About Tamra White
Tamra has a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor for Texas. She has a private practice, which offers traditional and online counseling. You can learn more about Tamra at TWhitecounseling.com
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My four year-old is crazy – Emma has taught me things university did not
As a child psychologist, I often work ‘by the book’ – especially in child rearing and discipline. Additionally, I have raised a 17 and 15 year old, and survived – still with blonde hair (well, with the help of my salon).
The point is, I am licensed, and have the ‘skills’ necessary to keep my practice thriving and resourceful. Why then, is it, that my 4 year-old has basically taught me the most necessary tools? Emma is in fact, crazy. She is silly, hyper, wild, busy, and delightful. She dances at the most inopportune times. She also has a most evolved insight into real world problems. Yet, unlike many of us that offer to share our dilemmas, she also provides solutions. In my real world, my crazy 4 year-old has taught me several things that my eight years of college and post doctorate have not:
Who you calling crazy?
Eight crazy things
“It looks like a snake because it is a snake, duh.” – My interpretation . . . Sometimes, it simply is what it is… Not everything requires deep insight and analytical thought. Reading the ‘meaning’ of things may be far too ambitious than what is actually required. It is quite possible that what you see is nothing more than what you see. Then again, if you are at the zoo, and the pretty colored reptile looks like a snake, it probably is.
“Who put the milk in the refrigerator?” – Understandably, an odd question for a toddler . . . however, Crazy Emma has this thing about luke-warm milk, so we are not to put her glass in the fridge to ‘save’ – ever. This insightful message to me, translates to, ‘Who puts your milk in the refrigerator?’ – Meaning, so many times, we care about what everyone thinks about how we are living our lives, but much more about raising our children. But when you come right down to it, WHO is actually providing, hence, putting milk in your refrigerator’? Where are all those ‘innocent’ opinionated people when it comes time to feeding, bathing, and caring for your children? You know better. Trust that.
You can’t fix this crazy thing.” – Kettle, this is pot . . . Oh, if only my daughter believed that I really could fix her ‘crazy’ meowing toy cat that randomly hisses in the middle of the night. But alas, my learning experience in this: You can’t fix crazy. Period.
“Play it out” – Yes, we commonly know this to be the cliché, ‘let it play out.’, however, ole wise, crazy girl states that if you play your energy until it’s out, you will then be normal. Hmmmmm, let’s just say, I mildly rephrased her meaning to encompass a mentality of playing it out, to enjoy the moment. Life, after all, happens without our permission. Run with it when you can . . . and play.
“Is that a good idea”? – This question is the question/phrase of the week. It requires reassurance, forethought, and kudos. I will keep Emma’s phrase on this one, because after all, (as number 2 teaches, ‘it is what it is’). Think it through. Is it good, bad, or indifferent? Interesting how that simple question could change our lives.
“Look into the giraffe’s eyes” – Okay, this one seems a bit deep. This lesson is of empathy. Toys R Us sold this mother a 35 dollar, mother and daughter pair, because if you look into the eyes of the mama giraffe, you couldn’t possibly leave it without the baby. Empathy: putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. How would you then react?
“Who wants cake if you can’t eat it?” – This simply made me laugh, and yet resonated with such insight. Emma heard this on a commercial, and asked why would someone want cake if they weren’t allowed to eat it? True, little one. Good point. Go for it. Set your sites on something, don’t settle. Win. (duhhhh. Charlie Sheen) and finally:
“I wished on the brightest star . . . ” Emma, you crazy girl, you are on the money. Dream your dreams, set your goals, keep your positive thoughts, dance, and keep on wishing.