David, Jonathan, Ruth AND Naomi OH MY!

Read Time:5 Minute, 39 Second

I was having a really nice Saturday. The sun was out, my husband had trimmed the wild rose bushes in front of the house and presented me with a lovely bouquet for my desk, the cat had not vomited and my hair looked pretty good. Then I watched a video of Bryan Fischer.


For those of you lucky enough not to know who Bryan Fischer is, please forgive me for telling you. Bryan Fischer is the Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association. He’s a truly horrible person. He hates the LGBT community with a passion, promotes false science and just flat out lies about America, religion, minorities and women. Mr. Fischer’s quotes can frequently be found at the Southern Poverty Law Center’s website and also on Right Wing Watch. The AFA is listed by both these organizations as a hate group.

On September 6th, Bryan Fischer went on his radio program and spoke about comments many of us on the left have made regarding how far back in time the new GOP wants to take this country. Many think it’s 1950, others believe it’s 1850 while some of my friends are guessing 1350. We’re all wrong. According to Mr. Fischer, the far right wants to go all the way back to Genesis. The book in the bible, not the band.

Mr. Fischer as usual is super upset about marriage equality and those darn gays. He wants to go back to the book of Genesis because “God” designed marriage to be between a man and a woman, therefore, the entire flipping country has to be dragged by our hair into the pre-dark ages. Awesome, right? See, America “sheds innocent blood” (code for abortion) and “promotes sexual deviancy” (code for homosexuality), therefore we suck and “God” hates us. If we leap merrily backwards in time to a mythical story about 3 men and 1 woman populating the Earth, everything will be hunky dory.

The book of Genesis does include the following passage:

Genesis 2:24-Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (King James version)

Unfortunately, the book of Genesis also includes this little tidbit:

Genesis 4:19-And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.

Lemech did a naughty thing according to the website Biblos.com. Lemech was of the House of Cain, not to confused with the House of Chanel, and as everyone knows, ALL the descendants of Cain were horrible, nasty people because of that whole he killed his brother thing. Was Solomon horrible? David? Abraham? Nope, just Lemech, which is odd, since Solomon, David and Abraham all had multiple wives and concubines, but they were held up as heroes and prophets and just all around swell guys.

What I’d like to see is Bryan Fischer chat to his sheep about David and Jonathan, as written in the book of Samuel. Yeah, that David. David and Jonathan loved one another so deeply that they made a “covenant” with one another. From Religious Tolerance.org:

1 Samuel 18:1

“…Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself.” (NIV)

“…the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (KJV)

1 Samuel 18:3-4

“And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.” (NIV)

1 Samuel 18:20-21

“Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. ‘I will give her to him’, he thought, ‘so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him’. Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law” (NIV)

2 Samuel 1:26

“I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.”

1 Samuel 20:41

“After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with is face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together – but David wept the most.” (NIV)

Jonathan stripping down to nothing is extremely telling, as is Saul saying David had a second opportunity to be his son-in-law. There is also mention of Jonathan and David kissing, and, of course, 2 Samuel 1:26, where David mourns Jonathan by saying Jonathan’s love was “more wonderful than that of women.”

There’s also the relationship between Ruth and Naomi. Again from Religious Tolerance.org:

Ruth 1:16-17 and 2:10-11 describe their close friendship Perhaps the best known passage from this book is Ruth 1:16-17 which is often read out during either opposite-sex and same-sex marriage and union ceremonies:

“Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” (NIV)

Ruth 1:14, referring to the relationship between Ruth and Naomi, mentions that “Ruth clave onto her.” (KJV) The Hebrew word translated here as “clave” is identical to that used in the description of a heterosexual marriage in Genesis 2:24:

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (KJV)

Granted, these two relationships are not in the book of Genesis. However, Bryan Fischer’s statement about same sex marriage and the bible make it clear, he hasn’t a clue. All fundies do is use the bible to promote a myth that homosexuality is evil when their own book says it may not be. And what about all the other “abominations” in the bible: eating shellfish, shaving, letting a menstruating woman touch your furniture, children talking back to their parents? Those kids, according to the bible, are to be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 21, 18:21)

Come on, Mr. Fischer, either live it or don’t live it. But stop trying to force your bullshit on the rest of us.

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About Post Author

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is an avid underwater basket weaver, with a penchant for satire and the odd wombat reference.
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Scott Amundsen
11 years ago

You gotta admit the bastard has really cool hair though; sort of a retro Leslie Nielsen thing going on up there.

roflol ><

Reply to  Scott Amundsen
11 years ago

HAHA! He does, doesn’t he? I guess he needs the warmth since his brain is sooooo tiny.

Bill Formby
Reply to  Erin Nanasi
11 years ago

That isn’t hair. It is ice. Great post Erin.

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