 12:39 am
Got a varrio thing I’m working on I think you’ll like. It’s mostly true and what ain’t true, oughta be!
Tim Waters
June 3, 2010 at 10:06 pm
Okay time for another real story, Years ago when I had my own business, my son of let’s say ten came with me to work. I had to do estimates. We went by a place I had been that had great burgers and after all it was lunch time. I asked my son if he wanted to go there. I had noticed the sign said Juice Bar,which was new. Silly me, I thought Kiwis and all kinds of fruit. I said to him, you like fruit! No, he wanted McDonalds. Fine!
The next week I went by the same place,this time alone,when I went in it was quite dark. I had on dark shades. Once my eyes adjusted I noticed everyone was naked. I then realized what a juice bar was.I laughed out loud. See,I am a bumpkin.
Mother Hen
June 4, 2010 at 8:12 am
LOL- good think you didn’t take your 10 year old in there. Remember too, a “Glory Hole” is not a place to go swimming or watch fireworks!
SJ
June 3, 2010 at 10:51 pm
Mother Hen,
you are the reigning queen of bizarre on MMA.
I was rolling my eyes right until I got to the words “fart huffing.” You could make John Waters blush.
I mean this all as a grand compliment.
I want to see how you’re going to top this post…
or maybe I don’t.
Cheers.
-SJ
osori
June 4, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Yes Mother Hen we await with bated breath and horrified fascination! just please not that goat thing or the ball inflating. Ay that just hurts thinking about it.
Mother Hen
June 5, 2010 at 2:19 am
There are no shock site links I promise. No urethral penetration- none of that. Solely focusing on the weirdness of the Japanese (directly brought about because of repressive laws on porn) which are numerous enough to make a “20 things” list, but I try to keep posts shorter for those of us with ADD.
Krell
June 3, 2010 at 11:20 pm
Away on a business trip for a day and see all these fascinating posts!
SJ….please don’t express a curiosity about how she is going to top this. That is like asking a Texan to discuss his gun collection.