A history of marriage

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After watching the recent wailing and gnashing of teeth from both sides of the same sex marriage issue I thought I would visit a bit of the history from a from a “did you know” perspective.

Looking back in time we the people immigrated from England and some other areas of the Western part of Europe. It’s not difficult to trace most of our customs, in so far as religion and social customs go, back through England to Rome. It is a fairly straight line and if not for the Romans we would all be be Druids instead of Christians.

It is interesting to note that the Romans had a fairly liberal society regarding marriage and sex. Though in earlier times the male was considered the dominant partner, marriage eventually was eventually seen as a partnership. There did not necessarily need to be a formal status, simply living together for a year was sufficient and divorce was also simple, but could only be brought by the man by writing a Bill of Divorce. There was no condemnation of two men consorting with each other but there was no form of marriage.

The practice of the Hebrews now was quite different. Marriages were arranged by parents, usually the fathers of the lucky couple. This was for economic reasons as the groom to be was to offer the equivalent of a dowry in the form of livestock or precious metals to the father of the bride. In many, if not most cases, the couple met for the first time on their wedding day. Once married it was considered forever since divorce was frowned upon and the couple were expected to procreate. Also, during this time it was not unusual for the man to have more than one wife. For example Jacob had two wives and Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines. A busy man he was.

In the fourth century, after Rome became Christianized, the Christian Emperors were content with the current Roman law, but the Church brought pressure to discourage divorce, and encourage virginity and abstinence. Under the Germanic laws, which were similar to the Hebrew laws, women were bought and sold into marriage by fathers as so much chattel. The Roman Catholic Church sought to bring marriage under the auspices of the Church and wrote the sacraments for it.

Now the situation was that divorces had to go through the church and marriages between relations became a problem. Anyone within 6 degrees of kinship was prohibited from marrying. It was here that the so called “Banns” at weddings (if anyone knows any reason that these two should not be married, etc.) came about, and the process of annulment in the event it was found that it was found that the couple had violated the consanguinity prohibition.

During the 12th and 13th century the church was gaining more control over marriages in England, although there was an agreement that a willing couple could get married without the knowledge or consent of the priest. While many would like to romanticize this period as one in which the church was assuring a “religious endowed” marriage among couples, it was still primarily about economics, particularly among the nobles and upper classes.

In the mid 16th century the protestant reformation rejected the churches interference in what Martin Luther referred to a government issue. Today’s protestants might well take note of this as it was the churches that pushed through Parliament an act that said marriage was no sacrament and was purely secular. It was not the government usurping the role of the church, it was the church saying that it was not its role. Additionally, the Protestant Reformers did not see marriage as insoluble indicating that if love was not there then the marriage was impractical.

Marriage in the New World (America) was a contortion at best. Most colonies brought with them whatever rules they had used in their home country. Where there were cultural differences they usually compromised. These were arranged-sale marriages for economic reasons, to marriages for survival. Because of the mortality rate few people stayed widowed very long because partners tended to last longer than those living alone. Again, a main reason for marriage was partnership and reproduction so that children could replace those who died early.  It is interesting to note that most all marriages during colonial days were civil contracts, not religious contracts.

In conclusion, one can look through this very brief summary of history of marriage and see there is no  religious mandate for marriage other than an obscure passage or two in the King James Bible. Even those are contradictory to the current claims of marriage being between a man and woman. The religious in this country will tell us that marriage is sacred but the history tells us different. In England the Protestant Reformation rejected the notion that marriage is a religious sacrament, and the Puritans and early colonists of this country saw marriage as a civil not religious contract.

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About Post Author

WAFormby

WAFormby has spent his life trying find out what he wants to be. When he determines that he will let everyone know, including himself. Most of his life he has been an educator and still enjoys bringing the light of knowledge, as he knows it, into the darkness of ignorance, as everyone else knows it. Despite his wealth of experience, education and knowledge he is humble and tries not to take himself too seriously.
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10 years ago

If the wifey finally gives up on me – 28 years of happy marriage down to two little words ‘Yes Dear’ – then I will marry one of my cats.

“Hello Vicar, this is my fiance”

“Pardon me?”

“Well – at least I’ve got pussy at my age!!”

Boom Boom

Sorry….I’ll get me coat…

10 years ago

Good read, Bill. We are on board, but good luck convincing those who believe the other way. They know they are right.

Admin
10 years ago

Every time I hear one of those Crazy Christians preaching about marriage between a man and a woman only I’ll think of this article.

Bill Formby
10 years ago

Thanks Jim. I may send a copy to Mike Huckabee also.

Jess
10 years ago

Boston marriage also, was a thing in the olden days of the 19th century between unmarried women. From all I see, there is no problem with the ladeez, it’s all about the gay men. I’m thinking some of the biggest opponents of marriage equality, have some tendencies they just have not explored yet. I say to them, get that freak flag to flying high girls and boys.

Bill Formby
Reply to  Jess
10 years ago

Very good point Jess. It was not unusual for ladies to live together during their early years until marriage. But, during colonial times single persons were frowned upon because they were not populating the New World nor replacing those that were dying off at a fairly rapid pace.

10 years ago

Thanks…saving this.

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