Man quits booze without Jesus!!

Read Time:1 Minute, 3 Second

In the Windy City alcohol is a great temptation yet one of its stalwart citizens managed to dump the demon rum without having to bend a knee to old Jesus

jesus

Despite a lack of divine intervention by the Son of God, meaning Jesus for you uninformed infidels,  or any other higher power, area man Tom Wendt has somehow managed to overcome his alcoholism, sources confirmed Friday. “It was causing so many problems at work and with my family that I decided to stop drinking before it ruined my life,” said Wendt, who credited his own willpower, a desire to better himself as a human being, and not Jesus Christ for the otherwise inexplicable recovery. “It hasn’t been easy, but I took a hard look at myself and made some important lifestyle changes. I’m sober almost three months now, and I never could have done it without [wife and non-supernatural-entity] Susan.” Reached for comment, Wendt’s aunt Clara, who spent years praying for her nephew, remained steadfast in her insistence that Jesus most likely had something to do with it.  Praise the Lord and pass the Jack….

Ed. Note: Vidalia onions don’t make you cry so hard so we thank them for their help with the slicing and dicing of this story.

About Post Author

Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.
Happy
Happy
0 %
Sad
Sad
0 %
Excited
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
Angry
0 %
Surprise
Surprise
0 %
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of

2 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Centerman
12 years ago

Why I just don’t see how that’s possible. How can we do anything without Jeezus? *sarcasm*

Previous post Critter talk: Training your puppy is an art….
Next post Commentary: The Two Faces of Barack Obama
2
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x