News of the Weird

There’s some WEIRD News Out There

We scoured cyberspace for some weird news.

Let’s investigate our weird world. There are reams of bizarre, seemingly unreal occurrences. But odd things happen. Here’s a few examples.

Pair in hospital after Kismot ‘killer’ curry contest

There is an old joke about an outsider being roped in to helping judge a Texas chile contest. He suffers through the seven levels of chile hell before finally ending up with his mouth numb and his taste buds completely burned out on a “passably hot” chile. Well, this one is no joke for the contestants on St Leonards Street, Edinburgh, Scotland, who reached for the prize.

Emergency services were called to the Kismot restaurant in on Saturday afternoon after some competitors became “very unwell”. The competition involves people eating the “Kismot Killer” curry.

What’s The Loss Of Your Hair Worth?

Troy Polamalu (Pittsburgh Steelers) has gotten his long, flowing black hair that tumbles out of his helmet and down his back—it’s nearly three feet long—been insured for $1 million by Head and Shoulders, the shampoo brand that is endorsed by the Pittsburgh Steelers safety. The insurance is covered by Lloyd’s of London and was purchased by shampoo brand Head and Shoulders.

Art4God

Jesus laments that a container ship from Taiwan lost a bunch of toys overboard.

Is this dog weird, or just smart?

Das Kapital, the Musical

This proposed weird musical is from China. Here’s the thrilling plot:

In the first half of the story, the employees discover that their boss is exploiting them and learn of the “surplus theory of value.” However, they react differently to the knowledge of their exploitation: some are willing to be exploited by the company, and the tighter they are squeezed, the more they feel they are worth. Others rise in mutiny, but this ruins the company and leaves them out of work. Still others band together and use their collective wisdom to deal with the boss.

Here’s more weird script proposals:

• Thalidomide, the Musical
• The Elements of Style (an opera based on the Strunk & White style guide)
• Fight Club, the Musical
• Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus (the musical)
• An unconfirmed musical based on the Labour Party’s 1997 election manifesto
• Menopause, the Musical
• The Diary of Anne Frank, the Musical
• Evil Dead, the Musical
• The Fly (an opera based on David Cronenberg’s 1986 movie)
• Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical
• An Inconvenient Truth (an opera based on Al Gore’s film and book)
• Jerry Springer: The Opera

Magic Eraser For Bad Memories

Another weird but true story. A brain chemical has been identified that reduces stressful memories. In a recent study mice were made genetically unable to produce the protein lipocalin-2. The mice were more strongly affected by stress. The possibility of a drug that dulls painful memories stands on the horizon. The discovery may be paved with good intentions—just like another road we’ve heard of.

Your Daily Loser

Marckenly Estima, 23, an enterprising rapper in Port St. Lucie, Fla., wanted police cars in the background of his new video, and he and his cameraman were chatting it up with officers in the parking lot of the police station when the cops ran his name through the computer and found a warrant for skipping out on a trial.

Defense Mechanisms

Serious weird animal behavior.

Camponotus Saundersi, a species of Malaysian ant, can cause itself to explode at will. It does so by contracting its abdominal muscles, which ruptures its body and sprays poison in all directions.

A horned lizard found in the southwest United States increases the pressure in its sinus cavities when threatened until the blood vessels in the corners of its eyes burst. This causes blood to squirt at its attacker. This evolution developed to deter coyotes. Apparently it works.

Weird, but Interesting, Food News

Dr. Peter Eisner of the Fraunhofer Institute is concerned that meat consumption is unhealthy and bad for the environment. He is seeking ways to supplement or replace animal products with vegetable equivalents. His first success is a milk substitute derived from lupin beans—the substance is even good to make cheese. Co-worker Daniela Sussmann extracted a protein from lupin seeds that will give gives low-fat sausages more of the sensation of their unadulterated competition. Eisner reckons that our ever growing appetite for meat could one day be disastrous: the resources needed to produce 1 kilo of meat could instead yield 80 to 100 kilos of fruit or vegetables. [This is not weird, but it’s true.]

Science also threatens an end to one of the mainstays of comedy—the banana skin. Brazilian scientist Milena Boniolo was disgusted by the tons of banana skins discarded each week in her city. She decided to find a better use for them: Boniolo dries and grinds banana skins into powder that makes an excellent decontaminant for polluted water—a cheap and effective alternative to current industrial techniques like magnetic nanoparticles.

Yeast extract, once the waste product of beer manufacturers, then the main ingredient of spreads like Marmite, now may become the unlikely nemesis of the UK’s far-right British National Party (BNP). After the copying the Marmite brand’s “love it or hate it” slogan in their election campaign, and featuring a giant Marmite jar in a TV stunt, the BNP were sued for copyright infringement by brand owner Unilever. A reported out of court settlement of £170,000 ($260,000) may leave the party bankrupt.

Bacon is weird. Here’s a double helping.

• A KFC employee from Sydney in Australia, attacked a customer for demanding a slice of bacon with their burger: but the customer was in one of the chain’s Halal-friendly (Kosher) outlets. There is normally no bacon on the premises

• Japan has introduced a meat processing robot able to de-bone up to 500 hams per hour.

Would You Like A Sample?

A New Mexico man has plead guilty to giving a woman shopper at the store where he was employed a semen tainted yogurt sample. Unfortunately for the man his target recognized the non-yogurt flavor, spit the stuff out on the floor and called police. Police collected the yogurt mixture the woman spit out as well as a piece of her clothing that she wiped her mouth on. Both tested positive for semen and the DNA was a match to the worker as well.

Mad Mike’s America thanks Weird Universe.

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