- CRITTER TALK
- SCI/TECH/OTHER STUFF
This brings us to poor Vijay Singh. If you haven’t heard of him, Vijay is one of America’s top golfers. He’s won lots of events, including three of professional golf’s “majors.” Vijay, however, is in trouble for using a product called Deer Antler Spray. From what I’ve learned this stuff is scraped from the antlers of young deer and supposedly has a chemical similar to human growth hormone, which means it’s banned from sports.
It’s easy to see how someone looking for a way to improve their performance might read a label promising the vim and vigor of a young male deer. Who wouldn’t want to run and mate like a young deer? Now that promise, however, has been causing trouble for Vijay Singh and Raven’s linebacker Ray Lewis. Ray denies he used Deer Antler Spray.
All of this got me to thinking. If Ray Lewis and Vijay Singh could use, or allegedly use, the scrapings of deer antlers, why couldn’t I put a jar under my neighbor’s slobbering boxer and sell it to gullible athletes? Boxers are tough and thickly muscled. After all, what athlete doesn’t want to be be tough and thickly muscled? Boxers run fast as well, in the event you didn’t know that, and, finally, I have never seen “boxer slobber” on a banned substance list.
My apologies to Vijay and any other athletes who were sucked in by the promise of great results from deer antler scrapings. No doubt Joe’s Original Boxer Slobber would have saved them lots of grief and embarrassment.