So What Exactly Is British Soccer?
Read Time:5 Minute, 40 Second
‘Soccer’ is purely an American invention. ‘It is actually ‘football’ but, as America has a thing called ‘American Football’ where nobody actually kicks the ball except ‘the kicker’ after a touchdown, America had to find another name for the greatest sport on Earth.
Now I’ve been to see American Football at the old Wembley Stadium many years ago. Someone called ‘The Refrigerator’ was playing – Walter Perry? I enjoyed it enormously although, I have to admit, I had no idea what the hell was happening.
My introduction to American Football came in the mid 80’s when it was televised in the UK – probably on Channel 4. I decided to ‘adopt’ The Miami Dolphins as ‘my’ team and they went on to win the Super Bowl so I was somewhat hooked – even if I didn’t really know what the hell was happening and, if I’m honest, still don’t. As The Miami Dolphins have failed to win anything since I can only apologize for supporting them. Clearly I was a ‘jinx’.
Football – the sport were players actually kick the ball on a regular basis ‘a la Beckham’ – or, to keep Americans vaguely on board, soccer – was invented in England somewhere during ‘The Black Death’ plague which, if you consider the behaviour of all the young millionaire ‘soccer’ players is possibly quite apt.
Soccer is a sport just like gymnastics and tennis and cricket and track & field and so forth but it does tend to attract considerably more money.
The difference, in England and indeed all of Great Britain, is that ‘soccer’ is, for want of a better description, a form of tribal warfare.
Genuine supporters haven’t chosen ‘their team’ as I chose The Miami Dolphins. Genuine supporters were born via their fathers or grandfathers or siblings taking them to their first ever ‘soccer’ game and, by their second or third visit, the football club their relative took them to see play became ‘their team’.
My Grandad could have taken me to Old Trafford to watch Manchester United and, if he had, Manchester United would have become ‘my’ team. Countless league titles, countless Cup winning performances and glory throughout.
Sadly, the silly old sod took me to Boundary Park to watch Oldham Athletic so Oldham Athletic became ‘my team’. I have, over the years, cursed my Grandad but, ultimately, I have forgiven him – mainly because he’s long dead and I can’t really stand over his grave berating him for choosing Oldham Athletic over Manchester United – well I could but I might well get arrested for swearing in a graveyard.
Football (soccer) in Britain is extremely ‘tribal’ and, on occasion, there is a definite ‘buzz’ of violence within the opposing supporters. Certainly the violence attached to British football is considerably reduced from its form in the 70’s 80’s and 90’s but it still exists.
West Ham United’s ‘Inter City Firm’ certainly still exist but the days when they would beat rival supporters to a pulp and then leave a ‘calling card’ on their bloodied heads stating ‘You’ve been visited by the ICF” are long gone.
Chelsea FC’s ‘Head Hunters’ are no longer the headlines on British sports pages and the intense sectarian rivalry between Scotland’s ‘old firms’ of Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers are history, if only because Rangers went bankrupt and were relegated as part of their punishment a couple of divisions down from Celtic who remain awesomely ‘in charge’ of the Scottish Premiership.
My team, Oldham Athletic, have very few ‘claims to fame’. We were, slightly bizarrely really, a ‘founder member’ of England’s ‘Premier League’. After years of bobbing about in the lower leagues of professional football we, almost accidentally, found ourselves promoted to ‘the top flight’ the season before Division 1 became ‘The Premier League’ leaving us as ‘founder members’. After a couple of seasons ‘hob-nobbing’ with ‘the big boys’ we were relegated back to where many would say we belong.
Oldham Athletic did have a ‘Firm’ though. A ‘Firm’ being the description of the hooligan element that has always existed in football. Even the England International team had a ‘Firm’ which possibly explains many English peoples aversion to openly mentioning they are English – at least in footballing terms – although matters are better now as hooliganism, whilst not entirely extinguished, is not what it once was.
