Freemasonry: Not a Secret Organization But An Organization of Secrets

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This is the contribution were I get assassinated and MMA gets closed down. Whoooooooo; oops; and oh dear all at the same time eh?

The organisation that is called ‘The Freemasons’ is not, according to them, a secret organisation, it is an organisation of secrets. There is, according to Freemasons, a distinct difference in those statements and who am I to argue being as I am a Freemason?

I am, for what it’s worth, the following :

A) The most unlikely Freemason in Freemasonry history – I am actually a Provincial Officer (in Middlesex, England). A ‘Past Provincial Assistant Grand Standard Bearer’ – but there you go. Even I, Norman Rampart, can gain entry into the realms of the great and good eh?

B) The youngest ‘Master’ of a Freemasons Lodge in Middlesex (England) history and, one of the youngest ever ‘Masters’ in Freemasonry history in Britain – as far as I can tell. Well, I was told at the time I was anyway. I’ve no idea whether to believe that or not. Then again, as regards Freemasonry I have no idea what to believe at all – and I’ve been there and got the t-shirt.

C) If Freemasonry is even vaguely what we are led to believe – and I should know but I genuinely don’t – then publishing this article may possibly be a bad thing for MMA.

Question.

Have we the balls?

I have – until a Freemason cuts them off anyways.

My father was a Freemason. My Grandfather was a Freemason. I knew this and was curious. Curious in the sense of ‘what the hell IS a Freemason?’

Many moons ago as I drank my way through many public houses with some pals I spotted a sign saying “The Masonic Temple Of Uxbridge” and I wandered in. – Actually it said “The Uxbridge Masonic Temple” but WTF eh?

To cut a long story short I found myself ‘going through’ the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Degrees – if only to satisfy my curiosity regarding my father and grandfather.

I sort of ‘whizzed’ through the offices of ‘Inner Guard” and “Junior Warden” and “Deacon” including ‘Senior’ in both posts and ended up ‘in the CHAIR’. I was ‘MASTER of my LODGE’ and I was ‘THE MAN’.

I was ‘The Master’ of my Lodge and still had no idea WTF it was all about.

Perhaps the ‘Masons’ had fucked up and shouldn’t have taken me on? Quite reasonable. Perhaps I was too stupid to understand what was going on? Not unreasonable. Still, many of my compatriots new to ‘Masonry’ clearly had as little idea as me so I wasn’t entirely alone eh?

There I was, if it is to be believed, the youngest ‘Master’ of a Lodge in Middlesex history and without a bloody clue what was occurring.

“Worshipful Master” boomed a chap called Gordon Bourne, Provincial Grand Master for the Province of Middlesex at our ‘festive board’ (the name we call our food after the ceremonial bit is over) “It is important that the ritual FLOWS! And your ritual flowed”

I smiled at him gratefully not having the foggiest idea what he was on about.

“Quite where it flowed” he continued to boom, “is a complete mystery BUT, IT FLOWED!!!”

Everybody applauded and I wondered why I’d bothered to be curious about my father and grandfather’s interest and membership of freemasonry.

For what it’s worth, way back then I was not only in ‘The Craft’ as Freemasons call it but also in ‘Chapter’, ‘MARK’, and several other ‘degrees’ and no, not only do I not have a clue what it all meant – Royal Ark Mariners??? – but neither do I care.

Trust me on one thing if on nothing else.

Freemasonry isn’t a bad thing.

Some Freemasons are bad.

I’m still a Provincial Officer even if I’m no longer a member of a Lodge but after so many years I still have no idea WTF it’s all about.

If I said ‘Shibboleth’ I will be hung out to dry…oops

Don’t ask me. I think it’s a load of bollocks and when MMA is shut down and I am found hanging from Blackfriar’s Bridge it will all be an entire coincidence. So there.

Now give me a handshake – no! Not that one, the Masonic one!!! Oh good grief!!! 😉

Norman Rampart,

PProvAGStB (Past Provincial Assistant Grand Standard Bearer)

Nobody is perfect eh….

…..least of all me. Sorry Freemasons. It really is a load of bollocks isn’t it?

Now what’s this stuff in my e-mails about Blackfriar’s Bridge?

oops

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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Bill Formby
10 years ago

There are lot of Freemason legends or myths or perhaps truths tied to America. Many of our forefathers, as they are called were Freemasons. There are those that insist that there is symbolism on the one dollar bill relating to the Freemasons and that they, as a secret society, still run the government.

Reply to  Bill Formby
10 years ago

You are henceforth known as ‘the wise one’ – I’ll say no more or I’d have to kill you 😉

newageluddite
10 years ago

A few years ago some Southern Baptist minister declared the Freemasons to be Satanic and a mockery of the True Christian Faith, due to having initiates go through a symbolic death, burial in coffin, and resurrection. I thought that was interesting, given the number of Southern Baptist Freemasons I grew up around. Apparently they’d not gotten the message.

Reply to  newageluddite
10 years ago

There’s always some Southern Baptist minister trying to get notoriety by making controversial and absurd statements. Sadly, they often succeed.

Reply to  newageluddite
10 years ago

Close enough again…After nearly 30 years as a mason – about 24 of them active – I still haven’t a bloody clue – well I have but Blackfriars Bridge n all that 😉

Reply to  newageluddite
10 years ago

Actually there’s no burial in a coffin but there is a “death” and “resurrection.”

10 years ago

Many of my relatives were and are Masons. I have no idea what it is all about other than the Shriners part seem to enjoy wearing silly harts and participating in parades driving absurd vehicles or outrageous motorcycles.

They do so good and charitable works and seem to be somewhat, although not entirely secular. At least they don’t use them as a hook to proselytize. They make a great example when some bible-bashing boron (boring moron) challenges me to name a secular charity.

Most of them don;t really know the definition of secular anyway. They think it means the same as atheist but really only means “non-religious.” Does that fit the Freemasons?

Reply to  James Smith
10 years ago

Close enough….er…probably 😉

Reply to  Norman Rampart
10 years ago

It is my understanding that the organization requires that you profess belief in a “higher power.” I’m not sure what they mean by that as almost any power is higher than I am. Take my wife, for example.

Or as Henny Youngman said, “Take my wife – please.”

Reply to  James Smith
10 years ago

There’s a lot of “God” in Freemasonry James. Been there and done that.

Reply to  Professor Mike
10 years ago

That’s another reason that I am not one of them. I know they do some could work and can technically qualify as a “secular” organization. I can support their charities but I cannot be a hypocrite.

Reply to  James Smith
10 years ago

That’s where I was with it James.

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