In point of fact I am a fan of vampire movies, and loved the one about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire hunter! Remember the old “Hammer Films,” and their cool vampires? Christopher Lee was the best. Also, how about 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and starring Gay Oldman as a seriously cool but rather sad Dracula? I must have watched that 20 times.
That being said the treacly teenage mess that’s been the hallmark of the Twilight movie series now has a stake through its heart, as the last of these nonsensical films, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2, opens today. I hope they remember to cut off its head so it can’t rise again.
(Newser) Today’s premiere of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 brings with it one piece of good news for critics who have had to review the whole thing: That’s it for the Twilight saga … unless, of course, Stephenie Meyer writes more books. Some of the best lines floating around the Web today:
- “This is it people, the long awaited day that Stephanie Meyer’s asinine chronicle of lame vampires, talking CGI werewolves, and the single worst female protagonist in all of fiction comes to a close,” writes Nick Spake in the East Valley Tribune.
- “The Twilight franchise has overstayed its welcome,” declares Dana Stevens in Slate. “The film’s endlessly drawn-out ending, with its multiple spoken and written iterations of the book’s last word, ‘forever’ … may be the scariest moment in the whole pulpy yet vital Twilight series.”
- “The symptoms of our long national nightmare should begin to fade as you’re heading out of the theater, dissipating by the time you clear the concession stand,” writes Michael O’Sullivan in the Washington Post.
- “Breaking Dawn, Part 2 doesn’t end the series on an especially strong note, but it ends it. Let’s count our blessings,” suggests Colin Covert in the Star Tribune.
- Writing for Rolling Stone, Peter Travers is ecstatic. “It’s Dead! It’s Dead! By which I mean, It’s Finished! It’s Finished! Five movies have been squeezed out of four Stephenie Meyer Twilight books. All of them redefining cinematic tedium for a new century. And now, It’s Over! It’s Over! No more Twilight movies EVER!”
- Writing in the Detroit News, Adam Graham sums things up: “Good riddance Twilight, may it be an eternity before you’re relaunched or rebooted.”
Now I suspect my beautiful niece and probably some of my granddaughters will be upset by this piece, but they’ll get over it when Christmas rolls around and those presents come rolling in. Sorry guys. No Twilight movie DVD’s.