How to piss off the TSA …

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If you want to cause yourself some problems heading through TSA–or exiting the airport—travelers can now choose from a bevy of suitcase stickers to slap on luggage. For just twenty-five bucks, passengers choose from transporting bricks of cocaine, stashing a suitcase filled with cash, traveling with sex toys galore, or carting out a bound-and-gagged flight stewardess.

Each of the four suitcase sticker offerings provide the illusion that the bag’s exterior has been ripped open—offering a sneak peek for other travelers, who want to grab a glimpse of the “contraband” inside.

Co-owner Ryan McCormicks and Colin Hart run thecheeky.com. McCormicks’ partner, Colin Hart, came up with the idea for the stickers, which now retail for about US $25—he says the idea came while waiting for his baggage after a transcontinental flight into Vancouver. “Everyone was looking like zombies at their luggage,” says Hart, “and I thought, How could I make it more interesting?”

Apparently the same stuff that make life more interesting—for many–also seems to work for spicing up luggage: cash, drugs, sex and gagged women. On the downside, customers better be broke or love using vintage baggage to fulfill the believability factor—the gag doesn’t quite work with Samsonite or Louis Vuitton.

Hard to say whether TSA will find the unusual stickers quite as intriguing as the creators–McCormick and Hart warn customers not to actually use the new luggage stickers while traveling, lest some wayward TSA agent mistake the bricks of coke as “the real thing”.

“I’m nearly sure there will be some horrific horror stories,” says sticker creator Hart. Hart may be over-estimating events related to his creative endeavor: it may be a stretch—even for TSA—to assume that even one of its agents is dumb enough to believe that a ripped-open suitcase filled with cash or coke is bound for x-ray, or for the luggage carousel. Then again, that might just be the bag that goes “missing”.

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Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.
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James
11 years ago

2 things they are sick of:

People wearing really dirty under wear ( or none for guys )

And wrap a piece of tin foil in duct tape.

Agents have actually quit because they feel they are being harassed by flyers.

Payback’s a bitch ‘eh?

Jess
13 years ago

Another thing that gets the screeners at the gate all flustered and blushing, when they pat you down, because you are buzzing for some reason. Go through the line wearing no bra no panties, when they pull you aside as the brown person in the line, as they have done more times than I can count. Not that I did that on purpose, or anything, when we just went on our vacation and know from personal experience.

13 years ago

Anybody that would put one of those stickers on their luggage these days deserves the rubber glove cavity search they will probably get.

It’s bad enough flying with normal baggage and having it pawed through by the TSA.

Also with the occasional “disappearance” of the electronic gadgets that fellow travelers and I have experienced during flights with the “Sorry about that but we are not responsible” memo’s from the airlines.

13 years ago

It would comical if an actual criminal stashed coke in a bag, slapped a coke sticker on, and the bag o’ drugs slipped through.

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