Is My Cat A Racist?
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“He is not being called Blacky anymore” I stated firmly as our latest stray cat walked by, “I am calling him ‘Stealth’ after the ‘Stealth Bomber’…”
“You get to name all our cats!” exclaimed the wifey, “Blacky’s the first I’ve ever named!”
“I don’t care. It’s getting beyond a joke” I insisted.
“What is?” asked the wifey slightly perplexed.
“Look” I said, “I’m calling him ‘Stealth’ after the Stealth Bomber ’cause he moves stealthily through the undergrowth and decimates the mouse and frog population of our garden and it won’t be a problem when I shout him in”
“Why is it a problem now?” asked the wifey
“Because he’s the only one of our cats who goes out the front and you keep making me shout him in from the front door before we lock up for the night!” I exclaimed
“So why’s that a problem?” asked the management innocently.
“What happens when our Somalian muslim residents get called to prayer then eh?”
“I don’t know what you mean” insisted the wifey / management.
“Oh yes you do! They cut down our road ’cause it’s a bloody shortcut to their mosque!”
“So what?” asked an increasingly defensive wifey
“So I’m stood on our bloody doorstep as all these black blokes walk by shouting ‘Heeeeeeere Blacky!!!!….that’s what!”
She looked slightly abashed.
“So” I continued, “either he is henceforth known as ‘Stealth’ or you can bloody well call him in and it’ll be your fault when the house is full of bloody Somalians thinking we’re offering them a place to stay!”
Blacky is henceforth known as ‘Stealth’.
Who says men don’t win arguments?…;-)
Nite America…..
“Heeeeeeeeeeere Stealthy!!!”
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Dulce will come when you call her name if you simultaneously open a can of wet food or cat treats. Works with any name or no name too! Amazing.
My favorite author of all time, HP Lovecraft, had a black cat he named, “Nigger-Man” and I had a friend who named his black kitten “Moulie” so really, blackie isn’t as bad as it could be. (Our black cat is named “Judas”)
I merely object to “Blackie” as a cat name because of its blatant unoriginality. A white cat- would its name be “Whitey”, “Honky”, or “Snowball”? Cats deserve better.
I am just amazed- nay ASTOUNDED! That no matter what his name is, the bugger actually comes when you call him! Mine never have.
Nice to see two old guys getting along 🙂
fourdinners I seem to be doing that too,getting older and angrier.
Smarter blokes would get smarter or better looking or taller as they age. We chose option “D”.
Stupid of us man
beddie byes Dinners.
nite Stimpy x
…why am I getting angrier the older I get?
No. Fuck it. Stimpson. I like you but that comment was bollocks. You have no idea and don’t fucking patronise me.
There is nothing wrong with calling a black cat ‘Blacky’ and the black guys walking past our house should live with it.
It’s OUR country and my wife spends her entire working life in the health service saving the lives of all race creeds and colours so FUCK people of African descent. If they don’t like us calling a black cat Blacky that’s tough shit.
If they don’t like a cat being called Blacky because he’s black then they can fuck off and so can anyone who has a problem with it.
Stealth will now continue to be called ‘Blacky’ – purely due to you Stimpy old bean – and I will shout the little furry sod in every night from my front door and anyone who doesn’t like it can either fuck off or take me on.
I just got mad.
What about English fucking descent or don’t we fucking matter anymore?????
I still like you Stimpy but Blacky is now and for ever Blacky and I’ll shout him loud and clear every night!! !!
Fuck this for a game of soldiers
I didn’t intend to patronizing, FD. And I *did* get the joke. I was trying to build on the joke rather than patronize.
Not to worry. We’re still cool, as the kids say.
My concern was the possibility of getting punched in the head whilst calling my cat in!
….maybe peeps should stop getting offended by ‘life’ and try getting one mate eh?….not you by the way!!!
For what it’s worth, I get offended every bloody day around here – and that would be two posts at least – but I’m just some white English guy so what do I know?
Two black guys kicked my car today because my driving school is called ‘Brittania’ (which is emblazoned across my hood) and they shouted ‘racist scum’ as they kicked it.
uh?
Live here Stimpy old bean. Live in Hayes Town and tell me about offence eh?
…oh bloody hell Dinners…open your mouth and someone kicks you in it…..
In England this post is ‘funny’…..oh well…some humour doesn’t travel eh?
I would have thought your concern would be about offending people of African descent. Silly me.
A little trivia about that song: It’s one of the rare songs Janet Jackson is credited with writing all by her lonesome.
Cheers.