The worst job on earth

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Who in their right mind would respond to this help wanted ad?

Executive Director of a maligned, polarized, dysfunctional nonprofit organization on the brink of bankruptcy needed. Duties include solving highly complex, and seemingly insurmountable problems. Every solution the qualified candidate proposes will be met with monolithic and venomous opposition by at least half of of those within the organization. Said candidate for this position will not have the power to fire those that stand in opposition to the candidate.

The qualified candidate can also anticipate his/her every utterance and policy proposal dissembled and mischaracterized twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Many within the organization will wish for nothing less than to see the complete failure of the qualified candidate. The qualified candidate must be prepared for the real possibility of constant investigation and probing, which could result in censure, or ouster, by the organization, and total disrepute of the qualified candidate.

The successful candidate will be provided twenty-four hour security, because there are many within and without the organization that will want to kill the Executive Director and his/her family.

Expect very long hours and being constantly awakened in the middle of the night to solve new highly complex and seemingly insurmountable problems, the solutions for which will be met with monolithic and venomous opposition by at least half of of those within the organization.

Perks include free travel and great food. The Executive Director will also be provided a food taster to prevent the possible poisoning of the Executive Director, his/her family and advisers.

Though pay for Executive Directors of like profit oriented organizations is $25 million dollars per year, the Director of this organization will be paid an annual salary of only $450,000.

The job interview for this position will take two sleepless years, and millions of dollars of the applicant’s own money and money raised from those that do not presently hate the applicant’s guts.

This organization is an equal opportunity employer, but if the successful candidate is black, many within the organization will hate the successful candidate more than they were otherwise predisposed to for no rational reason.

About Post Author

C.H. McDermott

C.H. McDermott is a jack-nut doing what he loves best, which changes with each passing moment.
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BaconBits
12 years ago

Like your place and will return.

Admin
13 years ago

Brilliant!

13 years ago

The position would totally suck if not for all that power. But then, the Obama White House doesn’t use its power.

Jess
13 years ago

Not me, wouldn’t want it for all the money in the world. In fact, I was told this week by a conservative neighbor that they are hoping the baggers will institute the English only as our language and people like me need to go back where I came from. Um, I was born in California so I am American, where would I go. Plus the amount I pay in taxes, keeps some of you at work was my response. I told the fucker, I could buy and sell him a hundred times over, that is how pissed I was. Shouldn’t have said that, because I think talking about what you have is very gauche, but the dumbshit provoked me to talking about what I have. See this is the dumshits I live around in a BLUE state no less. We have all kind of idiots in California. Not just the south.

13 years ago

I think you got it right CH. That’s the perfect job description, especially for this president, although it’s mostly true for all. The anger that Obama stirs up in the breasts of millions of Americans has nothing to do with politics, which is shocking.

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