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J. Bado

J. Bado drinks Kamchatka vodka and writes essays about the idiocy of existence. You can subscribe to it by emailing mrloser82@gmail.com.
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Dave Wren
11 years ago

This is perfect, funny, in a sad way, but it speaks to the larger problem and a great solution. Good stuff man.

11 years ago

I was a nurse for many years. The most negative experience I had was caring for a man who tried to blow his brains out and missed. We named him the patient with no face: no eyes, ears, mouth, nose….nothing. His brain was intact, but he had no face and no senses. Two nurses and a doctor fainted the first time they removed his bandage for treatment. I was there and made it through, but can still see that image today. He didn’t kill himself, but he sure negatively impacted a lot of caregivers…from what we could tell, he was not a nice man. “Oddly” enough, his family didn’t want anything to do with him. He “lived” with us at that hospital for about a year until we could find him placement back in his country of origin…England. So, I vote let’s just get rid of the guns!

11 years ago

Wonderful Mad Mike! I laughed… I cried… Oh, one thing though. I read somewhere that a huge number of suicides fail when the nut-job uses the oral method. The bullet passes through the back of the throat, blowing the spinal cord to hell, and leaving him paralyzed and a burden on the taxpayer. Apparently, the new expert advice on the subject is to hold the gun on the top of your head with the barrel facing straight down. They suggest using your thumb to pull the trigger. Just an FYI.

Reply to  bitcodavid
11 years ago

Lol..thanks David. I’ll be sure to pass this on 🙂

Bill Formby
11 years ago

Good idea. However, the nuts want to be remembered. May I suggest that we offer a memorial for the nuts who choose to take themselves out before taking anyone else out with them.

Reply to  Bill Formby
11 years ago

Y’know? That just might be the best idea I’ve ever heard. You could add the incentive of extra effort and expense.

“Why waste all those bullets, and take all that time and trouble just to die in ignominy? Kill yourself first, and live forever in a beautiful stone memorial. Kids will play, puppies will frolic and young lovers will romance – all at the site of your beautiful custom monument. Hurry, sign up today.”

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