Paul Ryan: Who’s the Bitch Now?

Okay, so who watched the vice-presidential debate last night? Please don’t tell me everybody was watching HONEY BOO-BOO again. Listen, I know all of you white people enjoy seeing how the other half lives, but in case you haven’t noticed, our country is in the middle of a pretty important election here. And no offense, but I don’t think low-information voters should be the ones to be the deciding factor. And if you watch HONEY BOO-BOO, you definitely fall into that category.

Like a lot of liberals, I admit that I wasn’t very fired up to watch the debate. Seeing President Obama take it on the chin last week after what should have been a blow-out for him was almost a soul-crushing experience. I mean, who takes a near-ten point lead in the polls and flushes it down the toilet in one night? I was so disgusted after his performance that even I was thinking of pulling a Stacey Dash.

AS IF!

Just kidding. The truth is, I still would have voted for Obama, but I would have felt like a college coed doing the morning after walk of shame when leaving my polling place. Let’s be honest- who WASN’T disappointed by Obama taking a dive? I was on Facebook the whole day, crowing about how Obama was gonna make Romney shit his magic underwear, and then after it was over, I had to listen to every republican asshat I know gloat like a bunch of hyenas on speed. It was humiliating. In writing my thoughts post-debate, I went so far as to concede the fact that Romney had won it. At the time, I was thinking, “Now I know how Stallone felt when Mr. T kicked his ass in ROCKY III.”

So again, you’ll understand why I wasn’t so hot to see Biden take on Ryan. I mean, let’s face it- people want to believe the lies that the Romney/Ryan ticket is selling. They wanna believe it so desperately because everybody wants a quick fix, and the truth is that there isn’t one. Four years is not enough clean up Bush’s mess. If anything, it will probably take longer. And when you add to the fact that President Obama has had to fight an uphill battle to get anything done, Hell, I wouldn’t want to run for a second term if I were him.

When the Biden/Ryan debate began, I watched with cautious anticipation. I guess I was worrying for nothing, because Joe came out swinging from out of the gate. When discussing Iran, Paul Ryan argued that we needed to take military action so we could show our allies that we could strike from a position of strength because the Iranians were on the verge of having nuclear capability. Biden slapped him down and said that they weren’t anywhere close to that. I mean, seriously- do we need to get into ANOTHER war in the middle east? Ryan is just playing the fear card like Chaney did back in 2004.

I nearly gagged with laughter when Ryan started talking about bi-partisanship. WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ABOUT BI-PARTISANSHIP? Ryan, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, and Eric Cantor (among other high-ranking republican scumbags) went so far as to go on record as saying that they had no intention of working with President Obama, saying that their goal for the next four years of his administration would be spent by them trying to deny him a second term. That’s a fact. Paul Ryan would sooner go bi-sexual than be bi-partisan.

On the matter of abortion, Paul Ryan says that he is against it, but is okay with it in cases of rape, incest, or if the health of the mother is in danger. Really? He didn’t seem to have that opinion when he co-sponsored a bill with Todd ‘Mr. Legitimate Rape’ Akin that would have re-defined rape as ‘forcible’ rape, which is pretty stupid when you think about it. What other kind of rape could there be if it’s not forced? Name one woman who walks out naked onto the street and screams, “I WANT TO BE RAPED!” Beyond that, if he’s such a devout Catholic, why should he be able to pick and choose who gets an abortion, no matter what the circumstance may be? According to his tiny mind, isn’t all forms of abortion bad? Somebody please explain his flawed logic to me.

I have to give it to Joe Biden- he made Paul Ryan his bitch and didn’t let up for a second. And you could tell Ryan wasn’t dealing with it very well. He was sipping so much water in-between breaks that I’m sure he wet his pants at some point. When asked for specifics on Romney’s economic plans, he couldn’t provide any whatsoever. Seriously, how do you expect people to trust you when you can’t explain your policies? I get the feeling that all the republicans know how to do is point fingers, avoid direct questions, and lie their asses off.

That being the case, I really have to ask this of everyone who is thinking of voting for Mitt Romney- Is this really who you want? Is this the kind of change you think we need? I guarantee you, Mitt Romney will destroy what’s left of our economy. Think about this, and I mean, REALLY take the time to think about this- Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan want to take us back to a period of government that was corrupt in every way possible, and then have the nerve to say that everything they did was in our ‘best interest’. Are you really so foolish?

If so, when you cast your ballot on November the 6th, I hope you can live with the consequences,  because I’m telling you right now, I’m going to sit back and laugh when you get fucked.

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