Most footballing ‘Firms’ went around trying to ‘beat the crap’ out of their opposing ‘Firms’. Oldham Athletic currently have a ‘Firm’ called the ‘Fine Young Casuals’. I have no idea whether they go about beating other fans up or not but in my day we, the Oldham Athletic ‘Firm’ were known as ‘The Chaddy Fusiliers’ based on the fact that we stood in ‘The Chaddy End’ of our teams ground (The Chadderton Road end to give it its correct description).
We didn’t fight anyone – which was slightly odd as we were defined as ‘football hooligans’. We did, on occasion, smash up rival supporters public houses just for the fun of it and we did, on occasion, do a certain amount of damage to rival football teams grounds but, generally, we avoided violence against ‘rival fans’ mainly because we were lazy and preferred to avoid the risk of getting hurt.
Most ‘football firms’ chant aggressive chants to their opponents fans at the opposite end of the ground such as –
“Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!” or, for example, a London club such as Chelsea or Arsenal may chant to their opposition supporters from Newcastle or Liverpool if said opposition have had the audacity to score a goal –
“You’re going home in a London Ambulance!!” suggesting that said opposition supporters will ‘pay the price’ for their team scoring or winning at an away ground.
Oldham Athletic’s ‘Firm’ in the 70’s, The Chaddy Fusiliers, tended to chant at rival fans thus –
“We are the boys who make no noise and we’re only after c**t, we’re the heroes of the night and we’d rather fuck than fight we’re the heroes of The Chaddy Fusiliers!!” – or
“Oldham Boys we are here to shag your women and drink your beer!!”
A very good American friend called Jim joined me to watch Oldham Athletic play an ‘away’ game at Leyton Orient in London a few weeks ago. He expressed bewilderment at what was happening on the field of play and equal bewilderment at what he could hear rival fans ‘chanting’ at each other.
“So this is soccer in England Norman?” he asked
“No Jim” I replied, “it’s football but not as we know it”
For some strange reason he is now calling me ‘Spock’ – Americans eh? 😉
God Save The Queen and please let some Russian oligarch put his money into Oldham Athletic?
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I still cheer on the Miami Dolphins – sorry chaps – it’s my fault you don’t win anymore 😉
I for got to mention. Futebol (as it is known here) is the perfect game for children. Think about it Hardly any equipment is really needed. It doesn’t actually matter if there are two players on a team or 20. There are almost no rules. 1. Put the ball through the other team’s goal. 2. Only the goalie is permitted to use hands.
It is terrific exercise with lots of running and yelling is encouraged. What could be better for kids? That gown people could find it interesting is a total mystery. But I feel the same way about baseball. About that, even Pete Rose commented, “It’s men playing a boy’s game.” So why not soccer/football/futebol too?
I love the commentators and their screams of GOAAAALLLLLLL to the delight of fans everywhere.
From the font of all trivia (me) the origin of that was one Mexican announcer perhaps 15 or 20 years ago. Since that time, not one futebol announcer has had the talent to do anything else. Not even “Sccoooooorrrrreee!” or “PPPoooooiinnnnttt!” Nothing at all but the irritating and tiresome “Gooooooaaaaallll!”
But, being a game for children, does it deserve anything better?
It’s just fun to hear it done like that. We do it at our nephews soccer games and people look at us like we have some kind of damaged psyche. Just hatin is all, we still do it.
Then try yelling Point or score and check out the looks you’ll get then. Or, for real fun, try Wiiiinnnnnerrrr!
Who knows? You might start a trend.
I have things I do scream at ball games and on more than one occassion, my companions just try and get away from me. I’m a very bad loser and an okay winner 🙂 I’m a gloater you see, when things go my way.
Norman, I am well acquainted with soccer and football (American). Growing up we had only football but by the time my son came along soccer was just taking root around here. So I put him soccer and quickly found that most people knew less than I did about the game. Since I was teaching at the University of Alabama there were a lot of foreign students there who knew the game and I recruited a couple to teach me and to coach my son’s team. I also hit the library and read everything I could find on soccer. After two years of this I became fairly proficient at youth soccer and began coaching on my own when my son was 8. I never stop learning and started going to the intramural practices at the University. I coached my son in soccer and baseball until he hit 16 and then he went into the high school ranks. I still enjoy watching soccer a lot but I must say that I am still an American football guy, especially when it comes to the University of Alabama football. Of course I am a sports nut and will watch most any sports activity on TV as long as its competitive.
