The Four Dinners World Cup Report #1
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I intend to report on the World Cup on MMA – from an English perspective naturally.
In other words, from the perspective of a man who lives in a country with a genuine chance of actually winning the thing – unlike the USA…;-)
(How I will regret that statement if you beat us this Saturday)….;-)
…not that it’s likely I hasten to add.
Of course the USA has beaten England at FOOTBALL before.
In 1950 when England had the greats of the day, Matthews, Mortenson and Finney to name but three.
They were, I suppose, the equivalents of Gerrard, Lampard and, of course Rooney today.
Apparently the USA’s Landon Donovan has been asked which actor he would like to play him in the forthcoming movie should the USA actually beat England – an eventuality which is being compared as better than winning the World Cup itself by many Americans – clearly on the grounds that winning the World Cup for the USA would be akin to Osama Bin Laden donating a million dollars to Christian Aid or North Korea asking to become another state of America or Four Dinners becoming a member of Alcoholics Anonymous….or even BP pluggin that bloody oil leak next week!
Donavan answered “I quite like Johnny Depp”.
So do I but he ain’t gonna score against England, and neither are you mate!
There are a number of nations capable of winning the World Cup, England amongst them. Sadly for England, Brazil, Italy, Spain and even more sadly the bloody Germans could well win it.
Argentina should not be excluded from realistic contenders as, despite having a short, fat, frequently drug addled manager they also have Lionel Messi. In my humble opinion, the greatest footballer to ever grace a football pitch.
African nations? Unlikely. Nigeria can be pretty good on their day but they don’t have the consistency to win it.
South Africa itself? Don’t make me laugh. They’ll do well to qualify from the group stage – although I hope they do as it will be a bit of a damp squib if the host nation goes out then – even the USA managed to get through their group in 1994, even if Diana Ross missed an open goal in the opening ceremony….
Portugal? Doubt it but they could be ‘dark horses’ as could be ‘Holland’.
I suspect Brazil will be there, or thereabouts, come the final.
My England flag is proudly flying from my bedroom window.
My prediction – and I will be making many over the coming weeks thereby leaving myself open to increasing ridicule – no change there then – is that England will thump 4 past the USA and the USA may be allowed a consolation goal at some point to ensure the ‘special relationship’ between our two countries continues…what ever that means….;-)
America doesn’t have a FOOTBALL team, it has a SOCCER team…oh dear. Mind you, if your team looks like that one…you could walk over everyone!!!! – especially if pausing to sit on their faces…;-)
As my pal the Pepperami Man is apt to say…
“America hasn’t got a FOOTBALL team. They don’t even know what it means! Eat your hot dog before I shove it in your N-Zone!!”
As for Germany? Does that bloke Kuntz still play for them? I so hope so!
The Four Dinners World Cup Reports have begun.
As long as England remain in the tournament they will remain reasonably constructive and polite.
If we get knocked out they will become increasingly vitriolic and xenophobic….
You have been warned…;-)
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FOUR? Bah, if you guys manage to nab that many tallies tomorrow, the next time (the first, actually) I’m in Jolly Ole, first round’s on me.
As long as the final isn’t Brazil and Germany, I’ll be cool. Otherwise, much adult beverage.
I’ll be getting in touch with you Saturday afternoon, my friend.
Look Jess – and America.
The only team you can support is your national team.
You go out in the group stages and you have nobody left to support…end of.
You can, in those circumstances, still enjoy the spectacle of the tournament but that’s about it…
If England fail to qualify from their group stage (USA, Algeria and Slovenia being the other teams) I will quite possibly commit suicide – none of the above are even remotely in our class.
In a way…the USA has little to lose. Nobody with the slightest understanding of FOOTBALL expects the USA to progress very far.
Apart from Landon Donovan the best you’ve got are in the ‘second league’ in England – which is far superior to most ‘first leagues’ on the planet.
That being said…I’m hopeful the USA will progress…a number of your players play in England and, being English, we are quite fond of them.
