Pretty, Sleazy, Stupid: More Lessons from Celebriworld
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Stephen Hawking may be the smartest guy on the planet, but has he ever done anything as important as The Proposal? Didn’t think so. Forthwith, some of what we can learn from the most important people in the world.
PEOPLE WANT TO SEE THE PRETTY COUPLE FAIL: Because Scarlett Johannson and Ryan Reynolds have separate careers that don’t allow them to be seen together constantly, and because ScarJo didn’t immediately turn to her hubby in the excitement of winning a Tony last Sunday, some people with enquiring minds say their marriage is on the rocks. Really.
THIS GUY CAN’T SERIOUSLY WANT AN HONEST ANSWER: Gossip jerk Perez Hilton was upset this week by public reaction to a picture he tweeted of Miley Cyrus getting out of a car. The upskirt pic had pixellation between her legs that implied the 17-year-old wasn’t wearing undies. The puffy blogger huffed: “”Do you think I am stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she is not wearing any underwear down there?” The frank response to that question is yes, we do think you’re stupid. And sleazy. And a general waste of skin.
REALLY, THIS PEREZ GUY IS STUPID AND SLEAZY: On HLN last night, Perez/Mario said an upskirt shot of a minor is OK if she’s “been around the block” and been behaving in an “over-sexualized” way. What a twit.
THE LATE BRITTANY MURPHY’S LATE HUSBAND SPREAD HIS SEED: The 8 Mile actress may have been Clueless to her hubby’s Little Black Book. Whether Simon Monjack’s Uptown Girls were Drop Dead Gorgeous like her, I guess we’ll never know. But he definitely was not a Good Boy! Forget Happy Feet, parts a bit farther north had fun times without Brittany. Anyway, shady Simon was hiding the fact he had fathered at least two kids out of wedlock. I don’t know how a man of his low caliber could get into so many women’s pants. My best guess involves roofies or hypnotism.
EMINEM HAS THE CLASSIEST, MOST COSMOPOLITAN FANS: So a rapper who has long been considered a homophobe tells the New York Times he’s OK with gay marriage (“I think if two people love each other, then what the hell?”), even if he’s not a fan of marriage in general (because wedlock is “miserable”). That’s progress. It’s a good thing. Unless you’re an Eminem fan, like the one at Celebuzz who put the Cheetos bag down and typed: “ive lost so much respect for him hes going with the crowd an becoming a sell-out just to be more popular.”
CANADIAN MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SAW-REE: I know there are U.S.-Canada pronunciation differences. But I wasn’t aware of this one, explained by ABC Family series Pretty Little Liars’ sole Canuck cast member, Shay Mitchell: “[W]hen we’re on set and I have to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ they all say, ‘Oh, you’re so Canadian. You said sore-ree. It’s saw-ree.’” Now, I realize Repubs don’t say sorry except maybe to oil companies, but do the rest of you say saw-ree? Weirdos.
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Stimpy, I say sah-ree. . . and tamaytoe . . . and sometimes I even say “eh?” at the end of my sentences. . . and when I do people say “you are so fucking Canadian.”
Yes, they love to see the pretty people fail. People have been rooting against me all my life.
Stephen Hawking is in hospital recovering from several broken bones.
He went on a date and she stood him up….
…I’ll get me coat…
Pretty, Sleazy, and Stupid, weren’t they in Bush’s cabinet, or was that the Three stooges, hmmm! From the sounds of Perez Hilton it could be either.
Pretty,Sleazy and Stupid were always my favorites among Santa’s reindeer Mike.
There have also been vicious rumors circulating that both Holte Ender and Truth101 don’t wear underwear either. Perez should leave those two guys alone as well.
I don’t think there’s much to worry about, except didn’t Truth say something recently about wearing a kilt?
I’m still waiting for word on the accepted U.S. pronunciation of “sorry”
Stimpson,
as a citizen of the US empire to one of our Canadian subjects, “sorry” hasn’t been in our vocabulary for 200 years so there is really no need to even use the word.
However, when non-Americans say that word to us, the pronunciation would correctly be “saw-ree”.
LOL! Thanks for the info.
I see nothing inherently inconsistent with a homophobe who hates marraige (even for straight people) thinking gays should marry. Perhaps he feels they would deservingly be just as miserable as he perceives the rest of married guys are.
No matter what misanthropic reasoning he displays, the more celebrities supporting gay marraige the better chance it has of being accepted by the mainstream.
I LOVE the thumbnail photo. The expression of the little girl on the right is priceless!
Oops, that comment above was mine. Thought I was still logged in. We are down to one computer, so if you notice Krell waxing poetic about a monkey ‘taint (or me having half a clue about Cold War History or physics) you might keep in mind that we have to share.
I wasn’t meaning to suggest there was anything inconsistent in what Eminem said. Personally, I agree with him that many marriages are miserable; in fact, I think that’s obvious.
The thumbnail was chosen to rep the first item. I searched “jealousy” in Google Images, after “schadenfreude” got unsatisfactory results. Glad you like it.
I am so pleased that it was Mother Hen commenting (while logged in as Krell), I thought I was losing my mind, which still may be the case.