$#*! LiLo Says, And Other Profundities
About Carol BellCarol is a graduate of the University of Alabama. Her passion is journalism and it shows. Carol is our unpaid, but very efficient, administrative secretary.
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Lindsay Lohan, Jerry Lewis (yes, Jerry Lewis) and Sofia Vergara are among this week’s celebrity newsmakers. Here’s some of what they had to say.
“I was 18, 19 — with a ton of money — and no one really here to tell me that I couldn’t do certain things…”
- Lindsay Lohan, explaining to Vanity Fair how she isn’t to blame for all the reckless shithead things she’s done.
“I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”
- Lohan, 24 years old, telling VF the blame specifically falls on her dad.
“They did the interview before Lindsay went to jail and rehab. What did they expect her to say?”
- Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s father, babbling. That’s a family of deep thinkers.
“I’d smack her in the mouth if I saw her. … I would say ‘You deserve this and nothing else’ – WHACK! And then, if she’s not satisfied, I’d put her over my knee and spank her …”
- Jerry Lewis, who says LiLo and Paris Hilton are “children begging for help.” Paris is nearly 30, but perhaps most people are kids to someone Jerry’s age.
“Yes, I mean, I’m fast. I run fast. They zipped me and they sent me to do press.”
- Sofia Vergara, soon after Sunday’s Emmy Awards, claiming she had already made good on her promise to run naked on a Hollywood street if Modern Family won an Emmy. Oh, how I wish I could believe her, and that there were photographic proof.
“I love you more than baseball.”
- Bryan Cranston, presumably a better-than-Lohan dad, giving a shout-out to his wife and daughter while accepting an Emmy. I’d like to take this moment to tell Sarah Palin, if she’s reading this, that I dislike her more than volleyball.
“They’ll say, ‘Dad, don’t see this.’ They know if it’s too mushy or too slow or too much thinking.”
- Danny Trejo, star of Machete, discloses that his children steer him away from smart movies. I’d make great sport of this, but I’ve come to believe Trejo could track me down and slay me.
“I thought it was gum.”
- Paris Hilton, explaining her alleged possession of cocaine in Las Vegas last weekend. Not a quote, actually, but a paraphrasal from a Sin City cop’s report. Oh, how I wish it were on tape. That kinda stuff is comedy gold, I tell ya. Solid comedy gold.
“Christina Hendricks is my pick for the Emmys’ best-dressed lady.”
- Jessica Simpson, tweeting. Yes, there was something about the Mad Men actress’s attire that really made an impression with me too. I can’t recall exactly what it was, however. Oh yeah – now I remember:
Jess
September 3, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Jerry is a senile old man that doesn’t know any better. Sofia’s boyfriend was just in a terrible accident, so she can be excused if there is no photo evidence. Probably had to get to the hospital to go see him. Linsday and Paris are idiots, that is all. Trejo, pretty damn cool guy if you ask me. No comment on Hendricks.
Stimpson
September 3, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Yeah, I love Danny Trejo. So glad I found a way to mention him.
Lohan and Hilton are freakin’ mother lodes of stupid. I like that.
The Lawyer
September 3, 2010 at 5:32 pm
I love Christine Hendricks’ breast more than…well, everything. God almighty, they are stunning.
Jess
September 3, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Do you know right after the Emmy’s people were dogging her for daring to show herself because she is not a stick figured girl. AYUP, dress should have covered more of her girls because she is not a size 0 like the rest of Hollywood. This is what women have to deal with, we are either too skinny or too big or too this or too that. CAnnot win for losing.
The Lawyer
September 3, 2010 at 6:46 pm
In the world that is MAN, great breast make up for just about any other deficiency.
Krell
September 3, 2010 at 5:38 pm
I was going to comment on this earlier but I cannot get past Christina in the picture. Stunning in their absolute stunningness.
I must applaud Zac Posen in his superb use of the cantilever in designing that dress.
Jess
September 3, 2010 at 5:49 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c4L4CPfQY8&feature=related
A Saturday musical thing, since I won’t be around tomorrow just for you. You are so welcome.
Stimpson
September 3, 2010 at 6:07 pm
Oh, Krell, you’re such an engineer.
Jess
September 3, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Hey and something that just came of the internet. The little 2yr old that was smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day has finally kicked his habit by going to rehab, yes a 2 yr old in rehab for cigarette smoking.
Stimpson
September 3, 2010 at 6:42 pm
He must have the worst parents in Indonesia.
fourdinners
September 4, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Go Jerry!….and what’s wrong with senile old men exactly?…;-)