Wayne LaPierre Wants to Put Armed NRA Members in Schools

About Gregory B. Gonzalez
Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
View all posts by Gregory B. Gonzalez →

I’ll be perfectly honest with you guys. After the 2012 election, I wanted to take a break from writing about politics. With every word I wrote in regard to the disgusting tactics of the Republican party, I was beginning to feel that my soul had turned black. I was more than happy to do nothing at MadMike’sAmerica other than writing film reviews and telling funny stories. But then some nutjob felt the need to murder twenty children and six adults at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

To make matters worse, Wayne LaPierre, the walking blowhole who also happens to be the CEO of the National Rifle Association (NRA), came out and said that we needed even MORE guns in schools to defend our children. Not more gun laws, not more education, not even a fucking apology for what happened- HE WANTS MORE FUCKING GUNS.

Now here’s my dilemma: I could have sat back and not said shit. From the second the Newtown shooting happened, I knew nothing would change. On Facebook, I even predicted it. I said everyone would go through their grieving stage and dole out their fake outrage and then move on to whatever else TMZ decided to make a big deal out of the next week.

Then LaPierre had to open his big fat cake-hole and piss me off. In that moment, I became Al Pacino in THE GODFATHER, PART III. In my head, I was like, “EVERY TIME I THINK I’M OUT, THEY PULL ME BACK IN!”

That was when I wrote my open letter to Mr. Wayne LaPierre.

At any rate, I was looking at my Facebook page earlier when I happened on a post from The Ed Show that said Wayne LaPierre is now offering to put an armed member of the NRA in every school. Right there and then, my blood pressure shot through the roof and I just had to whip out my laptop and write about how this made me feel.

I don’t know if this freaking nimrod has taken his head out of his ass long enough to poke it outside of a window to notice, but we DON’T LIVE IN A POLICE STATE! What’s next- barbed wires and guard towers? I know, I know- how about we discipline our kids by tying them up in the playground and having public whippings? How about burning the slutty girls at the stake? That’ll cut down on the teenage pregnancy factor pretty quick, dontcha think?

The last thing this country needs is to have some knuckle-dragging idiot with a seventh-grade education turning another school into the gunfight at the OK corral. I hate to be the one to mention it, but this isn’t the wild west anymore, and even John Wayne is doing cartwheels in his grave at the rampant stupidity in this country. Even Saint Reagan wouldn’t go for that idea, and HE was the victim of an assassination attempt!

I mean, seriously- is this what it has come to? Are people so afraid of their own shadows that we have to leave the house strapped just to buy a bottle of fucking milk? Do we need to drape our kids in Kevlar school uniforms just to keep them safe? I don’t know about you, but that is NOT a world I want to live in.

Wayne LaPierre has definite issues, and not just the kind involving a limp penis. He’s beginning to make Charles Manson look cuddly! If the NRA had any collective brains whatsoever, they’d kick that psycho to the curb and replace him with somebody more sensible- like Arnold Schwartznegger!

Follow MadMike’sAmerica on Facebook and Twitter, and don’t forget to visit our HOME PAGE.

If you liked our story please share it at REDDIT.COM and PINTEREST as well as TUMBLR.