New Homeland Security Strategy: More Peanuts, In-Flight Champagne

Airline security recently asked a friend of mine to remove her sweatshirt. She had no shirt underneath. Luckily they settled for patting her down, though I personally would have liked to see their response had she unquestioningly obliged their initial request.

So is the story of airline travel in post-9-11 America. We get patted, prodded, sniffed and scanned in the name of anti-terrorism. Long lines add to the insult of “security-related” fees tacked onto our airfare.

Then, of course, there is the airline industry response to their additional costs—the dramatic scaling back of perks. Gone are the free peanuts, pretzels, beverages, and in-flight meals. (Hey, they may not have been great…but they were free.) Gone are the free checked bags. Gone are the oxygen masks in the loo. The cuts of the airline industry know no bounds.

Recent evidence suggests that airlines may be empowered to reverse both of these disturbing industry trends by reinstating their many in-flight perks—and maybe throwing in an occasional serving of champagne and caviar. A recent story (which can be read in its entirety here) indicates that terrorists involved in the attempted airline bombing of Christmas 2009 were averted from implementing their attack on a Chicago-bound flight not by our nation’s many security measures, but by the cost of the flight.

Therein lies the logic–By reinstating airline perks, and forcing a subsequent increase in the base cost of air travel, airfare would be elevated outside of the reach of cash-strapped terrorists, allowing for a scaling back of screening procedures. Consumers would even recover some costs through a reduction in those pesky security fees.

If I had to choose between paying security fees and bringing my own snacks, or having in-flight perks returned… I know which way I’d lean.

Bring on the champagne.

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Posted by on March 25, 2011. Filed under Commentary,News,Social Issues,Terrorism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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7 Responses to New Homeland Security Strategy: More Peanuts, In-Flight Champagne

  1. greenlight

    March 25, 2011 at 12:34 am

    Okay, so some airlines still offer peanuts or other snacks…and soda is still usually free, which gets me asking for the whole can in hopes that they don’t open it for me, since that offsets the cost of my air travel by a whole 50 cents or so…but that’s just how I roll. The industry’s still kind of a mess. 🙂

    Bring on the champagne!

    • Michael John Scott

      March 25, 2011 at 12:35 am

      Fly those friendly skies baby!

  2. fell from grace

    March 25, 2011 at 1:28 am

    I am so old. I’m 63. This thread recalls to me the times that I got on an airplane after buying a ticket on “standby.” Cost me 1/3 of what regular fare was for the “cheap” seats.

    I was a long haired white wise guy that was dressed like a hippie. Sky black hair and a super red beard. People remembered me.

    Walk on the true cheap plane carrying a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other, with clothes bag that held spare clothes, books,and prescription drugs, slung around my neck. Never be frisked although I usually carried three weapons on me. Two of them totally illegal weapons.

    Ah, those were the days for intelligent exploitation of the arrogance of pure white racist sexist privilege.

    I could always stun the “under” class working people with the simple fact that I had worked as a pick and ax laborer in a smelter. If I wanted to know what was really going on, I asked the cleaning people on the night shift. They were happy to spill the beans about what really went on.

    The simple fact that I always picked up the check anywhere, yes I did take them out to where we could get above average quality meals, might have helped me cross the line a lot of times.

    That and tipping like crazy, get me a drink, tip waitstaff the same as the amount of the bill for the drink.

    Damn, I exploit the hell out of people and they actually let me get away with it. They can’t believe someone would actually do what I do. I toss out compliments and interest at first, then when things are set my way, we don’t go back.

    • Michael John Scott

      March 25, 2011 at 1:45 am

      You got it man! We don’t go back!! Hey stop by again…loved your comment.

    • greenlight

      March 25, 2011 at 1:55 am

      Nowadays, they charge for “standby.” Indeed, one of many signs that the times, they are a-changin’!

      It sounds like you knew the tools available to you, and “worked it.” I’m not sure that’s always a good thing, but I suppose it can be.

  3. Holte Ender

    March 25, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Alcoholic drinks should be free and plentiful on all flights, anyone that refuses to partake, should be arrested.

  4. Pingback: August 2, 2011: TUESDAY IS EXQUISITE: Champagne « Decor Arts Now