The Continuing Adventures Of Billy No Mates : FIGHT! FIGHT!
Read Time:2 Minute, 35 Second
Billy No Mates continues to be madly in love with Purrrdy. Marie Bug and Gracie May The Fruit Bat continue to spurn his advances. Billy No Mates continues to not worry about being spurned as Purrrdy is HIS baby. Hussy that she is.
Tonight, Marie Bug decided to attack Gracie May The Fruit Bat. Nobody has any idea why this occurred, including I suspect, Marie Bug and Gracie May The Fruit Bat. It just sort of ‘happened’.
All was peaceful and quiet in the Rampart household until, without warning, Marie Bug struck. Gracie May The Fruit Bat hissed very loudly and then they were ‘at it’ so to speak.
The fur flew, the growls and hisses and screeches permeated the house and a strange bundle of black and white fur rolled around the floor intertwined with a ball of tabby fur.
The wifey and I considered placing our hands between them to separate them then thought better of it. Maximus Spittimus and The Stealth Bomber watched on in quiet awe at the flying fur – clearly bewildered – as Maximus Spittimus sat on the sofa with his tongue hanging out – although, I admit, that is pretty much his natural pose. The Stealth Bomber jumped on my lap to watch from a safe distance and, despite my insistence, the wifey declined to interfere.
Suddenly, through the lounge doorway, strode Billy No Mates.
He arched his back and made a strange sound.
“MWARRRGH!!” or something to that effect.
Marie Bug and Gracie May The Fruit Bat immediately stopped tearing lumps of fur out of each other and stood up.
“HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS” said Billy No Mates.
Marie Bug then slunk away and Gracie May The Fruit Bat jumped onto the sofa and curled up on the blanket (blanky) formerly belonging to Maximus Spittimus.
At this point Purrrdy appeared and shoved her backside into Billy No Mates face.
Billy No Mates then led her up the stairs – presumably into his inner sanctum on our bed.
The wifey and I then decided to allow them privacy and remained downstairs watching a James Bond movie.
It appears that Billy No Mates is now in charge – and a very good job of being in charge he is doing.
If you are a cat owner then, like us, you will be very well aware that you are allowed to remain in your house as long as you feed them on demand and accept being woken up at 3 a.m. when they want attention. If you are not a cat owner then you will be unaware that whilst paying off your mortgage and believing that YOUR house is yours you are wrong.
YOUR house is their house therefore it is THEIR house and, despite paying your money you have to realise this simple fact.
Billy No Mates now owns the house and he will allow us to remain providing we follow his rules.
We also have to follow the rules of Maximus Spittimus, The Stealth Bomber, Purrrdy, Marie Bug and Gracie May The Fruit Bat.
As long as we do we can live here too.
Fair enough?
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My cats used to fight a little, but have calmed down on their own, but having started out feral they still want to piss over the house. I am armed at all times with my spray bottle of urine gone and paper towels.(I exagerated a “wee” bit.
Thank you Jess!!! I am also ‘the hubby’ who has to get up….I will get some and, hopefully calm down Marie Bug and Gracie May The Fruit Bat.
You could also try catnip spray on blankies and stuff, so they can tire themselves out playing or feathers on string like we do for ours everynight after my dog has been for her walk. There is also a Feliway spray, if you don’t want to go to the initial expense of plug ins, just in case it doesn’t work for your cats. My treacherous little pride knows not to come near me when I am sleeping, they get bounced off the bed if I am disturbed.
Norman, they have this product Feliway you can use for them. It calms them down some so they are not fighting all the time and you can sleep. My cats try waking me at all hours but they never get me up, no one does animal or human. I sleep like the dead, so hubby has to do the getting up early thing :)It’s like a synthetic pheremone for them, the Feliway and it calms them the hell down when you have multiples.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feliway-Plug-Diffuser-Refill-48ml/dp/B003F0KB7Y