Jon Stewart interviews Osama bin Ladin

Read Time:1 Minute, 50 Second

As if a fawning interview with war criminal Condoleeza Rice wasn’t bad enough, Jon Stewart followed it with an even more obsequious performance – allowing President Obama to lie about both his healthcare package and the
economy
without batting an eye.

Which got me to thinking – how would the starstruck Stewart handle an interview with Osama bin Laden?

Let’s see, shall we?

Jon: Thank you for coming. I don’t know what to call you – Sheik bin Laden?

OBL: Osama is fine.

Jon: Osama….(takes deep breath)..people are gonna expect me to ask you, so…..(winks at camera) how tall are you anyway?

OBL: 6 foot 5 inches. I’m hard to miss.

Jon: CIA doesn’t seem to think so!

Both laugh uproariously.

Jon: Ever think about playing in the NBA when you were younger?

OBL: Between my studies and prayers there just didn’t seem time for frivolity. And you?

Jon: I’m a 5’6″ Jew. We OWN teams, we don’t play on them!

Both chuckle.

Jon: So Osama – where you been keeping yourself these days? (impish grin)

OBL: Well Jon, I needed to be in a place where no one would see me – where a 6’5″ guy wouldn’t stand out.

(Glances at camera, winks, turns back to Stewart) I’ve been playing for the Clippers! Nobody goes to their games!

Jon: No wonder Nicholson quit going!

Each convulses with laughter.

Jon: (Clasps hands, very serious look).The World Trade Center, Osama. 9/11.What happened there?

OBL: Jon, I ask myself that all the time. It just got out of hand. It should have been handled so much differently.

Jon: Fair enough. The planes, the flames. Do you feel any responsibility?

OBL: I feel terrible, Jon. But that part wasn’t my idea. Some other guy. (Shrugs shoulders and smiles) One-armed man maybe.

Jon: (Chuckles) Harrison Ford could play you in the movie!

OBL: (Grins) Not tall enough!

Jon: So Osama, what’s in the future? Gonna write a book maybe?

OBL: Thought about it. Maybe work with kids. Go back to school, get a degree. Help people.

Jon: Good luck with that, Sheikh. Thanks so much for appearing here rather than with Glenn Beck!

OBL: That guy’s crazy, Jon.

About Post Author

Carol Bell

Carol is a graduate of the University of Alabama. Her passion is journalism and it shows. Carol is our unpaid, but very efficient, administrative secretary.
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lazersedge
13 years ago

We must all face the truth about our President. He came into office woefully unprepared for the job. He had great ideas but he did not know how to get things done. When I wrote my little story about “The Tree” I said he had thrown down the gauntlet. He talked the talk but he could not walk the walk. He should keep in mind that when the other side is being bull headed you need to get a bulldozer. So sayeth the Lazer. He was trying to play patty cake and they were using hammers. Now the congressional democrats, who should have stood with him and smashed the repubs into nothingness, are running away from him like he has the plague. Once again proving that nice guys finish last.

13 years ago

I guess that Sharon Angle isn’t the only one who seeks out a safe media refuge.

13 years ago

OSO~!~! You are one talented fella! Do they pay you by the word? Gods! This tickles, my Bro! Tickles and tells it….
Krell! You old truthsayer you! Tell the rabble to be quiet, we anticipate a riot… this common crowd… is much TOO LOUD!
But
ya know
Hossanna hey sonna sonna sonna ho… sonna hey soona ho soonaaaah,
you know that tune.

13 years ago

Pretty good Oso, but it’s damn shame we are disappointed when a comedian, who hosts a fake news show, does not ask hard questions of the President, yet we say very little, when trained journalists don’t do it either.

Krell
Reply to  Holte Ender
13 years ago

Very good point, Holte!! Where are the trained journalists today?? Where is the mainstream investigative reporter??

I think that Fox News can be ruled out for that task.

Reply to  Krell
13 years ago

OK …. just saying… AC360 does it when he’s allowed to. Rachel does it… very well. Did you catch KO’s comment on the teabaggers if elected? Brian Williams doesn’t avoid the tough questions…. there are journalists in broadcast and print with plenty of integrity… but I would think, especially here, folks would ‘get it’ that due diligence and integrity is not easy, it takes work and dedication. And politicians / or story interests will avoid you if they are looking to hide something or ‘bury’ the facts. When you have to research a story… it’s hard work. A fast fading ethic, I admit. When you are wrong in print or broadcast or non-factual relating stories (or you lie by ommission) you come back around and admit it. Correct it. That’s still happening in broadcast and print! And online. You have to look for it.

Reply to  Gwendolyn H. Barry
13 years ago

Good point Gwen. It is out there and thank the Interweb Gods for supplying the conduit to it’s availability.

13 years ago

Ha ha, fantastic, Oso. But what does one expect from centrally centrist centrism masquerading as “sanity.”

13 years ago

Obama’s record…

Campaign promises
• 117 Promise Kept
• 19 Promise Broken
• 36 Compromise
• 81 Stalled
• 249 In the Works

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2010/jun/25/checking-obamas-campaign-promises/

13 years ago

The health care bill was compromised from the beginning. Deals were sealed before it even started but SOME progress was made.

His performance on Financial reform borders on criminal. It is the equivalent of watching a house burn down with pets inside without doing anything about it. He set the tone right at the get go when he appointed Summers, that Greenspan wannabe.

He had a chance to enforce some accounting rules when he first got elected and had majority in the House and Senate.

Instead he gave the Banks and WallStreet the cozy keep it going signals.

HAMP for the mortgage crisis is a joke….no, it’s more of a trap. Go on it for a few months, get kicked off and then foreclosed on with all the penalties and payments stacked up.
His administration is more concerned about how the downright fraud effects the health of the banks as opposed to the victims.

The fact of the matter is that John Stewart cannot use his line of “I’m just a comedy show” anymore. Right now he is probably the most trusted news source for a lot of people.

He did a disservice to his own previous shows by bringing Condoleeza Rice and not asking the hard questions. She stated publicly that the Bush Admin doesn’t torture. What about that simple question?

He skewered Jim Cramer on the front end of the financial crisis. He skewered the mortgage mess on a show broadcast on Oct 9th.

Why couldn’t he ask 4 or 5 questions on that?

Maybe clear up a few things instead of allowing “heck of a job, Summers” Pun intended to be as far as it went.

Admin
13 years ago

I didn’t see where the president lied about the HCB. I also think it’s a good bill, at least better that what we had before which was nothing. Finally I thoroughly enjoyed the interview.

Obama 2012 🙂

13 years ago

They are so proud of the HCB. When the time comes I am forced to purchase insurance when there’s not enough money anyway I will revolt.

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