We All Have a Twin Somewhere
Read Time:2 Minute, 16 Second
Night chill in her hair replaced by sweat, Teva sheds her jogging outfit on the way to the shower. In bed and sheathed by warmth, she quickly falls asleep. Chest rising and falling, breath slowing, Teva murmurs something in a language she couldn’t possibly know. Her eyelids begin to flutter.
Kakra, whispers the mother, Kakra. Incense envelops them as she ritually chants to Bes. Arranging the linen sheet around her daughter’s shoulders, she gently strokes Kakra’s hair as she gazes up at her husband. He holds her gaze a moment and then looks down, nodding his head in assent before turning to leave the room. The mother then reaches for a small stick and begins to apply kohl above and below her daughter’s eyes.
Teva had always been athletic, able to outrun any of the boys in her class. A bundle of energy. Yet lately all she wanted to do was sleep. Eating was too much effort, and going to work had become a supreme act of will. Her doctor could find nothing wrong with her, suggesting she watch her diet and perhaps take a few days off. The time off only weakened her further.
Setting down the curling iron, a strong young woman critically eyed the finished product in the mirror. A frightened little girl turned and left for work.
Kakra spoke in her sleep again, bringing fear back into her mother’s eyes. Her daughter had seemed better, taking a bit of food and asking about her little sister – then sitting on a stool to gaze into the marshes, even spotting an Ibis. The strange words frightened her – was Kakra speaking Nubian? Where would she have learned that?
Stroking Kakra’s hair as she awoke, the mother’s concern eased as her daughter smiled gently and began speaking of another wondrous dream, with beautiful clothing and describing wonders which must surely come from Pharoah’s palace. Half-listening, she began to spoon chopped figs and grapes into her daughters mouth. Pleasing her mother, Kakra insisted on feeding herself and told her mother go, go make bread for father. I will eat and sleep and dream some more.
As the weather grew hotter Teva in turn grew weaker, finding solace only in sleep and beginning to recall dreams of being fed grapes and other fruit by a kind-looking woman, walking alongside a marsh looking for herbs and plants to give to the kind-looking woman, eating meals around a low table seated on stools.
Gathering dry reeds to be woven into mats, Kakra senses a kindred spirit within her. Dropping the reeds at her feet, she whispers words of welcome.
Teva’s breathing slows, becoming a steady rhythm. Her eyelids flutter. Her breathing slows, slows, stops.
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Wow, Oso, if you were to write a novel, I think it would be a complicated work.
This was good. If you had displayed Teva’s athleticism and reported the Nubian words and surrounded the whole tale with tons of events that were instead summarized, I think this would have been excellent. The small work made we want to come to know Teva, instead of being told about her. If you had done this, you probably could not have posted it here, though, as it probably would have been pretty long, I would guess more like 10,000 words.
If you added interrelated sub plots that somehow tied the timelines together, it could easily have become a novel.
Have you ever thought about writing longer pieces?
Beautiful, Oso! Your imagery creates such a vivid and eerie picture of times past and present. Well done, Sir :-))
Calling this story awesome does not do it justice. This was a fascinating piece and my only regret is that there was not more of it.
Loved it 🙂
Fascinating that you had the girl from the later time blend to the earlier, not the other way round.
Thanks MH.
Another awesome post from Oso. You need to be publishing somewhere.
What Deb said OSO!!! Fantastic read!