How Princess Diana Died – Or Probably Not

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Princess Diana.  Pic courtesy of lafeem.blogspot.com
Princess Diana. Pic courtesy of lafeem.blogspot.com

New information has been passed to the police relating to the deaths of Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed and is thought to include an allegation that they were murdered by a member of the British military, it emerged tonight – or tomorrow depending on when you are reading this.

Scotland Yard said it is “scoping” the information and “assessing its relevance and credibility”.

‘Scoping’? What the hell is ‘scoping’???

It is understood the allegation was made by the former parents-in-law of a former soldier based on information that the ex-soldier talked about in the past, according to a military source.

Hang about. The ‘former parents-in-law’ suggests he’s divorced their daughter and started shagging someone else – just my thought. Treat it gently eh? I have so few. A ‘former soldier’ could be a winner of The V.C. or a stupid drunk. How is a ‘former soldier’ a reliable witness unless he isn’t ‘shell shocked’ or suffering in general from exposure to barbarism?

It is believed the information was passed to the Metropolitan Police through the Royal Military Police.

A statement issued by Scotland Yard said: “The Metropolitan Police Service is scoping information that has recently been received in relation to the deaths and assessing its relevance and credibility.

‘Scoping? Oh dear. What a world eh? The British police can only catch a bad guy by ‘scoping’. We’re in deep do-do now.

“The assessment will be carried out by officers from the specialist crime and operations command.

“This is not a re-investigation and does not come under Operation Paget.” – Operation what???

Police said they are not prepared to discuss the matter further, while a royal spokeswoman said there will be no comment on the matter from Prince William or Prince Harry, or from Clarence House.

Diana, Dodi and chauffeur Henri Paul died after their Mercedes crashed in the tunnel, a journey which left the Ritz Hotel on the morning of August 31, 1997.

The hearing into the deaths of Diana and Dodi lasted more than 90 days with evidence from around 250 witnesses.

250??? Where the hell did the French dredge up 250 witnesses???

They all fucked up didn’t they? Well, for some of them they just had too.

The inquests concluded on April 7 2008, with a jury returning a verdict that the ”People’s Princess” and her boyfriend were unlawfully killed.

After the hearing, Metropolitan Police said they had spent £8 million on services arising from the inquest and the Operation Paget investigation from 2004 to 2006.

I am impressed if not absolutely amazed that the British Police can even count!

That money includes the cost of the legal team which represented the force’s commissioner at the inquest, police protection for the inquest jury and paying for the Paget inquiry, reported to have cost £3.6 million.

Former Met Police Commissioner Lord Stevens’s ‘Paget Investigation’ was launched in 2004 at the request of Michael Burgess, the Royal Coroner, who was then overseeing the future Diana inquest.

The former top policeman published his report in December 2006, rejecting the murder claims voiced by some, including Dodi’s father Mohamed al Fayed.

Lord Stevens’s investigation found that Diana was not murdered by British spies nor by the Duke of Edinburgh – although I wouldn’t have been surprised if he did – and she was not pregnant nor engaged to boyfriend Dodi.

Operation Paget  – by the way, precisely why was it called ‘Operation Paget’? – no idea – concluded, just like the French investigation in 1999, that driver Henri Paul was drunk and driving at excessive speed.

The investigation dismissed the endless conspiracy theories sparked by the fatal accident.

Mr Paul had an alcohol level of around 1.74 grams per litre at the time of the crash – about twice the British drink-drive limit.

The black type S280 Mercedes was being driven through the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris at around 61 to 63mph – twice the speed limit for that section of road.

Lord Stevens said allegations that Diana was murdered were ”unfounded” and that he found nothing to justify further inquiries with members of the Royal Family.

The Ministry of Defence said tonight it was not commenting on the matter. MMMMmmmm – maybe they should, if only to stop the ‘conspiracy theorist’ mob eh?

Diana, mother of William and Harry, was 36 at the time of her death, while Dodi was 42.

A spokesman for Mr Al Fayed said he had no comment to make, but said he will be “interested in seeing the outcome”, adding that he trusts the Met will investigate the information “with vigour”.

Sorry Al, you’d have more hope if you had said ‘vinegar’ mate.

Ordinary lives go on eh? Rest in peace Di. You might have been murdered or, more likely, you weren’t, but either way us ordinary folks, much as we loved you, couldn’t really care less.

Blond Bimbo’s are two a penny so losing one – regardless of her being Royalty – is, frankly, neither here nor there.

Besides – Harry is so clearly the son of Major James Hewitt you have to give old ‘Charley Boy’ much credit for treating Harry as though he was his own.

It’s another world eh? Well, it has to be really as the rest of us aren’t ‘royalty’ – we’re just ‘commoners’ – so there.

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About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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MrsB
10 years ago

I thought they forced both Will and Harry to give dna and it was confirmed they were legitimate? Also, and please correct me if I’m wrong, on the half-brother Muslim thing, it wouldn’t have mattered. Only those with royal blood could claim the throne, right? They would have had to assassinate all dukes and dutchess’ with royal blood and then I don’t believe a non-royal half brother of a royal would qualify any way. So, that theory seems silly. Obviously not something you mention in your article, Norman, but since it’s brought up in an above comment, I thought I would speculate. I would believe, though, that there may have been someone so racist as to not want William and Harry to have a Muslim half-sibling, regardless if he could claim the throne.

Reply to  MrsB
10 years ago

Very valid point Mrs B. As far as I’m aware William and Harry have undergone no DNA tests – and if they have the results are certainly not privy to us ordinary mortals.

Harry is almost certainly the progeny of Major James Hewitt – no matter. His ginger hair is something of a give away really. ‘Prince Charley boy’ brought him up as his own so kudos to Charley I’d say?

Jennings Hartman
Reply to  MrsB
10 years ago

MrsB, thank you for calling my theory silly, just about made my day. I’ll have you know I gave that comment a good two minutes of hard thought before I wrote it and I’m sticking with it. But, the point is rather moot considering that there is a new royal baby in the picture, a new defender of the faith in waiting.

Reply to  Jennings Hartman
10 years ago

Jennings, I really really like you.

I’m so so sorry 😉

Jennings Hartman
10 years ago

Of course Diana was murdered. The secretive British establishment could not tolerate the idea of her having a child (maybe a son) with a Muslim. The son would be a half-brother to William and Harry and, potentially a pretender to the throne. Imagine if William and Harry were taken out by an accidental assassination. The boy, probably named Mohammed after his grandfather, would create a constitutional crisis which could possibly destroy the monarchy in Britain, if not, Long live King Mohammed.

Reply to  Jennings Hartman
10 years ago

oops – I just agreed with Anon above now I’m agreeing with you. Oh dear. Life’s so confusing at times eh?

Anonymous
10 years ago

Yet another ridiculous conspiracy theory! No fact, or substance, just rumor and innuendo. The princess died in a car accident. Period.

Reply to  Anonymous
10 years ago

Correct Anon!

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