Anyroad…I will report regularly on what is happening if only because many Americans will have no idea at all…they’ll be wondering why nobody is wearing ridiculous helmets and padding and why the ball is a ‘normal’ shape…
“Vindaloo…Vindaloo…Vindaloo, Vindaloo nah nah…
We’re goin’ to score one more than yoooooo!!!”
…It’s another world in’t it?…;-)
‘He has a friend of his from Cameroon, I think it is, and Brazil. I have no idea who they are going to be supportng’
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen of America…
The lovely Jess has just exposed you…er…in a manner of speaking….;-)
Peeps from Cameroon will support Cameroon – period. Peeps from Brazil will support Brazil – period.
It ain’t a sport where you support anyone else! It’s the way it works America.
You have ONE team and ONE team alone. Your nation.
If England get knocked out do I cheer anyone else on? Don’t be stupid!!!
Peeps from Cameroon or Brazil or Spain or France or (God forbid) Germany will support only THEIR nation. If their nation gets knocked out they will support absolutley nobody.
That isn’t to say they won’t enjoy some top class (real) football but they won’t give a toss if their nation is knocked out.
That’s TRUE football. No middle ground.
TRUE football. The kind that involves ‘feet kicking a ball’
Oh..yeah…sorry America…I forgot you have no idea….
You only have ‘soccer’.
As my Pepperami friend keeps saying…”Eat your hot dog before I shove it up your N-Zone!”…;-)
“Me and me Mam and me Dad and me Gran are off to Waterloo…
Me and me Mam and me Dad and me Gran with a bucket of vindaloo…”
You really have no idea at all do you (says a patronising Brit…who is so so right!)
This, America, is REAL SPORT…the sort you have to beat the real world to win…
‘World Series’? Gimme a break!
THREE LIONS ON OUR SHIRT! JULES RIMET STILL GLEAMING! ALL THESE YEARS OF HURT, NEVER STOPPED ME DREAMING!
….I think I’d better go to sleep now…hic…;-)
IT’S COMING HOME IT’S COMING HOME IT’S COMING…FOOTBALL’S COMING HOME!!!
Teams they support????
You got The League Of Nations in your house???
They support the USA I would suspect…that’s the lot who are about to get hammered by England on Saturday…;-)
Well we have me. I am a league of nations all by myself. Hubby is supporting USA, of course. He has a friend of his from Cameroon, I think it is, and Brazil. I have no idea who they are going to be supportng, but my guess probably USA till their team comes up. I know the Brazilian woman is a huge soccer fan. She travels to Los Angeles to see the Galaxy when they play
More to the point…are you wearing a short skirt?…
..behave Dinners..;-)
For softball in a recreational league, oh no, I wear the cut off sweats and a tee shirt. When I played in school and college it was a uniform, long pants and long sleeved shirt.
:), I’ve been playing softball, kind of like your rounders game, since I was in junior high school. Was on an all female team but now I am playing with both men and women. I’ll be home but I won’t sit there and watch with them. They all get too involved with teams they support for me.
Jess : I like ‘Rounders’ – It is played by extremely attractive young ladies (occasionally ‘jailbait’ but there you go) in very short skirts.
If a man of my age sits and watches a ‘Rounders’ game for too long he will be arrested – unless he knows where to watch with impunity (which, of course, I don’t)…-)
Just tune in on Saturday and have a laugh at your hubby and his pals as we, England, embarrass them…;-)
By the way…in a purely masculine way I assure you…The Deppmeister is, in my humble opinion, THE MAN!
Hey, I just got through watching the world cup concert on the sports channel here. 4D, I love you, you got a Depp reference in there, so you have my smile 🙂 Hubby said he will be watching this, so if his friends come here to our house, I’ll watch a little but not all of it. My own sport is baseball, I think you call it rounders or something similar there. Everything else is mumbo jumbo to me, rules and how to play wise.
=^_^=