Parenting: Is raising an overweight child abuse or bliss?

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Parenting – Everyone seems to be an expert

Watching the Today Show, which has become my grown-up mainstay, I am often annoyed, yet intrigued by the segments on parenting.

 parenting and overweight children

They seem overwhelmingly dictated by parenting commonsense . . . who the heck is paying big money to New York therapists to tell us to ‘speak with love’ to our kids? I digress (probably from jealousy as my $120 an hour rate fails in comparison). Back to ‘Today’ – ‘today’ the therapists are discussing the severe detrimental implications that the new Skechers shoe commercial has on our young girls. It apparently shows little girls jumping rope, running, and eating healthy snacks . . . all the while, ‘toning’ their, ummm, ‘buttocks’ like the adult version of their mommy’s toning shoes.

What a travesty! How dare we engage our children in outside activities under the premise of ‘exercise?’ (I do hope the sarcasm is bleeding through). The therapists state that our young girls are trying too hard to emulate the fantasy of perfection and beauty and unattainable svelteness. Wow. Really?

Dr. Oz, parenting and an overweight child

This same day, I see a Dr. Oz episode in which the debate is whether or not having an overweight child should be classified as abuse. How do we win here? Our President’s wife is imploring our schools to get rid of vending machines and to do a better job of regulating healthy lunch menus. Heck, Heinz ketchup was the first to give in to the ‘less sugar’ mentality to heal childhood obesity.

So, here I am, wondering how we got to the point to where our children are chastised for eating twinkies, candy bars, and happy meals – and more so, how we as parents should not encourage ‘skipping rope’, nor indulging in sugary fun.

I, for one, appreciate the job security that this provides my child/adolescent psychology practice . . . and so does my sweet, sugar lovin’, exercise hatin’, ROUND four year-old. Round is a shape, after all.

Parenting is a journey of exploration.

 

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About Post Author

Tamra White

Tamra has a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor for Texas. She has a private practice, which offers traditional and online counseling. You can learn more about Tamra at TWhitecounseling.com
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12 years ago

Welcome to MMA Tamra.

Looking forward to reading more.

Alysia Hoback
12 years ago

Welcome Tamara to the crazy world of MMA! I am excited to read your articles; your expertise will defiantly bring a great new edge.

I was very overweight as a kid/teenager living on my family farm. I grew up in a culture where meat and potatoes are not a food option, but a lifestyle. And, being the only family member without a monstrous metabolism, I defiantly hated looking in the mirror or at the scale. When I was 16 my love for animals converted me to what I call a “poorly managed vegetarian.” A diet of potatoes, bread, and sweets did not exactly offer me optimal nutrition, but it was all we ate. I never took the time to educate myself on proper nutrition, and my parents didn’t exactly take on the initiative to ensure my objectionable “lifestyle choice” was a healthy one.

I am starting to see the similarity between my story and America’s. My mom had no idea what to feed a vegetarian, had little to no education on proper nutrition and that is why I juggled a heavy weight. I think that our focus should not be depriving youngsters of treats, but giving them and their parents the tools to guarantee success. That way we can stop looking at the scale and start looking at the child and ensuring that they have the tools to be healthy.

Not only that, but our system is set up to fail us and your children. You can buy way more unhealthy food for a dollar then you ever can healthy. We need a better system in place that makes healthy food affordable to lower income families.

Also, I feel that this new “weight crisis” is linked to poor body image. All I know is that the worse I felt about myself, the more I ate and this seems to be the case for many. If your beautifully round child can love themselves for who they are and just focus on their health, I think that this is way to beat childhood obesity. Because you have to admit that most people we see in the magazines are not healthy, they are border line anorexic, and kids and mothers need to have an understanding of that. So I honestly believe education, affordable healthy food, and an overall better body image is the way to beat this crisis.

12 years ago

So great to be welcomed! I do realize that talking about weight, whether four or forty-four, will spark interest. I think health is the priority, far above social status. I have seen this both ways…. my mother is a diabetic, and my children are ‘active’ – The magazine covers, however, do neither my children nor my mother justice. 😉

12 years ago

With diabetes on the rampant increase, we’d better teach our children to eat well and exercise. Too bad my parents didn’t teach me about healthy eating as a child. As a result, I have diabetes, type 2 but needing insulin, under control. I’m 62 and give myself injections 2 to 3 times a day depending on what I eat. I’m only about 15 pounds overweight, but I’m active. No fun taking injections. Better to upset your children now than have them live with diabetes which can lead to some pretty horrific debilitating side effects. Stop spoiling your kids!

greenlight
12 years ago

Welcome to MMA, Tamra! What a great post to kick things off!

I agree that there’s too much common sense being “sold” on TV nowadays. I have to say that I do find the Skechers thing a bit “sketchy”–when my stepdaughter was only 7, I remember her not wanting to go to Walmart–in a town where she didn’t know anyone–because she didn’t like the way she was dressed, and “what if somebody sees me like this?!” Heaven forbid she start obsessing about her rear. Regardless of the shoe design, though…so long as our kids consistently receive messages valuing both a healthy lifestyle and self-acceptance (“talk to them with love”–I learned that from the Today Show! :)), parents and the media could really stand to benefit from cutting with the obsession over these types of topics.

Great commentary!

psychedelikrelik
12 years ago

My daughter was born weighing nine-and-a-half pounds. She was consistently off the charts on both height and weight. Her doctor would tell me to watch what she eats and don’t give her desserts.

Luckily, she loved veggies. She also loved OTHER things. When she was six, I found she had added two columns of the word “candy” to my shopping list. Ask her what she had for lunch at school…”pizza.” The next day…”pizza.” Then…”pizza and fries.”

Too much control, too little control, you can’t control it all, and I don’t believe you should. A parent’s job is to give their child the tools s/he needs to be successful in life. In my home, that meant encouraging, but not obsessing over, a healthy diet and healthy exercise.

Today, my girl is 6’1″ and 160#. She is a college senior and just played her fourth and final year of NCAA basketball.

Balance. Moderation. Common sense.

12 years ago

Well said, Tamra. I have found parenting to be as richly rewarding as it is thankless.

Jim22
12 years ago

Sorry but I think parents need to be more careful about what and how much they feed their kids and how much exercise they get. Fat now could equal dead tomorrow.

Admin
12 years ago

Welcome to the team Tamra!!!! Don’t forget to share your post on FB, Twitter, and etc. Enjoy!

jenny40
12 years ago

Oh boy a new writer! Welcome to the madhouse Tamra. I happen to agree with you by the way. My youngest is a little on the chubby side, but he is active and happy. I am very careful that he eats right and gets plenty of exercise but he is about 10 pounds over.

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