12 Questions a Dog Would Ask God

A dog sends a letter to God

Dear God:  Is it on purpose that our
names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:  When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch?  Or will it be the same old story?

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God:  More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.

Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God:  Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s
underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7.  Sticking my nose into someone’s
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand
straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house – not after.
10. The cat is not a squeaky toy.
The cat is not a squeaky toy.
The cat is not a squeaky toy.

P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
can I be unspayed?

About Post Author

Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.

professormike05@gmail.com

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