I’m really sad that America has never made a good showing in the World Cup.
Clearly I cheer England on – more in hope than expectation – but I cheered America on in The World Cup of Coby Jones and Alexei Lallas and I wondered…..how come a country of America’s size can only find a handfull of decent world class players?
On the plus side as we’re such a small island it gave me hope England might do a 66 again sometime…
I played girls soccer in a rec league for a while. I’m patiently waiting for the time hubby gets a phone call telling him he got his job at Real Madrid so I can move to Spain. I’m a baseball fan, don’t like football, American style, at all and that’s with a hubby who tried as much as he could to get me to appreciate the ballet that is football. Sorry, way too boring for me. The uniforms are nice though.
I’m a baseball fan as well Jess. Go Cards!!
I believe we already settled this, even as long ago as Oso and his Dodgers cap pic, when we all agreed the San Francisco Giants were the best team there is. I said it, it’s on the internet, so ergo whatever, derp derp, has to be true 🙂
The ‘British Lions’ Rugby team once offered to play a ‘Super Bowl’ winning team over two legs. – It may have been The Chicago Bears but it may have been someone else.
One game of American Football and one game of Rugby.
The legend goes that once The Bears (or whoever) realised that they couldn’t wear their ‘padding’ for the rugby game they declined.
nuff said 😉
In our backyards (“gardens” to Limeys) we played a version of football that was a slightly integrated version of your real football. We none of us ever managed to learn to use our heads in the game properly, of course, and we never carded someone for use of hands. It was a great deal of fun. And so, I never saw a real football game until I visited Mexico City. The family we stayed with was in the wealthy 4% of Mexico and had a lease on one of the stadium suites at Estadio Olympico and so we were well outside of the reach and danger of the fans chanting back and forth their support for their clubs. The game I went to was between Cruz Azul and America. I was only two familiar with the chant, as before the match we were at breakfast with my host family’s cousins. My hosts were fans of Cruz Azul and their cousins were solidly America. After the eggs and bacon had been consumed by ravenous footballers, somehow a verbal row broke out and we nearly broke the windows with volleys of “Cruz Azul!” “America!”
It was scary, but a great deal of fun. I wanted to be on the “America” side, because, after all I am an American. But I knew better than to cross my host family and so I dutifully supported Cruz Azul for that day.
At the game, I was surprised to see how much our backyard game differed from pro-league football. An amazing game. I don’t remember who won, but I will never forget that game. 101000 people were there. It was a welcome change from the bullfight they had taken us to the day before.
You know, given the size and population of America I can’t believe you’ve never even been close to contention for The World Cup.
Even England are better at football – and, sadly, we aren’t exactly as good as we were in 66 but we can only live in hope.
FYI, Norman. In American Football the ball is kicked for the extra point after a touchdown, as a punt, when the team on offense fails to advance the ball the required ten yards in 4 plays, (although the 4th play us usually the punt) or as a field goal when the offense cannot advance the ball any further and they feel the kicker can kick the ball far enough and accurately enough to put it through the goal posts. In the extra point and the field goal, the ball can be held in an optimum kicking position, by a team mate, normally the quarterback.
There used to be a play called the “drop kick”. The kicker would have to drop the ball, allow it to at least touch the ground and kick it through the goal posts. This play hasn’t been used in many years. I have personally never seen it.
Remember, in American football, it really isn’t a ball and kicking is a specialty position and placekickers and the punters are not always the same person.
Are you more confused now? Good! 😀
Clear as mud James old bean 😉
Always glad to contribute to the general chaos. 😀
It’s always fun to remind fellow Brits that the word ‘soccer’ was actually coined in England in the late 19th century (Oxford to be precise) to differentiate 2 codes of football, rugby football and association football. Hence rugby became ‘rugger’ and association became ‘soccer’.
Now that I didn’t know Velky!! ta very much – and that’ll teach Oxford for having a ground that only has three sides eh? 😉