Mittens Romney Booed at NAACP Convention
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Ah, friends. They pick you up when you’re blue, they make you laugh, they let you just be yourself. And sometimes, if you ask the right way, they write an article for you. Such is the case today.
As most of us know, Mittens “Cayman Islands” Romney dropped in on the NAACP convention Wednesday. He gave a speech, insulted President Obama, got booed and left. Anyone expecting something different must be from another planet. I asked my friends to give a punchline to “So, Mitt Romney walks into an NAACP convention,” and it was off to the races. Should have phrased that better.
My personal favorites are below. The top ten list was featured not only on Facebook but as part of a comment under an article on USA Today. I cannot find the original writer, but if this happens to be a leaked Top Ten List from Letterman, I apologize. I had no idea.
Becca: “I don’t follow the NAACP, but I have some great friends who own… wait… that was NASCAR.”
David: “Hi I’m Mitt….so glad to be here. I like it here, the blacks are all the right height. And I like cars, black cars. In fact my driver is black.”
Raine: “Hi I’m Mitt….so glad to be here. I like it here. The colored people are just the right color.”
Eden: The room erupts in both shouts of joy and comments like “shit I totally didn’t think he’d show” as money exchanges hands…..
Kona: ”Where’s all the white women?”
Larry: “Say brothers and sisters. I’ve come down here to let you know that all is not lost. In my administration negroes will be treated with the respect they deserve. No longer will I allow anyone to call a grown man a boy again. No longer will I allow your women to be treated as Nubian sex objects. Even though I see a few out thare that I would would treat me right. Hello sista, we’ll rap later. I don’t won’t to confuse any of you, so, I’ll not discuss the economy or world relations. How about them Miami Heat Mo Fo’s…”
Michael: So a conservative, a moderate and a liberal walk into the NAACP convention and the crowd says, “Hi, Mitt.”
Linda: (awkward Mitt chuckle) “Hey, since you all can come to the Mormon temple now, I was hopin’ to invite you next week for some cheesy grits!”
Michael (with a hat tip to the original writer):
Top 10 Mitt Romney quotes from his NAACP speech
10. “Hey, I’m unemployed, just like you.”
9. “Anyone here into dressage?”
8. “I’ll bet you $10,000 that no one here has $10,000 on them.”
7. “How about those new Cadillacs?”
6. “I’ll be checking photo IDs on the way out of here. Just kidding.”
5. “A couple of my butlers are black too.”
4. “The trees in Harlem are just the right height.”
3.”Where I’m from Ice-T is a drink.”
2. “Seriously, my favorite sport is basketball.”
1. “You know, Obama’s mother was white.”
Let’s get serious for just a moment, shall we? This is a man who said in 2011 that he was “also unemployed.” His net worth is over $250 million. Yeah, I’ll take Romney unemployment forever, Alex. I’m super happy that someone in the GOP realized we have African Americans in America, and decided to go pander to talk to them, but Romney? He has no idea what it’s like to suffer discrimination, hardship or even a wee bit of suffering. He isn’t a self-made man. Sorry, he’s not. Let us remember how Romney struggled through college, shall we? He sold STOCK. He and his lovely wife (and I mean that, she is pretty) lived off stock dividends. From his father. Give me a break.
Got a better punchline? Think you could make coffee shoot out my nose? Give it a try, in the comments section. Again, no prize, just giggling.
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Well Erin, Michael’s comment made “Ice-T” shoot out of my nose. When I saw this story about Mitt, I too was thinking we are so “blessed” with creative writing opportunities from him 🙂 Good post.
Carol-I read that list and choked on lemonade. We cannot find the original author, but if they happen to read this-Well Done!
Nice to see Romney is also very much disliked here in Canada. Sort of reminds me of our conservative Prime Minister Harper. You know, anti-science, big corp. sort of guy! I really wish Americans would get a 3rd and 4th political party to sneer at. I’m tired of just attacking the stupid, right-wing, anti-education, misogynistic, bigoted, racist, fairy-tale-believing, and magic underwear types.
Hmm. You could laugh at…wow, that’s tough. The fringe that is the new GOP has pretty much adopted everyone who counts (flat earthers, birthers, creationists, white nationalists). RickRay, I wish I had a solution, but for now, I’ll keep poking Mittens. Not in the biblical sense, ew.