Microwaves, the Death of Society

When I was a kid, our family ate dinner at the table. Every night, we would sit around the table, and Mum would serve the food.

We would eat and talk about the day’s events. It was fixed. Even as we kids got older, we had to be home at 5:30, because that was when Mum served the food. If you got home later, you might find your dinner on a plate in the oven, but it would usually be dry and tasteless. It was either that or a cheese sandwich, so we had plenty of incentive to get home on time.
Then the microwave oven began to be sold in the shops. The first models were huge and expensive, but the price came down pretty fast, and soon most homes had one. Now you no longer had to be home on time. You could drift in at anytime that pleased you. You knew that you could always re-heat what was left, and have a nice hot meal in about 5 minutes. There was no central point to the evening. The family talk around the table mostly disappeared. The glue holding the family together began to dissolve, the bonds of society began to weaken, leading to higher youth crime rates and dissociative social disorders. Respect for parents and all authority figures began to crumble and society as we knew it began to die.
All because of the microwave.

The answer is obvious.
You banned alcohol in the 20s because of the detrimental effect on society.
Recreational drugs were banned for the same reason.

We have to destroy every microwave oven in the country.

Time is short, act now and get your kids to return to the centralising influence of the family dinner table.
Those poor benighted souls need help to return. Communal cooking and conversation classes are being set up even as you read this. Be the first in your neighbourhood to set up a class. Invite your friends and neighbours. Invite the local gang-bangers; they need to learn, and you can help.

Start now.

Throw your microwave in the trash. NOW. It’s not too late.

Please Note:  These graphs are entirely spurious, are not based on any reputable source, reference or even expert opinion.  They are purely here to add a certain mathematical and scientific verisimilitude to the article.  If FOX News can do it, why can’t I.  Let’s be fair, it’s not just FOX news, it’s government, government agencies and every pressure group in existence.  Believe me, I’m a mathematician.  Actually that’s a lie as well.  I’m a scientist, and everyone knows that scientists don’t lie.

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