Weird Culture
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We like to think that we are a civilized culture down here in Aoteroa (New Zealand).
I live just outside the capital, Wellington, which prides itself on being the culture capital of our small but perfectly formed country. Every year the Government House Concert takes place, a 2 hour open air classical concert in the Governor General’s Vegetable Garden. I ask you, is there another country in the world that would have a concert in the Queen’s Representative’s House. And in the Vegetable Garden?
However, great as the weather is down here, we’re starting into what you American Colonials would quaintly refer to as “The Fall” (Autumn), and the rain can be a bit unpredictable, so there is always a fallback plan. If it rains on the Saturday, the concert is moved to the Sunday (The Rain Day). If it rains on the Rain Day, it moves indoors, to a pre-booked concert hall.
Horror of horrors, it rained on Saturday, AND even heavier rain was forecast for the Rain Day, so we moved indoors.
We still had our little picnic bags issued. They contained:
An apple
A plastic box of tuna pasta salad (quite tasty actually, just needed a little more seasoning)
A bread roll with butter
A piece of ginger icing covered shortbread
A very short plastic fork
A plastic wineglass.
NOTE: No bloody napkins/serviettes
Plus 2 little bottles of wine
After we picked up our “picnics” we meandered toward the auditorium doors, and just outside we were offered….
Guess.
You’ll never believe in a hundred years what was in huge boxes outside each doorway.
Give up?
Remember this was a classical music concert, with Operatic Arias, excerpts from Elgar, Berlioz, and Vivaldi and concluding with Tchaikovsky’s 1812. Sans cannon seeing it was indoors (more on this later)
They were offering us free EAR PLUGS. (Pura-Fit, by Moldex)
Why in the name of the God (which probably doesn’t exist), did they offer us free earplugs before going into a classical concert.
I could understand it if it was a Heavy Metal Concert, or a Steaming Hot Rock Concert, or even a Country Music Concert, but a Classical Music Concert?
Why?
Especially as the cannons were no longer being used. The conductor explained that due to Health and Safety considerations, the cannons were out, but would be replaced by a guy (an experienced percussionist) on a very big bass drum.
To be fair, the guy gave it his all. The first “cannon” sequence went OK, the drum “booms” easily audible over the excellently performed symphony, but as the guy wound up for the start of the second sequence, things went a bit wrong.
He hit the drum OK, but he expended so much effort on the blow, he lost his grip on the big padded drum stick, and it rebounded off the drum and flew over his right ear and went whistling over the assistant percussionist’s (concentrating on the tubular bells) head.
General laughter, with an occasional giggle.
Much hilarity.
But I still cannot begin to explain the earplugs.
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Interesting.
Surely those little foam thingies were not meant as EAR plugs at a Classical concert no less!
It is my opinion that the organizers were using what they had on hand to enhance the comfort of those who did not wish to miss out on the experience by slipping off to the loo. Yes, I’m betting that those are URETHRA plugs.
You’re welcome.
Wine? They gave you wine? How cool!
Are you sure he wasn’t trying to pull a Keith Moon?
. . . or Fred Dagg maybe . . .
Complete with amusement and laughter…all in all it sounds like a good time was had by all 🙂
Except of course for the lack of napkins.