Chicago Cubs remind me of beautiful women with one drawback

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The Chicago Cubs are like my

High School Sweetheart

Hot and Bitchy

Alright already. I admit it. I’m a Cubs fan. And the headline should explain why. We can put up with tons of bitchery if the chick is hot. And for some reason, we find the Cubs “hot.”

I blame much of this on former Cubs announcer Harry Carey. Wrigleyville sucked until Harry Carey convinced us it was cool. Remember 1984? The Cubs were on their way. Successful baseball GM and field manager Dallas Green took over. Brought in successful manager Jim Frey from the Royals. Got pitcher Rick Sutcliffe who had a Cy Young winning year. Had the best year ever from the goofy pitcher Steve Trout. Lee Smith was closing games with ease. Scott Sanderson’s back didn’t hurt. Ryne Sandburg blossomed into the best player in the land. Dernier was stealing bases and Leon Durham and Jody Davis were hitting homers and Keith Moreland was getting big RBI’s.

chicago cubsShe loves me . . .

The Cubs bitchiness is never far away

God they were hot. Yet we knew underneath, the bitch lurked. She reared her ugly head in San Diego when Frey mismanaged game 5 and left Sutcliffe in too long. Sutcliffe was stalling all he could. Walking around. Tying his shoes. Doing whatever it took to keep the bitch at bay. But she came. She came in the form of Steve Garvey. Great guy but ugly woman. Garvey homered and once again the Cubs disappointed. They sucked till 1989 when once again, after a great season of hotness and no bitchness, she came back in the form of Will Clark who hit homers at will.

We know she’s in there. Yet we still go back. And she waits. Sometimes she appears early, like this year. Poor Mike Quade. He’s feeling the bitch this year. Last year he was appointed interim manager and the Cubs played inspired ball. This year they suck and too many times his managerial decisions have sucked. He started a rookie at first base in a game when the rookie had never played first in his life. Cubs color man Bob Brenly even questioned that decision. Brenly’s been around the game a long time.  Knows his stuff.  Knows the bitch when he sees her.

I was just watching the Cubs/Pirates game and a few minutes ago Quade took Ryan Dempster out after the sixth inning and Cubs leading 5 -2. Dempster ripped Quade in the dugout and on camera. Dempster knows the bitch. The bitch is early this year.

The one guy laughing at all this is Ryne Sandburg. Most people, me included, thought Sandburg deserved the manager’s job that Quade got. Sandburg’s in Philadelphia now. A city with great steak sandwiches and a team that knows how to deal with bitches.  They sign great pitchers and don’t re-sign mediocre players. Maybe one day the Cubs will figure that out.

chicago cubsShe loves me not

The opinions expressed by our writers do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of MadMikesAmerica. We do, however, welcome free speech and healthy debate on all topics. Especially when it comes to the Chicago Cubs.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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12 years ago

When you love a team, falling out of love is impossible, you can’t break-up, you are doomed.

12 years ago

On the plus side, it looks like the Cubs are actually manufacturing runs. After a century of standing around waiting for the wind to be right for a 3-run homer, it’s refreshing to see.

I hope it bodes well for the future, but you’re right, the bitch will find a way.

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