Bible Bangers: God is Mad At St. Louis Cardinals

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The St. Louis Cardinals are my team.  When I lived in the city known as the Gateway to the West, I attended lots of home games and cheered and commiserated with them through countless pennants, and World Series.  After I read this story, however, I cheered when the team’s general manager, John Mozeliak, ordered the grounds crew at Busch stadium to stop etching Christian symbols onto the pitching mound.

Earlier this year, the grounds crew for the St. Louis Cardinals began drawing a number “6” along with a cross on the pitcher’s mound before home games in honor of former Cardinals star Stan Musial, who passed away in January.  When Mozeliak learned about the practice, he asked the grounds crew to stop doing it, saying that it is “not club policy to be putting religious symbols on the playing field or throughout the ballpark.”

And that, of course, has outraged Matt Barber and Steve Crampton, who apparently feel that not having a cross etched on the pitcher’s mound is some sort of attack on their religious freedom, as Crampton declared that God is now “the dirtiest word that can be spoken in public” while asserting that ending the practice is “an embarrassment for our nation” and an insult to the God-fearing people of St. Louis.

“We are going to find ourselves,” Crampton warned, “in grave danger. And so our being embarrassed by a cross on a pitcher’s mound is shameful and you can bet that the Creator of Heaven and Earth is not turning a blind eye to what is going on in America today”:

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Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.
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10 years ago

If God has the foggiest idea what baseball is then I’m glad I’m an atheist. The deity is obviously deranged as, frankly, are you old bean for even attempting to take baseball seriously 😉

Someone throws a small ball towards a chap with a bat and gets paid mega bucks for doing it?

Let’s form an MMA Team and get rich eh?

Jess
Reply to  Norman Rampart
10 years ago

I wouldn’t be able to play on Mike’s team Norman, seeing as I have the girly bits and we aren’t allowed. We could do fast pitch co ed softball and I can be on that team if it happens. I call dibs on pitching or shortstop though.

E.A. Blair
10 years ago

“Dear Praying People,

This is God. I’m sorry but I can’t answer your prayers right now. The groundskeepers at Busch Stadium are fervently praying for Me to help their pathetic pitching staff (and, oy, there are some things even a deity can’t help), so it looks like I’m going to be busy for the next few hours.

Your prayer is very important to Me. Please stay on your knees and the next angel, saint or deceased relative will be on the line to intercede for you, and I’m really sorry for any deaths, illnesses or natural disasters that happen during the game.”

Jess
Reply to  E.A. Blair
10 years ago

Psst, while you are doing something about Busch stadium can you please look into the San Francisco Giants and the losing streak they are on. I’ll hold for you, since I won’t talk to your minions. They all give me the sadz, transferring me all over the place only to be told to hold again and that hold music, harps and Barry Manilow, REALLY you had to go with that?

Jess
Reply to  Professor Mike
10 years ago

They have been truly driving the will to live out of me last few games. That and the damn seagulls at the park shitting everywhere. Hubby says, well it’s a good sign in Italy when they do that. Honey, we aren’t even close to the Italian part of the city, never mind the actual country of Italy.

Jess
10 years ago

Dayum. God is all about being mad for no good reason. Sucks to be that ragey ragey at everything all the time. Maybe he needs a weekend off from his troubles, where he can go get a massage and have champagne while sitting at the ocean listening to waves cresting. Hey wait, maybe that is what I am doing this weekend and I want it available for this god that is so tweaked about everything and anyone. Ok, NOW we really need to start some kind of money gathering telethon for this god guy, so he can get away from it all and forget his troubles. Where to start, where to start.

Joe Hagstrom
10 years ago

Freaking kooks like this Crampton are the reason we’re in “grave danger.”

Can’t they find legitimate issues to express outrage over?

10 years ago

If there were a creator, I would hope it is not “turning a blind eye” to what is happening with the religious reich in America.

There should be some serious smiting going on.

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