The “Sandwich Generation” – What it means, Who it affects, and How to Deal

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You’ve heard of the Baby Boomers and Generations Y and X, but have you heard of the “Sandwich Generation?”  This moniker, along with “Club Sandwich”, was coined by Carol Abaya in 2006 after finding herself facing a unique set of challenges that came with caring for her parents and her own young children at the same time.

Courtesy www.silverlinedliving.wordpress.com
Courtesy www.silverlinedliving.wordpress.com

The “Sandwich Generation” is a growing segment of the middle aged population, and its growth is signaling a silent epidemic facing families worldwide. This generation is metaphorically “sandwiched” between caring for their aging parents and their own children simultaneously. The frustration, stress, and physical exhaustion that stem from caring for two sets of generations poses a significant threat to the caregiver’s health and personal life. 

It’s emotionally and physically burdensome to deal with health problems, social problems and other problems of those dependent on you. In turn, the emotional stress multi-generation caregivers face can cause problems of their own like marital issues, health issues, etc., that threaten to unravel their family altogether. 

To avoid a complete breakdown, it’s imperative to handle caring for parents and children (at the same time) with caution. Read on for some tips on how to balance your life caring for two generations. 

Tip 1 – Knowledge is POWER.When first beginning your caregiving journey, take time to speak with experienced caregivers, research on the Internet, talk to your parents to find out what they’re going through physically and emotionally, and speak with their doctors.  Understanding how your parents feel about aging and identifying what their day to day needs are represent the first steps you should take. To help your transition to caretaker look for Sandwich Generation support groups—this give you your own support system when you need it! 

Tip 2 – Be adaptive. Everyone is unique and handles things differently.  You must understand that your parents will have different expectations for their daily life. Will they go stir-crazy lying on the couch all day?  If so, find projects for them around the house that to keep them moving. Or, help your parents come up with a new project that will keep them occupied—like a new hobby. Ask your dad to help your son build a train track in the basement, or ask that mom goes through all of the old picture boxes and creates photo albums. Small tasks will help them feel needed— like they’re making a contribution to the family.

Tip 3 – Help yourself Sometimes helping others makes life harder on yourself.  While it’s great to help other people, especially your parents,, you need to be careful not to forget yourself and other loved ones (husband/wife and kids).  Putting constant thought and time into your parents can put a strain on other relationships.  Ask your spouse for their input – don’t leave them out.  Have your spouse keep you grounded; have him or her tell you when you’re starting to obsess about your parents.  And don’t forget, your children are only young for a short period of time, so definitely give them plenty of your time.  Stay organized and remember time management!

The key to the “Sandwich Generation” is to not lose yourself while helping everyone else.  If you’re overwhelmed and stressed out, you’re helpful to no one. So remember, it’s ok to say “No” or “Not today” or simply “I can’t, I’m sorry.”  Take a look at your daily organizer, figure out when and how you can help your parents, when you can spend quality time with your kids, and definitely don’t forget to “pencil in” time with your spouse. When your parents are in a nursing home and your kids are out of the house, it’ll be just you and your spouse—make sure you nurture your marriage instead of prioritizing everyone else.   

Remember, there are many resources to help those who find themselves a part of the Sandwich Generation. If you or a loved one are overwhelmed by your responsibilities as a multi-generation caretaker, call a professional and seek assistance.

Tara Chila, blogger for Transit Systems, Inc., writes mostly about moving, travel, house & home, kids, parenting, and recipes. Transit Systems specializes in a variety of shipping and moving services including international shipping.

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4 years ago

[…] Sandwich Generation — the unrecognized, silent support system of our aging populace. This generation is […]

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10 years ago

The decision to put parents into “homes” has to be gut wrenching and yet millions of people do so every year.

10 years ago

Put parents in care home, send kids to school – job done. I’m a cynical old sod so don’t mind me.

10 years ago

All true. If you cannot take care of yourself and stay healthy mentally and physically, how can you help anyone else?

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