Rural Evangelical Radio – Stand by Your Man, Beat Your Kids

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Cruising under the big sky of rural Western Oklahoma last week, I heard something on the radio that about caused me to spit coffee all over the dashboard and windshield of my Honda Civic.

Something I like to do out on the open road between courthouses is check out local Christian radio. Sometimes I will stumble upon some evangelical who is actually offering up advise that would be wise in any context. All religions do have that potential, even if it isn’t exercised regularly.

More often than not what I hear is more like comedy–the espousing of traditional/agrarian values completely out of touch, and in constant battle with the modern world.

The woman who about caused me to make a mess of my car said this: “It is a woman’s place to be in the home and obey, and be subservient to her husband. Why do I know this to be true? Because The Bible says so. If The Bible says so, then it is true. It’s the way it has always been.”

My goodness, I thought. I imagined arriving home that evening and telling my wife, with conviction, “Woman! From henceforth you shall do as I tell you to do. The Bible mandates your obedience to me. Now, fix me my supper, fetch me a beer, and don’t give me any lip.”

The rebuke would be certain and swift. “Did you just say what I think you said? You can bend over, grab your ankles and I’ll stick your supper and beer right up your…”

I grew bored with Tammy Wynette’s admonitions and scanned a little further for another biblically inspired lecture. “The devil is out there, watching everything we do,” some raspy old codger was saying. “The devil is in each of us as rebellion. All rebellious behavior is the work of the devil. If your children are acting out in a rebellious fashion, you must pray over them like your life depended on it, and beat the devil out of them.”

If I chased my kids around the house with a belt, yelling, “Lucifer, get thee gone,” a quiet evening in jail would be my divine destiny.

It is supremely interesting to me that we can inhabit the same planet yet live in such different worlds. For some of us, the one-true-way and good old fashioned values would get us in all kinds of legal troubles consisting of protective orders, domestic assault and battery, and child abuse charges, and a petition for dissolution of marriage.

I can’t afford to be morally erect.

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Collin Hinds

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stacey
13 years ago

I think I may have heard the same sermon or something very similar to it. I wish I could remember her name. I recalled, at the end of the broadcast, they said her sermons could be ordered on cd and I was thinking about ordering them as a Christmas joke for my aunt who is very women’s lib and very outspoken–you know, all the “things” this lady preacher was so against. I know when I heard it, I thought, “this woman can’t be for real!”

I was listening to another religious program last nite at work and it was also like that “devil is gonna get you” sermon you described.I get tired of hearing all of these sermons that are designed to make you feel guilty.

I went to a church a few years ago that believed everything bad was caused by the devil. I mean, if you or your kids got sick the devil caused it. If your finances were bad, your husband/wife left you it was the devil. The devil was behind anything and everything. It seemed like, to them, he was more powerful than God. It amazes me how some otherwise mature, supposedly intelligent adults will park their brains at the door when they enter a church and suspend all critical thinking skills.

Jess
13 years ago

Why is that not considered abuse again, when you hit a child? Oh, it would be that whole spare the rod, spoil the child thing right? Yeah it works so friggin well, that those kids have emotional scars their whole damn life. I almost feel sorry for these people at times.

13 years ago

More than several years ago, I drove from NW Missouri to Dallas, stopping off in Tulsa on the way. The gaps in decent music radio forced me to listen to some bizarre stuff. I know exactly what you are talking about, then I thought it entertaining, now, not so much.

Reply to  Holte Ender
13 years ago

You’re right about that, Holte. In the past couple of years, no longer funny. Now seems scary.

It’s hard not to think of the crowd out there that believes some of the crazy stuff and are willing to commit awful acts in the name of some of those ideas. There are truly some crazy people out there and the internet gives the power for some to find others with the same crazy ideas to reinforce and empower.

13 years ago

I had to laugh when you mentioned your hobby because I do the same thing when I’m driving in that part of Okie land. Especially when it’s down near the Arbuckles of the southern border.

There is some strange ionospheric phenomena in that area that allows me to pick up this one AM station from Texas that has this “fire and brimstone” preacher that makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants.

Fortunately,I know that this is the devil trying to corrupt my soul via my bladder. Mental visions of forehead slapping and dancing with the snakes of eee-vul!

Admin
13 years ago

That f*cking bible is responsible for more violence and insanity than any book ever.

13 years ago

I’m thinking you would not hear a response after your “subservience speech”, you would feel one. Most likely upside the head in the form of a shoe!

Although it couldn’t hurt to put some holy water in the kids’ neti pot. Drive away the demon mucous.

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