Maher’s New Rules- Sports and Politics!

On this week’s show, Bill Maher combines two of my biggest passions, sports and politics in his New Rules section. Thankfully Crooks and Liars does the dirty work and clips the video. The C&L transcript is sadly incomplete, but the good part of the video starts at 2:32:

Bill Maher had another great New Rules segment tonight with his comparison between the economic models embraced by the NFL and MLB and those of the Democratic and Republican parties.

MAHER: So it’s no surprise that some 100 million Americans will watch the Super Bowl next week. That’s forty million more than go to church on Christmas. Suck on that Jesus! It’s also 85 million more than watched the last game of the World Series and in that is an economic lesson for America, because football is built on an economic model of fairness and opportunity. And baseball is built on a model with the rich always winning and the poor usually have no chance.

The World Series is like the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills; you have to be a rich bitch just to play. Where as the Superbowl is like Tila Tequilla, anyone can get in. Or to put it another way, football is more like the Democratic philosophy. Democrats don’t want to eliminate capitalism or competition, but they would like it if some kids didn’t have to go to a crummy school in a rotten neighborhood, while others get to go to a great school, and their dad gets them into Harvard. Because when that happens, achieving the American dream is easy for some and just a fantasy for others.

That’s why the NFL literally shares the wealth. TV is their biggest source of revenue and they put it all in a big Commie pot and split if thirty two ways. Because they don’t want anyone to fall too far behind. That’s why the team that wins the Superbowl in the next draft, picks last, or what the Republicans would call “punishing success.”

Baseball… baseball on the other hand is exactly like the Republicans. And I don’t just mean it’s incredibly boring. I mean their economic theory is every man for himself. The small market Pittsburgh Steelers go to the Superbowl more than anybody. But the Pittsburgh Pirates? Levi Johnston has sperm that will not grow up and live long enough to see the Pirates in a World Series. Their payroll is forty million. The Yankees is two hundred and six million. The Pirates have about as much chance of getting to the playoffs as a poor black teenager from Newark has of becoming the CEO of Halliburton.

That’s why people stop going to Pirate games in May. Because if you’re not in the game, you become indifferent to the fate of the game and maybe even get bitter. That’s what’s happening to the middle class in America. It’s also how Marie Antoinette lost her head. So you kind of have to laugh that the same angry white males who hate Obama because he’s “redistributing wealth” just love football; a sport that succeeds because it does just that.

First, the sports. Several of the reasons I feel that baseball will never rival football, with regards to parity among the teams, are the ones that Maher rattles off. There is also the strength of the players union. You will never see guaranteed contracts in football like you do in baseball. You will never see as high a minimum salary in football as you do in baseball.

As for politics..Maher again hits a homer, or scores a touchdown whichever way you want to look at it. The R’s are as usual, out to lunch and don’t friggin get it. Or as Bill says…it’s every man for himself and they think the D’s always want to punish success.

Then, there is the part of the transcript that C&L didn’t get and it’s the best part. Maher then talks about the middle class getting bitter and why. And the Mother of all Ironies..The same angry white men that hate Obama, because he is redistributing the wealth, also love the f*ck out of football, which of course works, because football… is based on the wonderful socialistic theory of redistributing the wealth.

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