- CRITTER TALK
Here are just a few juicy tidbits from the Holy Book:
It always amazes me how many times this God orders the killing of innocent people even after the Ten Commandments said “Thou shall not kill”. Lets look at 1 Chronicles 21:9-14 where God kills 70,000 men…over a census. Ever read Deuteronomy 3:1-7? “So the LORD our God handed King Og and all his people over to us, and we killed them all. We conquered all sixty of his towns, the entire Argob region in his kingdom of Bashan. These were all fortified cities with high walls and barred gates. We also took many unwalled villages at the same time. We completely destroyed the kingdom of Bashan, just as we had destroyed King Sihon of Heshbon. We destroyed all the people in every town we conquered – men, women, and children alike. But we kept all the livestock for ourselves and took plunder from all the towns.” Great reading, huh? Just about every other page in the Old Testament has God killing somebody! In total God kills 371,186 people directly and orders another 1,862,265 people murdered.
The God of the Bible also allows slavery, including selling your own daughter as a sex slave, “When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl’s owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment” Exodus 21:7-11. I would no more sell my daughters as sex slaves than I would cut off my privates, “For there are eunuchs, that were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are eunuchs, that were made eunuchs by men: and there are eunuchs, that made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” Matthew 19:12. According to the Bible, you need to cut off your willie in order to get to heaven.
Leviticus is a stern Bastard. According to Leviticus, you don’t let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle, don’t have a variety of crops on the same field and don’t wear clothes made of more than one fabric, Leviticus 19:19. Also, Leviticus says you are not allowed to cut your hair or shave, Leviticus 19:27.
Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed, If a man cheats on his wife, or vise versa, both the man and the woman must die. If a man sleeps with his father’s wife… both him and his father’s wife is to be put to death. If a man sleeps with his wife and her mother they are all to be burnt to death. If a man or woman has sex with an animal, both human and animal must be killed. If a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be “cut off from their people” (Leviticus 20:9-18). People who have flat noses, or is blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God (Leviticus 21:17-18). Anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community. (Leviticus 24:14-16). Who is this guy and why is he such a sadist?
The Bible is clear about rape, it condones it. Judges 21:10-24 “So they sent twelve thousand warriors to Jabesh-gilead with orders to kill everyone there, including women and children. “This is what you are to do,” they said. “Completely destroy all the males and every woman who is not a virgin.” Among the residents of Jabesh-gilead they found four hundred young virgins who had never slept with a man, and they brought them to the camp at Shiloh in the land of Canaan…“Go and hide in the vineyards. When the women of Shiloh come out for their dances, rush out from the vineyards, and each of you can take one of them home to be your wife! And when their fathers and brothers come to us in protest, we will tell them, ‘Please be understanding. Let them have your daughters, for we didn’t find enough wives for them when we destroyed Jabesh-gilead. And you are not guilty of breaking the vow since you did not give your daughters in marriage to them.'” So the men of Benjamin did as they were told. They kidnapped the women who took part in the celebration and carried them off to the land of their own inheritance. Then they rebuilt their towns and lived in them. So the assembly of Israel departed by tribes and families, and they returned to their own homes.” It was obvious these women were repeatedly raped. The Laws of Rape are clear, “If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.” Deuteronomy 22:28-29. Like that will make her father feel better. However, ” If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife.” It is clear that God doesn’t give a damn about the rape victim. He is only concerned about the violation of another mans “property”.
So, in closing (I know, a bit long), when you hear someone trumpeting how we should live our lives according to the Bible, read it and ask your self if this is the way you want to live.
Many thanks to evilbible.com for their contributions to this story.Click here for reuse options!