Fan Photos With Cracker Jesus?

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Any Bible historian knows that Jesus could not have looked like the Anglo/European version commonly painted onto black velvet.

If you believe Jesus appeared human,    as the description in Isaiah (53:2b)  states “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him.” Meaning he appeared ordinary- or at least didn’t have any especially distinguishing physical features. In fact, he must have looked an awful lot like his own disciples, as Judas had to be bribed to identify which of the group was Jesus. Surely if he had looked different, it would have been mentioned somewhere in the Bible, or by the apostles.

This would imply that God either:                                                        (above)   Jesus looked like this guy

Created a living embryo with unique DNA

Created special DNA (holy sperm, if you will) that fertilized Mary’s DNA (For more on this idea click here)

In either of these cases, Jesus could look like anybody,  as God created either half or all Jesus’ DNA.  After Jesus was resurrected, he might have changed appearance a bit anyhow. Of course if you are a Creationist it is likely you don’t even believe that DNA exists. Somehow a magical Sky Daddy who can make a planet in 6 days is  more likely.
Mormons think Jesus made a personal visit to America after his resurrection. So if they want to pretend he looks just like the majority of them, why can’t they?   While it runs contrary to the canon of Catholic and Protestant Christianity, it is no more unbelievable than the resurrection itself. After all if people can get their photos with Lieutenant Worf or Brad Pitt, why not Jesus? Wouldn’t the photos be even more accurate though, if the subjects posed in their magical underwear?

A photography studio in Utah has brilliantly capitalized on this idea. Now anyone can reenact the famous poem “Footprints” or pose as a “Bride of Christ” with a handsome college-aged Anglo  Jesus  model.  This plays into the whole “Personal Savior” thing that many Christians evangelicals espouse. (Personally, I want the Jesus I pose with for my black velvet painting to look like Johnny Depp! )

About Post Author

Carol Bell

Carol is a graduate of the University of Alabama. Her passion is journalism and it shows. Carol is our unpaid, but very efficient, administrative secretary.
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13 years ago

. . . Holy Mary Full Of Grace, The Lord Is With Thee, Blessed Art thou Among Women and Blessed Is The Fruit Of Thy Womb Johnny . . .

Not to sure about that.

osori
13 years ago

Since he was native to Palestine he’d look more like Johnny than the moron, I mean mormon guy or the painting.

13 years ago

I thought he looked a bit like Willem Dafoe?

Jess
13 years ago

Johnny Depp perfect Jesus indeed.

Reply to  Jess
13 years ago

How could you not bow down before him? Or kneel down at least 😉

Reply to  Mother Hen
13 years ago

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

13 years ago

Johnny Depp! He is the perfect Jesus. I love him…in the Pirates movies, lol

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