Conquering sex problems
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Women sexually connect mostly on an emotional level. Many of the problems in the bedroom are due to the fact that, as men, we aren’t like that in most cases. That’s not to say that we don’t love our wife but when it comes to sex, our general goal is the orgasm. I’ve given advice on a relationship forum for a number of years. During that time, I’ve learned a lot about women. When it comes to sex, these are the most common complaints that I hear from women:
Falling asleep after sex. I can understand that after an orgasm you just tend to fall asleep. However, you need to keep in mind that most women like to cuddle after sex. Why? Because it’s at that time when they feel closest to you. If you fall asleep right after your orgasm, she likely feels a bit lonely and neglected. If you absolutely can’t stay awake after your orgasm, make sure that she gets her orgasm first. You’ll only make things worse if you fall asleep beforehand.
Not enough foreplay. Most women need more than five minutes of foreplay before they are turned on and ready for sex. Don’t rush things. If you want a hot woman who acts like a porn star in bed, you need to be prepared to spend some time getting her to that place. It’s ideal if you enjoy getting her there as well.
You can’t talk about sex. If this is the woman you married, there should be nothing that you cannot talk to her about. Let her know what you like and how you like it. Ask her what she likes and how she likes it. Ask her if there’s anything you haven’t done sexually that she’d like to try. This kind of talk will often get her in the mood, too.
Sex drive problems. Now there are a lot of things that can lower your woman’s sex drive. Some of them may be medication side effects or a hormone imbalance. She may feel self-conscious, but most of the time it’s due to stress or anger.
Stress. She works for eight hours, comes home, cooks dinner, washes the dishes, helps the kids with homework and does the laundry. Would you be in the mood if you worked a 16-hour day five days a week? Likely not. Help her out a bit around the house and with the kids. Why not split the home chores down the middle? Some couples actually schedule sex dates. I know that doesn’t sound very romantic but many couples do this and it works for them.
Anger. For most guys, sex will relieve stress and calm them down. Women aren’t like this at all. If there’s some sort of conflict in the relationship, most women will be affected by it sexually. Anger = low libido. Your woman needs to talk about it and hash it out outside the bedroom. If the two of you can talk it over and work it out, you’ll improve the intimacy in your marriage.
She’s bored. If you come on to her the same way every time, if you just get straight down to business without much foreplay, she’s not going to be that into you. Do a bit of experimenting. Give her a massage beforehand. Jump in the shower with her. Try some body paint or oils. This is a pretty easy issue to fix, and fun at the same time.
You only touch her when you want sex. This is a very common problem. If you only touch her when you want sex, she’s going to resent you. Women want to kiss you and they want you to do that all the time, not just when you are in the mood.
Skills. Some guys don’t really know how to kiss a woman’s lips or her breasts, how to stimulate her clitoris. If you’re not sure how to do these things and do them well, get a book and educate yourself. You want her to look forward to having sex with you.
So, light some candles and make a plan. What are you waiting for? Get started.
Many thanks to Man of the House
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Krell has such a creative imagination. Perhaps he should write a sex column?
I think that would be an excellent idea, Maddy.
Maybe I will run it up the flagpole and see who salutes?
A “Virtual Sex Tour” by Krell. I could write one, but it would put too much emphasis on the “weird” and no emphasis on the “normal” which is just boring. Of course, Krell would do the same thing.
His Depends are too tight.
I always thought that the folk wisdom of “Once you’ve had sex, you can’t go back to holding hands” was downright retarded.
You’re right about the “only touching when you want sex” thing. As Monty Python so eloquently put it, “What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don’t have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate.”
What about…Once you have had whips,leather, and a bathtub full of peanut butter? Is it too late to hold hands then? It was Jif Crunchy if that helps any.
I think I will just let this post speak for itself, and I hope you guys are paying attention. I know I did 🙂