- CRITTER TALK
- SCI/TECH/OTHER STUFF
Just in case any readers are unsure about Britain’s political system I will attempt to clarify it.
The Conservative party are our closest equivalent to American Democrats, at least in theory. Of late though, the Conservatives under ‘Call me Dave’ Cameron, who normally leaned a little to the right have moved a little to the left leaving some in the center whilst others stayed on the right. A few even overshot the center and inadvertently finished leaning to the left.
The Labour party who are our closest equivalent to American Republicans always leaned to the left until Tony Blair, aka (B)Liar, took them to the center where a few overshot and finished slightly on the right whilst others didn’t like the center so went back to the left to join the ones who had stayed on the left either because they didn’t want to move or hadn’t noticed anyone else going anywhere in the first place.
With me so far?
The third so called ‘mainstream party’ are the Liberal Democrats who used to be the Liberals before joining up with a breakaway Labour group called the Social Democratic Party and changed their name from Liberals to Liberal Democrats. Nobody, including the Liberal Democrats, are quite sure where they are in the scheme of things, although generally they tried to nip in and pinch the ‘leaning to the left’ bit that Labour had held, and by the time they realized a lot of Labour were still there, they were sort of stuck in limbo. They tried to claim the center ground but too many Conservatives were still there along with some Labour who hadn’t yet realized they were in the same place as the Conservatives.
The Liberal Democrats then became irrelevant so were invited to form a coalition Government with the Conservatives who hadn’t won the General Election.
Labour were a tad miffed about this pointing out quite correctly the Conservatives hadn’t won but then shut up when someone pointed out that they’d lost by far more votes than the Conservatives hadn’t won by resulting in the Liberal Democrats who everyone had forgotten about forming half the Government despite losing even worse than Labour did.
Still with me? Simple really isn’t it?
In the meantime The United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) pinched the leaning to the right ground once occupied by the Conservatives who had followed ‘Call me Dave’ into the center, in some cases overshooting and going a bit left. The Conservatives still leaning right then either joined UKIP or just stayed in the Conservatives whilst being quietly embarrassed by the whole thing.
Other political parties of fluctuating interest are the Communist Party who never win anything but are usually good for the odd giggle, the British National Party who seem to believe Hitler was actually a jolly decent chap if you bother to look more closely at him, and are probably the most similar to America’s Tea Baggers. The Monster Raving Loony party, who invariably lose their deposits at elections fielding candidates called Tarquin F’Tang F’Tang Old Biscuit Barrel, and the Socialist Workers Party who tend to call everyone ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ suggesting they may well be the only incestuous political party we have.
The Green Party deserve a mention if only because it’s a nice color. There are also the Democratic Unionists from Northern Ireland and the Ulster Unionists. I know nothing about them other than a former leader Ian Paisley had an extraordinary sounding voice and, there is of course The Scottish National Party (SNP) supported by none other than Sean Connery. They want to bankrupt Scotland by taking her out of the United Kingdom. Crack on chaps and ‘oop yer kilt!’
Plaid Cymru are Welsh – but someone has to be, and the Respect Party don’t have much.
That’s it then. British Politics explained. Simples!
God Save The Queen and Aleksandr Orlov (who is a Russian Meerkat by the way, and if you don’t know you are clearly not in England)