12 Questions a Dog Would Ask God
A dog sends a letter to God
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
names are the same, only reversed?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s
underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand
straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house – not after.
10. The cat is not a squeaky toy.
The cat is not a squeaky toy.
The cat is not a squeaky toy.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
can I be unspayed?
About Post Author
Professor Mike
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Oh that is so darling!
All I can say about smelling other humans is some don’t…ah…bathe on a regular basis…so…yuk.
And the barking issue…dogs aren’t “bad” their owners are! An owner that permits its dog to bark nonstop is irresponsible and inconsiderate of others. My pet(no pun) peeve!
I’m with you 100% Pam!!
Irresponsible and inconsiderate of others, yes. They’re also neglecting and/or not meeting the needs of their dog; which I consider a much worse crime.
Thoughtful questions from the doggie. Wonder what answers the Ceiling Cat would give him?
This is so funny and warm, it makes me picture that pup writing that letter. Thanks a lot.