To our love
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Today is Valentine’s Day. While it has held little meaning for us and, for the most part, still does not, we wanted to take this opportunity to thank someone.
For nearly two years now, we have been in a relationship with someone whom I could never thank enough. Someone who is everything we had ever hoped for in someone and more. Someone who cares about us each individually. Someone who can truly understand us all. For she too, is one of many.
We don’t know exactly how this happened, but we were both drawn to one another. We understand that DID is rare to begin with, but it is not unheard of for two with it to find themselves together. While often this is through a community, we did so out of pure chance.
We can honestly say that we love all of hers completely and quite a few of ours have developed singular relationships between themselves that do not extend to the rest. Sometimes this is romantic, other times it is like the love a parent has for a child, yet other times it is the love that develops between two long time friends. The way we connect is, simply put, astounding.
We wish that we could go into details about things, but for various reasons, we cannot. But we will say that our love for them is one that binds us together closer than anything has before.
So to Kittie and hers, we want to say to all of you and to the world how much we love all of you. We cannot even imagine a life without you as all of you are our lives. Even after two years, the sound of hearing you say “I love you” still makes the one you are telling it to happy. Often stupidly happy, as if we are hearing it for the first time. To all of you, you are our everything.
You grant us comfort and safety when we are scared. You show us love and compassion when we doubt ourselves. You grant us a witty bantering partner and someone to bounce our ideas off of. You grant us deep insights and a multitude of laughs. You show us patience when we are difficult and are strong when faced with our pain. You give us a reason to be more, to better ourselves at every turn.
Your beauty is unparalleled, your minds, without equal. We will forever be yours, and you, ours. We shall love and care for all of you until we can no longer draw breath. We shall be your companion, your guardian, your child. We shall put your fears to rest so you might sleep and we shall stand beside you through every hardship. We shall read you your bedtime stories and hold you close in the night. We shall have absurdities beyond compare and relish every one of them. We will get lost in our play and one another’s eyes. We shall protect you and listen to your words of wisdom. We shall lose ourselves to our need for your touch
We shall continue to try to find a meme you have yet to know (though that may never happen). We shall search out new prehistoric figurines for your collection. We shall keep the story of The Anenome and the Octopus close at hand for when your younger cry and we shall sing them to sleep.
We shall continue to try and learn all we can about all of you. We shall do our best to listen and be there when you need us. We shall do all we can to hear the sound of happiness in your voice. We shall try our best to improve, but please forgive is when we fail. We might not always know what to do and may even make things worse at times, but we shall always be here for you. We shall always love you, no matter what the future may bring. We want you to know that we shall forever be here for all of you and there is not one of you we would ever wish to be without.
For you I shall post this video, one that has meant so much to us for so long. To everyone else who is reading this, I present you with our song, Illusion by VNV Nation, coupled with the digital art piece Dollface by Andy Huang.
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As thankful as we are for this… I can’t really say that I enjoy public things. But that makes me feel like the most spiteful person in the entire world. It was a lovely valentines gift, and I have such a wonderful fiancé.
And E.A, while I’m sorry for your loss, this is not a pity party, be thankful that you once had a wonderful woman to share your life with, and take her grave some flowers, tidy it up, and spend some time there. Death can either be the end of an era, or it can be a testament to that your love will last past life, and you will always love her memory, and the memories you have together.
Erin- That’s so lovely, it made me get a huge silly smile.
I was going to tell my wife I still loved her, but seeing as how she’s dead, she wasn’t listening. Graves aren’t very huggable, and all the blather that goes on for 14 February doesn’t help.
E.A., I’m sorry for your loss. 🙁
E.A-I spent a lot of Feb. 14’s alone. I decided to make every day about being kind and loving to someone, relationship or not. Funny thing: my mom died a little over 3 years ago, and my dad remarried. He went into a florist owned by long time friends of my step mom to buy her roses, and one of the owners came up to him with tears in his eyes and told my dad the “other guy” (her first husband) never bought her flowers. That made me so sad, that someone could be married for such a long time, and never do something a little extra.
If you have good memories of love and laughter and joy, hold those today and every day. Feb. 14th is really just another day, and all Bran was expressing in his article was how rare it is for people with DID to find each other. Peace.
Sorry man….
I am sorry E.A., it was not my intention to make things any more difficult for you or anyone else.
Truth be told, the whole reason for this post wasn’t to get across the idea that a relationship with two with DID is rare, though it is, but as a gift to her.
I am not really able to afford much and we are separated by a rather vast distance. I wasn’t able to do much for her and hers, but I wanted to at least do this for her.
Perhaps it would have meant more if it were just an email to her, and perhaps it would not have caused such hardships for such as yourself if I had. But I wanted her to know that my love for her is a part of my life, all parts of it. Some might see this as selfish, and maybe it is. But I cannot help doing so and far too many of us agreed with this to not do it.
We might not be able to give her and her’s much, we might not be financially well off and we might be a bit unstable at times. But we can offer her our love.
That was all I was trying to get across with this article. Again, I am sorry if it made things more difficult for you in any way.
Beautiful song and beautiful sentiments–Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Kittie!